Thursday, July 29, 2010

Crazy Going Slowly Am I

This photo calms me down. And I took it with the new phone...not bad quality right? Anyway, the calming down. Which is good, because I feel like an absolute crazy lady right now. Irrational, every little thing annoying me, then crying because I feel guilty for being so bitchy. Or because Sister's baby shower is the day of ER and I feel like Alannis Morrisette should be playing "Ironic" in the background. I wonder if Mom will remember to check on the infertile daughter during the celebration of fertility? I wonder if I committed homicide for some little annoyance right now if they would convict? I think I could get off. See? Irrational!

The RE herself did my u/s this morning. DH had to write down numbers because I had to concentrate on breathing through the pain and discomfort. He sat close enough that I could squeeze his arm. He is trying to help me as best he can. Poor guy has an impossible task.

Helga: holding steady at a 13mm lining
Ook: 21, 18, 18, 16, 15, 15, 14, 14, 14, 13, 13, 12, 10 less than 10mm
Ig: 16, 16, 15, 15, 14, 14, 14, 14, 13, 12, 9 less than 10mm
E2: 2060
Prog: 1.6

I am not really looking at the under 10mm ones at this point, but listed them because they help explain my discomfort. I have 22 measurable follicles right now. That will continue to grow. I know this is amazing...just having a really hard time.

I have felt really detached, and all of this seems so surreal. Everything we have been going through. Everything I have been going through. And now it is all coming to a head, and I suppose I am starting to freak out a bit. I am okay, really...just...freaked. Because of the timing, the only person available to take me to retrieval is my former step-mom, and that just plain blows. DH can't go, no friends, no true family. So I am freaked. And I sound so whiny. So sorry, gang. Thank you for listening, encouraging.

I know most of this is hormones. And fear. Work tomorrow is going to be rough, I think. But maybe it will be a good distraction. I hope.

But you know what cheered me up? Charlie. His feathers are coming in like crazy, his appetite is INSANE, and I think he will be ready to release way faster than we thought. I am going to keep some birdseed around the outside while he adjusts. Right now he tries desperately to escape his temporary home, and to fly. I am simply amazed at his progress in only 48 hours! So, I am glad we saved his squawking ass...he cheers me up.

Trigger at 9:30 tonite, retrieval Saturday 9:30 am.

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  1. I am still amazed at all the follies! Good Luck! Maybe we will both have May babies!

  2. Let's face it babes every bit of this journey, except for the fun first bit, is hard. Keep going and you will get there. Hopefully I'll be joining you in crazy town soon. I can't wait! Lol x x x

  3. Awesome, awesome follie numbers. I can see why you'd be hurting so much!

    This is a sucky journey to be on, but I hope this is it for you! GL with trigger and ER!

  4. I like the picture - I'm also very curious about which phone you have (I also have a new sexy red android phone). Your follie Numbers look great, and I think all of this is hard, but you're weathering it well.

  5. First, thank you for following my blog & for commenting so often! You're replies always bring a smile to my face! I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog!

    Happy to hear you have so many follies! That's a lot of babies to be! Sorry to hear that it's coinciding with the baby shower... but just think, it's a day to celebrate not only your sister's baby to be... but YOUR little one that will be making his/her appearance in 9 months. Because this WILL work! And in a few months you will be sharing pics & details of your OWN baby shower!

    I will be thinking of you in the coming days as you have ER & ET!


  6. I'll be thinking about you and sending good thoughts this weekend! I hope that the retrieval goes well!

    Sorry to hear you are in pain. I only have two cysts and I'm in pain. All of those beautiful follies must make you uncomfortable.

  7. I'm sorry you're feeling so rough right now. The discomfort, doc visits, the emotional toll, and having to function through it all must be very overwhelming. I'm thinking of you and cheering you on!

  8. Sweet little charlie..good for him for keeping you going! I love that picture...I'm pretty sure thats a mimosa tree...we have a lot of them around here and they have all been blooming the past beautiful! Sorry to hear that you're so uncomfortable...I hope it gets better for ig and ook soon :)

  9. Those numbers look fantastic! I'm sorry somebody more comforting can't take you to the retrieval, but I hope it is a joyous (and as pain-free as possible) experience nonetheless.

  10. Hey sweetie,
    I am so sorry that you are unhappy DH can't be there for the ER. That is truly crappy timing, especially with your sister's shower as well :(
    Just remember how much I care for you and that I am here and rooting for an awesome pick up and some gorgeous embies.
    (((HUGE HUGS)))

  11. Your numbers look fantastic! Hang in there, because when the 2ww starts, things REALLY get crazy and will make this time seem like a breeze. I think it's because up to ER we get constant updates on what is going on in our bodies while during the 2ww we don't have a clue and we have to just sit there and wait. Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog and here's to both of us having cycles that rock and massive BFPs at the end!!!!


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