Sunday, April 20, 2014

A Breastfeeding Encounter

Yesterday we took the kids to this indoor play park. Luckily I got the tickets ahead of time via Groupon because I'm not sure it would have been worth it otherwise, but they had fun, so all is well.

Anyway, I was in the under 2 area with Finn and these 2 girls, probably age 6 or 7, were in there. They were fascinated with Finn. I had to keep reminding them to be gentle as they were manhandling him a bit. Finn got fed up and crawled over to me. He started yanking on my shirt, which means he was ready to nurse, so I pulled down my shirt a bit and we went to town.

The girls had more than a little passing interest in this. So here's how the conversation went.

Girls: What does he want?
Me: He wants to nurse, drink breast milk.
G: What's that?
M: Mommy's make milk and babies drink it.
G: So he doesn't drink out of his own bottle?
M: He does when I'm not around.
G: Does that hurt? Does he have teeth?
M: No, it doesn't hurt, and yes he has teeth.
G: Can we taste the milk?
M: Ummm, no.
G: Can we feel the milk?
M: No, it's inside.
G: (not believing me, they both reach over and poke my boob) I felt it! I felt the milk!
M: Okay.

And then they left. I was dying. I'm sure their parents would be thrilled to know that they touched my boob. I missed a few of the things they said, but that was the gist of the conversation. So funny. And mildly awkward, especially the poking part.

So that's my latest and greatest nursing in public experience. It's the strangest by far.

Thursday, April 17, 2014


I'm sorry I've been such a downer about Phelan lately. I'm just frustrated and need to let it out. And hoping I'm not the only one who goes through such things with their child. Which it turns out is the case. Hearing about others' struggles makes me feel better. Not that I'm glad they are struggling or have struggled, it just means I'm not alone.

Parenting can be a lonely proposition. It's good to know I have support.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Tears Of Frustration

Raising Phelan is turning out to be the most difficult thing I've done in my life. Some days I don't know what to do. Yesterday he at NOTHING. He had some milk and pediasure and "juice" but that's it. He fought bedtime despite the melatonin and was crying that he was hungry, but wouldn't eat anything. I was in tears. I don't know how to fix things like that. He WILL NOT EAT. I think it's time to seek therapy for the eating issues. The pedi is not worried, but I sure as hell am.

He has nightmares and night terrors. Those are the worst thing ever. All you can do is hold them and hope it's over soon. I dread bedtime. The worst of them tend to occur within an hour of him going to sleep and then we have to start the whole process alllll over. It's heartbreaking.

And I really fear he's going to be 4 before he agrees to potty train. Everyone tells me he won't go to Kindergarten in diapers, but I'm not so sure about that. He simply refuses.

This child is going to be the death of me. I love him to pieces, but he wins, hands down. I'm along for the ride. I can't even imagine what the teenage years will be like. OMG.

Thursday, April 3, 2014


I spoke with the teacher who had P in the afternoon that day. She said he was NOT doing anything with the chairs. That he was sitting on the reading couch with his lovey just asking for Mommy. So I'm feeling better. Also, a friend told me about this necklace so I think I will order it and give it a go. It can't hurt. I don't want to stifle him at all, but I need some of the wild to go away.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014


Friday my sitter, Abuela, was sick and I couldn't get ahold of my old sitter as a back up. I called work and my boss needed me badly, so she told me to bring the boys in with me. Finn I wasn't worried about. He's my easy child. I knew he'd be fine and chill and not be a problem. Phelan...I was really worried about that.

He started off the day okay, and in fact, as far as I know, he did really well all morning. And then it came time for naps. He was "washing his hands" ie playing in the water. He was told he needed to stop and that it was nap time. He proceeded to run screaming around the room "I'm not taking a nap. I want a movie. NO!!!" You get the idea. So they came to find me to find out how to handle him. We fixed that problem. I thought that was it.

Yesterday my boss was telling me that he kinda lost it at the end of the day, too. A parent came to her and said there was a kid in the room she didn't recognize throwing chairs. Boss lady checked, and he wasn't throwing chairs, but it's very possible that he was relocating them. He got very agitated again, and they decided to just bring him to me as I was down to only 2 other kids at the time.

When I dropped him off, I apologized in advance, knowing he'd be difficult. But I'm still so embarrassed. You guys, I try everything with him. It just doesn't work. He is such a handful. People at work are impressed with how I handle the difficult children. It's because I have Phelan. I've seen it all. But I don't know what to do. I can only hope that he will eventually settle down some, but I see ADHD meds in our future.

He can be the sweetest kid on the face of the earth. But when he's done or determined, god help you if you try to deter him. People asked if he would be attending the school. I said that A I can't afford it and B I don't want the teachers to hate me because of my kid.

I love him to the moon and back. But it's so frustrating to feel like a terrible parent because your child is wild and nothing works. He's too young for meds and too young to be diagnosed. So at this point, I just have a strong-willed stubborn wild child. Who runs my house. I feel like the worst parent ever.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

A Few Pics

I haven't posted pics of the boys in FOREVER, so here are some from the last week!

Mama and Phelan selfie. He thinks selfies are good fun.
See? Selfies are fun!

Mama, I want the phone! Screw the selfie!

Haha! I found Phelan's birthday cake! So much for waiting until a year old!

What is this face paint shit?

Breastfeeding still going strong. A lot of gymnurstics these days.

Monday, March 24, 2014

My Baby is 3

Phelan turned 3 on Thursday with very little fanfare.  He even turned down the french fries and chocolate shake I bought him. Stinker. But then, he's been stubborn since conception. And as time goes on that just gets stronger and stronger. He is very much his own person, and his will is unbendable. He may be the death of my sanity. And my furniture and carpets.

We celebrated Saturday by taking him to the Trampoline park, which was an epic fail. He freaked the moment it was time to jump. And Sunday had our friends over for some cake and singing. Low key. I'm just not the mom to put on a huge party he will barely remember and is still struggling with the concept of. I told him it was his birthday, and he said "Happy Birthday" to me. And to anyone who would listen. So, there's that. He knows that birthdays are happy though.

He still isn't potty trained but we are making strides. I need more alcohol. And a steam spot cleaner for my now pee soaked furniture and floors. He KNOWS how to go. He KNOWS when he needs to go. He just can't be bothered. It takes away from what he's doing. I'm not sure how to overcome that. He does like wearing underwear, though. Bonus points?

He has a renewed interest in all things Signing Time, so I'm hoping to get more videos. I want Finn exposed as well. He gets so into them. I love it. And I'm learning more as well.

I can't call him a toddler anymore. He's 3. He's a preschooler. He's a little boy. Who's learning and growing and becoming more and more his own person every day. He's growing up. He wants a BIKE. I'm not ready for that! Potty, then bike. There should be some sort of order to these things.

3 years has gone by so quickly, and yet seems like a lifetime. His lifetime. I barely remember life without him.