Saturday, July 24, 2010

How Do YOU Advocate?

I have always been out. Out about my sexuality. Out about my open marriage. And out about my Infertility. I'm pretty sure only the postman doesn't know. And I know it's hard for many of you ladies to do the same. I KNOW that. I get it. But please read this, and take it into consideration.

Advocacy about Infertility is coming into its own right now. Much like gay rights in the 60's. Cancer in the 70's. Etc, ad nauseum. It's OUR time. Time to put it out there. Time to get the funding, the insurance, the benefits, the SUPPORT we need and deserve.

Self Magazine published an article recently about IF and how in the closet it is. There is a part in the article that talks about how quiet it is in the RE's office. How we are all struggling with the same thing, and yet NO ONE wants to talk about it. I saw it this morning while I was there. I have tried to engage other women/couples there. It's damn near impossible. DH and I are very much so the most verbal while in the waiting room, commenting on the TV, talking to each other, etc. Everyone else sits in uncomfortable silence. Why? We all share this burden. Why are we so ashamed? Silence DOES NOT help us.

Keiko is doing a whole series on advocacy for our disease. Yes, disease. So sayeth WHO. 'Bout damn time, too! Go read what she has to say. Listen, I'm not saying go out and host a neighborhood party. I'm saying don't hide so much. I'm saying be honest with someone you love. It's a start.

And in case you think I think it's easy's not. Oh, no, so far from that. But I got over that hump in college when I went into classrooms and talked about being gay/bi, and what that meant, and answering questions. Do I do things like that now? No, but I would. I'm just starting to dip my toes into this whole thing. Do I sometimes make people uncomfortable? Hell, yeah. But here's the order to make those topics more comfortable, we have to TALK about them. Bring them into the open.

And do you know what has happened? After people get over the shock of me discussing something so intimate, I hear about their loved ones, or their stories. Things they have been afraid to discuss before. I discover support. I discover other hurts, and that we can help each other through it.

So I challenge you, just a small one, but a challenge nonetheless. If you aren't "out", start small, but start. Tell someone you love, tell someone close to you, tell a stranger (because you never have to see them again), but don't be silent. In that vein, I am telling you all my real name. Genevieve Binsau. There you go. Google me. I'm cool with that.

Like The Lorax says, "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."


  1. You are awesome! Although I'm "out" about our infertility to the world and his uncle (I think even the mailman knows) I choose to keep my blog anonymous because I have a better chance at not censoring my feelings that way.

    Lots of love to you!

  2. Oh, I'm out on our IF. Big time!

  3. You really are awesome. And, i suck at the being "out" thing. You're inspiring me to try, though. I'll let you know how it goes...

  4. I outed my infertility all at once to my family and man did I get a ton of responses, some good, some sad. Living open and honest is the best way to do it.

  5. you are awesome and I've made the request too, many times to just be who you are. IF is not shameful and if you feel it is, it's just somehthing else holding you back. You know.

    I talk about our IF to everyone, whenever someone tells me how beautiful my kiddos are, they get how "hard earned" they were too and how IF is something that we need to talk about. A LOT...and stop being quiet about it. This is a great post ...:)

  6. I outed myself with IF slowly, but put the final nail in it this year when outing myself on Facebook. I heard from lots of people I didn't know so well, and it felt good.


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