Monday, January 31, 2011

28 Week Ultrasound

Hi ladies!  We had an ultrasound today to check growth and my cervix. 

I am happy to report that my cervix is holding steady and has stopped funneling!  Woohoo!  At the 20 week scan it was 5 cm.  Last week it was 3.4 cm.  Same today :)  I don't know about the dilating, whether or not that has also stopped, but I imagine it has.  I have the feeling I will be heading back to work next week!

We will find that out for sure on Thursday :)  The only concern now is that 10 minutes up and about and I start contracting pretty regularly (though not as strong - probably because of the meds).  So we are spacing out my doses a bit to see what happens the next couple of days, and see what the OB says on Thurs.  My concern is that while I have a desk job, I get worn out easily, which also causes more contractions, and I don't want to have to go to the damn hospital every time they escalate.  So, we shall see.

Cricket is looking great :)  2lbs 5oz, with head firmly buried in my pelvis.  Also insanely active.  Thus, no decent pics today.  We have a couple 2D profiles, but they are not so hot, so I won't post them.    We saw her drinking!  That was pretty darn cool!  Chugging away, LOL. 

Also did the GD test today (which I may have TOTALLY biffed).  They didn't tell me not to eat anything after the drink while we waited, and it was non-fasting, so I had some Fritos.  After they did the b/w, she said, "Now you can go eat."  Ummmm....oops.  I held my mouth and am hoping I didn't blow it.  Will find out Thursday on that as well. 

The peri did mention I may need to be on thyroid meds permanently, as they see that a lot.  Even though before I was pregnant I had no issues.  *Sigh*  Oh, well.

Hubby has also stated that even if I am released to go to work I am still banned from doing anything at home.  LOL.  We'll see how long that lasts!  Ha!

So, anywho, good news, and will have more to report in a few days. 

Thank you all SO much for all the well wishes :)  It has meant so much to me! 

Oh!  And someone mentioned wanting to see the tattoo BEFORE I swallowed a basketball, so Saturday I will do my best to remember to post a before and current picture for you :)  Also of the one on my belly and how that has grown/changed. 

Saturday, January 29, 2011


*Sorry for the slightly odd layout.  I had an argument with my laptop, LOL.

How far along: 28 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of a head of cauliflower! Approximately 16 inches, 2.5-2.8 lbs. Cricket is dreaming these days :)  I hope hers are better than mine!
Total Weight Gain: 30 lbs - at 143.8 this morning.

Maternity clothes: Some of the shorter shirts are too short now! I sort of exploded again this week.

Sleep: I go to bed around 10:30 and stay there until 9-ish.  HOWEVER. I am up every 1.5-2 hours to pee, get over a nightmare, and wipe the sweat off.
Movement: We seem to have moved into a 2 hour pattern.  2 hours awake, 2 hours asleep.  And the movements are less Jiffy Pop and more Alien.  It's fun to watch :)

27 weeks 2 days
Cravings/Aversions: Cravings: Seafood.  Jello.  Aversions: Red meat.

Sex: I'm no longer allowed...Cricket is still a secret!

Symptoms: Heartburn and acid reflux have kicked in with a VENGEANCE.  I threw up Tums this morning.  Who does that?  LOL.  Attributed to the procardia: uber vivid dreams, night sweats, pounding heart, fatigue.  Also a rather constant pressure in my lower abdomen...worse near med time. 

What I miss: Sleeping on my belly. As getting cozy gets more difficult, I miss that option more and more. Sex.
What I look forward to: Ultrasound on Monday. Belly button poppage (it's getting quite shallow!)

Moods: that a mood?

28 weeks even
Milestones: I will consider any week without the hospital a milestone, LOL.


Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis, preterm labor, funneling cervix. Ready for the list? Syn.throid 50 mcg, 100 mg, Iron, D3, D2, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Tylenol 3 for the migraines, Procardia for preterm labor .

Weekly Wisdom: It's okay to ask for help.

Best moment this week: We got the baby shower invite today!  They are sooooo cute!
Worst moment this week:  Realizing how limited I am right now.  I am actually hoping to be able to go back to work...and I despise my job. 

Tattoo happiness!

Our Shower Invite!!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Hey! I'm Stylish!

And here I was thinking I wouldn't have anything interesting to blog about this week (let's face it, bedrest is BORING).

And then my dear Lauren gifted me with this award!  Thank you sweetie!

The Rules:

* Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.

* Share 7 things about yourself.

* Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers. (well, I'll try...)

* Make sure you contact these bloggers to let them know about the award.

Here's my 7 things:
  1. I got my first body piercing when I was 17 by doctoring my birth certificate.  It was my belly button, and it didn't heal right, and my mom found out and got the poor woman who did it fired.  Oops.
  2. I would be totally happy being a travelling hippie.  Which is illogical given how much STUFF I have.  Books, movies, yarn, just....STUFF.  And animals.  Somewhere in my brain the wires got crossed.
  3. I am scared of elevators.  And heights.  And motorcycles.  And WalMart.  And Spongebob.
  4. I am a total sucker for chick flicks.  Just give me a box of tissues and I will happily sob all night long.
  5. Caramel Delite cookies are DA BOMB.  I usually eat enough to make me sick to my stomach, and then crave nothing but fruit juice the rest of the day.
  6. My most common dreams (the night-time sleeping kind) involve me being naked and/or flying.  These are in no way related to my nightmares, which tend to feature serial killers and the worst work day or family outing ever. 
  7. Thunderstorms turn me on.  In more ways than one.  I love them.  LOVE them.  LOVE THEM.  We might get thundersnow tonight (others near us are) and I am soooo hoping we get it! 
15 Bloggers who I nominate!  (If you've already been nominated, too darn bad, LOL)
  1. Lynn at Wistfulgirl's World
  2. Kristi at Our Miracle In The Making
  3. Erica at Surviving the Secondary Infertility Madness
  4. Mr. Thompson and Me at Viva la Vida!
  5. Cherbear at In A Nutshell
  6. Amber at Life: Chats and Rants
  7. Michele at My Life After Loss
  8. Andrea at Are You Listening?
  9. Jess at When The Music Fades
Alright, so that's only 9.  Get over it, LOL.  Nominate thyself :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex

I like sex.  I mean, I REALLY like sex.  A lot of it.  So finding out that sex couldn't get me pregnant was kind of funny.  In fact, I got pregnant by NOT having sex.  Ahhhh, irony. 

But let's back up.

The human body is designed to ENJOY sex in order to perpetuate the species.  Because with our "highly developed" brains, we might not get around to it otherwise.  We needed motivation, and so we evolved with the awesome creation of THE ORGASM.  (And for those who have difficulties in this area, you have NO idea how sorry I am for you!)

So, for someone like me who is hornier than a lot of men I know, the irony that all this fun led to years of wasted birth control is not lost on me.  But the irony does not stop there. 

The very sex that (usually) causes pregnancy is now something that can cause UNpregnancy.  *SNORT, GASP, GIGGLE*  So, what we NOW have is that sex did not cause pregnancy in me.  However, it CAN cause pregnancy to end. 

I am sensing a serious design flaw here. 

At least I got in 5 months of fun before the fun had to stop.  I have entirely too many friends also on the No Sex bench who have been banned the whole pregnancy, and for those who did IVF, longer.  And then after baby comes - 6 more weeks!  What?!?!?!  And so, to my bedrest babes, I say, "Hang in there.  And plan a hotel trip for 6 weeks after baby is born."  Because I plan on getting down and dirty and LOUD.  LOL. 

I lied.  Let's NOT talk about sex.  My goal is now to NOT THINK ABOUT IT.  Because thinking gets the wobbly bits all worked up and then I am up shit creek without a paddle, so to speak.  These hormones are totally wasted on me.  All the additional blood flow, engorgement...oh, the possibilities!  Bye bye wobbly bits.  I shall miss you. 

RIP, Orgasm.  Be ready for a wake-up call in a few months! 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Late Christmas Photos (it's a start)

I have tons to post now that I have a laptop, but these were already on FB and easily accessible.  I think bumps should stick around after baby is born because it makes such a lovely place to hold baby!  This is me with my niece.

Monday, January 24, 2011

De Nile

For 6 months I have been floating in a haze of denial.  Of surrealistic reality.  It took a while to really understand what this pregnancy meant.  What the AFTER meant.  That the accumulating piles of baby things meant that someday soon we would be PARENTS to a real child. 

Even feeling movement, seeing the ultrasounds, seeing my baby inside my womb...still...surreal.  I thought the reality had hit.  I was wrong. 

Even going into labor Friday night, going to the hospital, seeing what my body was failing so obviously at.  I thought reality had hit.  I was wrong.

Even hearing the news about WiseGuy, about Lola.  Breaking down in fear, in disbelief, being overcome with what we may be facing.  I thought reality had hit.  I was wrong.

Even being put on bedrest, having a hard time being vertical for very long because of the meds, knowing that every move I make has to be monitored.  I thought reality had hit.  I was wrong.

Before we left the hospital yesterday morning we visited the NICU.  To derive some comfort knowing that if Cricket arrives before planned that she will be cared for, that all will be okay.  We saw these itty bitty tiny babies, took home the tiniest diapers I have ever seen (newborn diapers are GIGANTIC in proportion). 

We saw a baby that was Cricket's size almost 3 weeks ago, now.  And one a bit bigger than where she probably is right now.  I couldn't even visibly tell the difference.  The 2nd baby shares Cricket's middle name if she is a actually a she.  They are so small.  So unbelievably small. 

That's when reality hit.  Those babies, that's what my child looks like.  That's what size she is.  That's how real she is.  She's not this idea in my head, this bump in my belly, the alien making my belly jump like Jiffy-Pop.  She is a flesh-and-bone reality.  She looks like those little tiny humans. 

She is not an image on a screen, a number of weeks and days.  She is not a dream anymore.  She is not something we have time to prepare for, or something we CAN prepare for.  Not really.  She is reality, a tiny human, who will soon be our responsibility.  Our reason for waking and sleeping and bringing home the bacon.  We saw her.  We saw how very REAL she is.

And now, I'm not in denial.

But then I realize I am.  Because despite the guilt I feel about my body failing my child, that my husband has to do EVERYTHING now, I still have a hard time wrapping my head around where we are right now.

I think, "The danger has passed, we stopped the contractions, I feel well.  2 weeks (or more)!  Think of all I could get done!"  And then I remember the fear.  And that I'm scared to stand for too long.  That I will be going grocery shopping in a wheelchair later, to be safe.  That every move I make could put Cricket in danger.  And it doesn't seem real.  That we could be here.  That after my body failed me in being able to conceive naturally, that it could also rob me of my idyllic summer maternity leave, of my natural childbirth, of my trust that complications in pregnancy don't happen in my family. 

How is this real?  How can any of us survive what we survive and then face the next hurdle?  Why? 

And why am I unable to wrap my head around it all the way?  Why do I feel removed from it?  Is that self-preservation?  And yet, at the same time, how can I feel so overwhelmed, yet positive?  Because it could be worse.  I know that.  Why this mix of emotions?  I really don't know.

Excuse me while I go float down De Nile.  It is, after all, a river in Egypt.

Dear Baby #6

Dear Cricket,

I'm going to be honest.  Your mama has had a hard week.  Emotionally, physically...and I am going to be honest about it.

Last Monday I came down with a cold, and it made me extra weepy.  And I began worrying that my nerves, my anxiety, my depression, the family history would affect you.  And that scares me.  It scares me that I could affect you with my behavior.  It scares me that you could have the same issues.  But, I remember that the generations have gotten better and better...that with education and self-awareness we learn our own triggers.  That I can know enough to keep us okay, to be a good mom to you. 

Which brings me to the 2nd fear.  The reality of YOU became very real to me that day.  I don't know why that just is.  Your dad and I spent a lot of time making you happen...and for so long, the goal was pregnancy.  We managed that.  But you are going to be a real baby in our arms, perhaps sooner than we planned, and that means we are responsible for you, all of you, from now until forever.  And that reality is, quite honestly, a little frightening.  To know that any mistakes from now on affect YOU, not just me.  I can't just brush them off.  And I'm not explaining this well.  I just got overwhelmed by the sheer weight of you, that you won't be this ... idea.  You will be real, and dependent, and ours.  And that is, without a doubt, the most powerful responsibility I have ever had.  And I really don't want to mess it up.  I promise you, my sweet Cricket, that I will do what I can to be the best mom possible to you.  Will I make mistakes?  Yes.  But I will do my best.

And then Friday happened.  I made you a promise to be the best mom I can be, and now my body may fail you before you are even old enough to understand.  The good news is that you are far enough along that you have a 94% chance of survival NOW, and with each week that increases.  To keep my promise I am going to take my medicine, and take it VERY easy - and find someone to help your dad and I get the house ready for you.  No arguing with doctors, caution rules the land now.  I want you to stay inside as long as possible.  Please.  And there's a chance my body will hang on for as long as it takes.  But there is also the chance it won't.  Whenever you arrive, you will be well-cared for.  By the nurses, by the doctors, by me, by your are loved, you are wanted, you are precious. 


Sunday, January 23, 2011

*UPDATED* Paying It Forward & Update

Kristin at Dragondreamer's Lair is putting together a memorial for Lola, to let Wise Guy know we are all here for her.  So check out her post for the plan.  Please go do this.  Wise Guy needs us, and has been there for so many of us in our journeys.  Time to pay it forward ladies.

I am going to be brutally honest.  I didn't make it past that news yesterday.  I couldn't read anyone's blogs.  I couldn't risk coming across more bad news.  So please, please understand if I don't comment for a few days while I wrap my head around things.  But the meltdown I had yesterday I can't risk.  One of the best things I can do right now is stay calm.

My mom commented that she was surprised how well I was handling things.  I pointed out that she just hadn't heard me lose it.  But oh, did I.  The shift nurse came in and got me calmed down, and later had the NICU nurse come over and talk to me.  Before I leave I will be heading over to see the LOs over there.  Specifically to see one about Cricket's size, and a bit older (since she isn't coming out yet) to hopefully give me some peace of mind about potentially delivering pre-term.  I am not going alone...that much I've determined.  So whomever is my ride home will be with me.  I'd love for that to be Hubby, but with work, I am realistic.

So, update.  By about 8 last night the contractions tapered off.  It's 4 am - just had another small one.  But    I finally crashed and got a whopping 5 hours of sleep.  But my brain has turned back on.  I'm not even sure what all I told you guys yesterday regarding a plan - I am that out of it. 

I met with the Perinatologist in the afternoon, and they postponed my cervix check until before I leave today to space out the checks as much as possible and hopefully prevent any more trauma.  I will be staying on the Procardia, and may be able to space out doses, depending on how my body reacts to being less restricted than I am in here.  Basically, if there has been no change in my cervix since Friday night, I go home with severe restrictions, but not actual bed rest.  I will be able to work for the time being, with the knowledge that things could change. 

I don't know if this will now mean weekly OB visits or what.  Guess we shall see.  Hubby is not going to let me move a finger.  I would be willing to bet that if we go to the grocery store he plops me in a wheelchair.  I'm trying not to think of the work I need to get done at home.  My sisters, friends, mom are very much going to be chipping in and helping me ... um, I hope, LOL. 

Okay, as I was writing the Resident came in and did a check.  No real change that they can tell (being that there were 2 different examiners) so we will see what the OB says later - but I will almost definitely have more frequent checks either at the OB or with Peri. With this news, though, I am expecting to be released with the restrictions and work.  I will let you know if this changes.

Are we out of the woods? Nope. Could things be worse? Absolutely. As far as shortened, funneling cervices go, and preterm labor, we are in a good place. My cervix was nice and long (5cm) to begin with, and was somewhere between 3 and 4 cm when I was admitted. So, yes, we have to watch it, but we've got some room to play with. As long as we keep contractions to 4 or less per hour (I'm sure they may kick back up a notch when I'm not in bed constantly), they will be happy for now. Am I scared? Hell yeah. Am I grateful that this is happening now instead of earlier? Yup. Is there a chance I could go all the way? Yes, but no one seems to think that right now. We are hoping for 35 weeks. It would be nice to actually be pregnant at my shower.  And at 35 weeks we stand an amazing shot of not needing the NICU for more than a couple of days.  So, 8 more's hoping. 

Thanks for the support gang, and I will be back to commenting soon.  I just need to get myself to a place where I can stay calm and focused.  I love you all.


Spoke with the OB and I will be out of work for 2 weeks right now.  Before I am due to go back I will follow up with them and see what the plan is from there.  Not strict bed rest, but limited to doing what I need to do to eat, shower, etc.  Stay away from excessive stairing. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

27w0d - 3rd Trimester!

Before I tell you MY news, please, please, please, take a moment and head over and visit Wise Guy.  She needs us.  She has lost her beautiful Lola, and was not even told for 6 days.  I am a weeping mess.  this is so, so sad. 

Well, ladies, I have a hell of a story for you. 

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling well enough to attempt a trip out and see how I did.  Colliwog and I were both craving a haircut, so we headed to the mall.  After haircut I was a bit nauseated (blood sugar) and having BH every 10 minutes or so.  Which wasn't too bad.  It happens and then goes away. 

We continued walking around, just checking out and drooling in a couple of stores, nothing hardcore.  Contractions started getting stronger, closer together (all of this happened in about an HOUR).  By the end of that hour, they were coming every 2-3 minutes.  So I called the doctor, who wanted me checked in L&D. 

Issue:  I drove.  Colliwog can't drive.  I seriously would have driven, but C basically vetoed that and had security called.  Let me tell you, nothing like a woman in pre-term labor to bring out the forces.  I swear there were something like 8 security guards in 3 different uniforms calling 3 different people.  With people gawking.  This is when I got worried.  And freaking out a bit.  So C is answering questions and I'm trying to be okay, and the ambulance comes.

At this point contractions have backed off to about 3-5 minute intervals, and we arrive and get ushered straight up to maternity triage.  I am promptly hooked up to fetal and uterine monitors.  Cricket thinks this whole thing is FUN and is kicking the crap out of the monitors.  Contractions are 3 minutes apart like clockwork at this point.  Hubby has not arrived yet.  I'm trying to call my mom and they're trying to do an internal.

Findings were that my cervix was 1 cm dilated.  Not too big of a deal.  Bigger deal?  Every time I contract my cervix funnels.  It shouldn't be doing that at this point.  No way.  So I get admitted, which is right about when Hubby shows up. 

So, they put me on Procardia to slow down the contractions (makes my head hurt, icky icky icky), and order steroids to help develop Cricket's lungs in case.  And do a swab for an fFN Test.  Until that I was not allowed food OR water.  Contractions responded to the meds, and began slowing down. 

Steroids went in, and the test came back NEGATIVE, which was the best news all day!  They let me eat, and then I FREAKED OUT.  Full panic finally set in and I shook and cried. 

Today the contractions are down to about 3-4 an hour on the meds, and not as strong, as long as I'm keeping fairly still.  My mom commented about how calm I've been.'s all outside.  I'm spazzed, but it is not going to help me to freak out.  Spoke with perinatology, and as long as my cervix has not dilated anymore I am sticking around for the 2nd steroid shot and going home tomorrow.  Still on the Procardia.  NOT on bedrest, but very limited.  No exercise, no lifting, no sex (or orgasm) until 35-36 weeks, if I make it that long.  We have another u/s with Peri next week and see how I'm doing.  The goal is to keep the contractions at 4 or fewer per hour, and I can still work.  At least, if my cervix is okay.  So I will update you when I know more, most likely tomorrow. 

Anyway, good news is Cricket is doing well with NST's and is not coming out, not yet.  Hopefully not soon.  I'm now High Risk, but my goal is to cook this kiddo as long as possible.  Fingers crossed.

Now for the survey.


How far along: 27 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of an cucumber! Approximately 15 inches, 2-2.5 lbs. The taste buds have formed.  3rd trimester begins! 

Total Weight Gain: I  was at around 141 lbs on Thursday at Dr. Family's office. 

Maternity clothes: Of course!
Sleep: In bed by 10:30 usually, not up until 8:30 or 9 most days. Insanity.

Movement: Yesterday morning I got kicked in the ribs way on the right side at the same time I got punched in the cervix.  Guess who's growing!
Cravings/Aversions: Cravings: I was sick most of the week, so nothing much this week.  Aversions: Red meat.

Sex: I'm no longer allowed...Cricket is still a secret!
Symptoms: Ahem, read above.
What I miss: Sleeping on my belly. As getting cozy gets more difficult, I miss that option more and more. But really? That's it :)

What I look forward to: Making it as long as possible so that maternity leave is spent with Cricket in the summer as opposed to in the NICU.
Moods: Overwhelmed, nervous, calm on the surface.
Milestones: Third trimester is cool! 
Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis, preterm labor, funneling cervix. Ready for the list? Syn.throid 50 mcg, 100 mg, Iron, D3, D2, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Tylenol 3 for the migraines, Procardia for preterm labor, 2 big steroid shots to mature Cricket's lungs.

Weekly Wisdom: Maintain a sense of humor or lose your mind. 
Best moment this week: Negative FFN test.

Worst moment this week:  Really?  I'd like to mulligan this week.  Absolute worst was freaking out in the mall and feeling like a circus sideshow f reak.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers: Sick Bed Edition

Wow, it's Friday?  How?????
  • Colliwog is here for an undetermined length of time...trying not to spazz.  Twitch.  Nursery needs so much done!  Twitch.
  • Who spends a week in bed with a COLD???  Seriously? At least I've turned the corner and am starting to feel human again.  Yay!
  •  House needs so much work.  Twitch.
  • Brand new freezer does not, in fact, freeze.  Food lost.  Stink central.  Grrr.  Repairs to happen today, or they must replace.
  • I need a haircut.  I hate growing my hair. And a new color.  I'm bored and uninspired by my shag.  Suggestions, please?
  • Planning a day trip to NYC with a friend in Boston - meeting in the middle.  Can't wait!  And maybe this trip to NH will happen some weekend.  I hope.  As it means pregnancy photos!  Grow belly grow!
  • Surfers arriving in 2 weeks.  Must. Find. Floor. Space.
  • Frog and Pixie gave us 3 boxes of diapers.  3.  BOXES.  Apparently their LO is allergic.  Ummm, he can't even face me at work, yet we keep getting things from them.  So confusing.  Sigh.  Need normal life.  Wait, that's boring.  Retract.
  • I watched this season of Grey's Anatomy this week.  Bad when hormonal and sick.  Because sick makes me even weepier.  Glutton for punishment. 
  • The family doctor weighed me for the chart there because it's been so long.  Me: "You do realize I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant and this will be wildly inaccurate, right?'
  • I got paint for the changing table and dresser!  Now, if I only had somewhere to actually apply said paint...and boy is it BRIGHT.  Wait til you see!
  • Baby shower is under way.  Met with Mom Sunday - she and Sister are in full planning mode.  Invites are ordered and apparently arrived yesterday.  Woot!  My wedding didn't even have paper invites, LOL.  Either one of them. 
  • What did we ever do without OMG, LMAO, LMFAO, ROFL, etc?  I mean, really, typing is so much faster with acronyms.  Though I see some I can't identify.  Like SMH.  ????  And I finally had to ask what FML was...and it turns out there is an entire website dedicated to that one! 
  • You'd think I'd get some crocheting done while sick.  NOPE.  Maybe if I feel better tomorrow.  Yeeeaaaahhhhh.
  • I finally watched Victor/Victoria - and I totally got a boner for Julie Andrews.  HOT.
Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

How Does This Happen???

***Warning!!  This is an incredibly graphic and horrific article regarding late-term abortions.  Proceed with caution.***

Before getting to the actual article, I want to mention that I am in fact Pro-choice.  That does not, however, change the fact that what happened at this "clinic" is completely and utterly WRONG and UNFORGIVABLE.  And what is even worse, happened over many, many years.  It's simply NOT RIGHT, and right now, I'm feeling sheepish to be from the state in which this was allowed to continue.  I'm sorry for my home state right now.

 Horror Story

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

How Many Tissues...

...does it take to get to the center of my sinuses? 

So far?  2 boxes of kleenex and half a roll of toilet paper.  Since yesterday.  That's not counting Monday.  Or Sunday.  Blah.

But today I didn't feel like I was going to pass out every 30 seconds, so for the last 8 hours I have been reading blogs.  I am CAUGHT UP.  Though I may not have commented on them all, I made it through 6 days worth of blogs.  Ha.  Take that. 

And I officially cannot sneeze or blow my nose anymore, so you're going to have to just knock me out until this damn thing passes and let it all drain out onto towels or something.  Because I need to eat.  And sleep. 

And write. 

Saturday, January 15, 2011



How far along: 26 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of an eggplant! Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes. (*This will apparently remain the same info for a few weeks now as she gains weight and actual development slows down).

Total Weight Gain: 140.6 this morning, an even 27 lbs. Same as last week - I seem to have hit a plateau.  Overall weight gain the last 6 weeks has been only 3 lbs.  So I went from 2 lbs a week to 1/2 a lb.  Now I'm worrying in the opposite direction, LOL.  I assume it's all going to Cricket at this point.

Maternity clothes: Totally splurged on more happy pants from Mother.hood.  Goodness I love those pants.
Stretch marks: Hip and thigh ones are flaring up from puberty.

Sleep: In bed by 10:30 usually, not up until 8:30 or 9 most days.  Insanity.
Movement: I can't identify some of the movements.  Maybe rolls?  Who knows.  Most is still below the belly button.  Cricket, you have more room!!!

Cravings/Aversions: Cravings: Last night I wanted a pizza with cheese, refried beans, shrimp, scrambled eggs, and cottage cheese.  And salsa.  LOL.  Aversions: Please don't even MENTION red meat.

Sex: Still a secret, muah!

Symptoms: Let's see, I had a random asthma attack Tuesday that scared the shit out of me.  I haven't had one in YEARS, and they have always been exercise induced.  Eeep.  All is well, though.  Turns out the coughing leads to puking, though, LOL.

What I miss: Sleeping on my belly. As getting cozy gets more difficult, I miss that option more and more. But really? That's it :)

What I look forward to: The belly getting all hard and sticking out REALLY far. LOL. Next u/s :)

Moods: Shitting rainbows!

Milestones: Graduated from Pancho after just over 12 weeks.  I saw light stream from the clouds and heard children's choirs singing.  Well, it was exciting anyway, LOL.  Cricket can now open and shut her eyes.  Coolio!

Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis. Ready for the list? Syn.throid 50 mcg, 100 mg, Iron, D3, D2, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Tylenol 3 for the migraines.

**Thyroid results came in at .8-ish!  Woohoo!  So, staying on the same dose.  Go go gadget thyroid!**

Weekly Wisdom: Wii Fit body test is wildly inaccurate when one is pregnant.  Hysterical.  Even funnier, my BMI and weight are still within normal range (barely) for someone my height.  Yeah, I was really skinny before.

Best moment this week: My friend's 4-year old putting her hands on my belly, looking up and saying, "Boy or girl?" with a look of wonder on her face.  Later she told her mommy, "Genevieve is a very beautiful mommy."  Weep.

Worst moment this week: Well, the fall kinda sucked.  So did the asthma attack.  But all is well in baby-land :)

Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers

Time for some bullet-point lovin!
  • A dear old friend is staying with us for a couple months, Colliwog, and my house is even worse. I need Mary Poppins. Seriously. Help!
  • The Malibu (Goldie) had to be repaired after some electrical stuff blew and smoke came out of the dashboard. Ick. Could have been worse :)
  • I don't know how I'm going to keep up with blogging post-Cricket. With all the ones I read now, it's going to be difficult. It's difficult now! And forget the Creme! I barely got started on that. Cricket's blanet and Niece's sweater haven't been touched in days and my house is a disaster. Any ideas on time management???
  • 99 days of pregnancy left, 99 days of pregnancy.  Make it through one, there it goes, 98 days of pregnancy left...It's going too fast!
  • My house is totally baby land - more donations arrived yesterday - man, I'd better have a girl, LOL. 
  • I am feeling SEXY!  I want to shake my booty and show off this bod.  Ummm, I didn't feel this way when I was skinny.  It's a rather interesting feeling, and I dig it!  I could be round like this FOREVER!!! 
  • I am having a HELL of a time remembering/finding photos every day for the other page.  Sigh.  So, some days I double up.  Eeep.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The New Me

Aly redid my blog for me...what do you think????  She can be found at Bridge Work Blog Design.

I am THRILLED with my new design!


Check out Aly, she's awesomesauce :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Really Should Know Better

So, we all know I'm accident prone.  Remember the 3 falls in May/June that pushed back our cycle?  I have been soooo good through this pregnancy to be careful, and have only had 2 very minor falls. 

This morning I HAD to get a couple pictures of the snow.  I left early to be sure the roads were okay, and stopped at a small park down the road from work.  There is a canal there, and I CAREFULLY walked up the wide park steps to take a couple photos. 

After taking said photos, I started walking back down.  I proceeded to step on something wrong, twist my ankle, hit the ground, lose my balance, and roll down a couple of stairs.  In the snow.  Without gloves.  With my new replacement phone that works.  LMAO. 

Good news?  Phone and baby are fine (I'm a skilled "faller" - I protect what I need to).  Bad news?  Oh, man, am I already sore: back, left knee, right ankle, both hips.  LOL.  Go me. 

Pants were pretty damp, so off to Target for the most expensive pair of leggings EVER.  And you know what?  The pictures aren't even all that terribly good. 

I really should know better.

Monday, January 10, 2011


So, we have been working on a settlement for Hubby's back injury for months.  And the check came and went into the account Saturday.  Don't even ask me how much of it is already spent, LOL. 

We paid off 3 credit cards, 4 people we owed money to, and then we went shopping...

And we got:
  • Refrigerator (no freezer)
  • Chest freezer (small, not body-hiding size)
  • Netbook/laptop for yours truly
  • Wii for yours truly (honestly, so I can watch Netflix, and later, for WiiFit)
  • TV/Monitor for Hubby for the "Man Cave"
  • Hard drive so his computer works
  • dehumidifier so the man-cave is electronic-safe
  • Vacuum of Awesomeness - eats pet fur like it's nothing.  I can't wait to find my floor so I can really vacuum!
  • some clothing for both of us.
  • 2003 Subaru Outback.  - Hubby gets to drive this and I am soooo jealous because it is FABULOUS! 
Up next: pay off a couple of my credit cards and make a dent in some medical bills, and hopefully still have about $15000 left over in the bank to build interest. 

Oh, and baby stuff that doesn't get taken care of by the shower.  And some yard stuff.  And another chair for the living room. 

Hmmm, I hope we have $15000 left, LOL.  That's the plan.  We have already blown aLOT.  Well, not blown, just...gone a little nuts catching up on broken appliances and whatnot. 

I can't believe how much got spent this weekend, in 2 short days!  Insanity. 

And my goodness, that car is sooooo purty.  I need to decorate the Malibu so I don't feel frumpy, LOL. 

Anyway, had to share, LOL.  Cuz I'm kinda giddy.  LOL.

OH!!!!  And I was officially discharged from Pancho today!!!  Squeeeeeeee! 

Love Song

I was relaxing a bit yesterday morning, watching my belly jump and jiggle, and the following song came on my iPod. It is one of my favorite all time songs, and I will be singing it to my Cricket.  I am dedicating it to my babe.  I was unable to find full lyrics, so you will have to listen.  It is called "Sometimes" and it is by Sweet Honey In The Rock.  Enjoy :)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

11 Step Parenting Program

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
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Saturday, January 8, 2011



How far along: 25 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of an eggplant! Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes. (*This will apparently remain the same info for a few weeks now as she gains weight and actual development slows down).
Total Weight Gain: 140.6 this morning, an even 27 lbs.  It has been between 26 and 27 lbs all week.  Cricket is obviously taking on much of the nourishment now.
Maternity clothes: Can't live without 'em! I think all pants should have nice thick elastic waists. Holiday dinners and visits to the buffet would be so much more comfortable!

Stretch marks: Hip and thigh ones are flaring up from puberty.

Sleep: Depends :) I toss and turn a lot, and with as much as I get up to tinkle, if I get 3 hours straight it's cause for celebration!

Movement: I think the movement is even better than the heartbeat, but that's just me. It's something I can feel every day to know life is good in there. And with our little monitor, we can hear the kicks!

Cravings/Aversions: Cravings: Big soft sugar cookies, cherry cordial Hershey Kisses, jello, applesauce, and Robert Downey Jr. (Hey, the body wants what the body wants!)  Aversions:  Please don't even MENTION red meat.
Sex: Okay, so, speaking of sex (no, we still didn't find out Cricket's wobbly bits), it seems pregnancy has given me the ability to do something I never have before.  ***TMI WARNING!!!*** The other night I was having some, ahhh, "personal" time, and when I orgasmed, I felt a rush of fluid.  Commence freaking out!  No blood, smelled like water...hmmm, did I ejaculate???  Asked a friend who does, we weren't sure.  Cricket was fine, still moving, etc.  Same thing a couple nights later...yup, I now squirt.  Though I haven't replicated it with a partner at this point. 
Symptoms: Nothing new :)  Except the above. 
What I miss: Sleeping on my belly. As getting cozy gets more difficult, I miss that option more and more. But really? That's it :)

What I look forward to:  The belly getting all hard and sticking out REALLY far.  LOL.
Moods: I am on Cloud 9. Seriously. I am flying, couldn't be happier, lalalala, I don't even recognize myself!

Milestones: I am on my 4th day straight without Pancho!  Holy moly!  Still carrying him with me in case, but so far, mostly good!
Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis. Ready for the list? Syn.throid 50 mcg, 100 mg, Zo.fran pump, Iron, D3, D2, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, no more prenatals, Bene.fiber, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Tylenol 3 for the migraines.

Weekly Wisdom: No matter how late I am in the morning, EAT, even if it's only toast.  Otherwise, I can't get over the blood sugar loss, and I get pretty sick (yesterday was a bad day!) If I am going to be Pancho-free, I need to manage myself better.

Best moment this week:  Seeing Cricket again.  It's so cool seeing her ahead of time!
Worst moment this week: Making myself sick yesterday, knowing it was my own fault that nearly put me back in the ER.  Lesson learned!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

24 Week Ultrasound

First of all, sorry for no comments the past couple of days...I am a little behind.  I'll catch up!

Anywho, today we had Cricket's echocardiogram and a growth check.  And she cooperated considerably better for photos :)  Yay! 

First the heart:  She passed with flying colors!  Textbook heart right where it should be.  Woohoo! 

Second: She is dead on measuring at 24w4d, and weighing in at 1.5lbs.  She couldn't be doing more perfectly if she tried :)  She kept kicking the wand...thought it was a game, LOL. She is also head down right now. 

Third:  Because we are IVF patients it turns out we get an ultrasound every 4 weeks, so 3 more before delivery!  Me?  Not complaining AT ALL!!!

And now for the pictures! 

Look, I have a cute nose! 

Hiding behind my hands telling someone a secret :)

This is the most precious face EVER!

I am so in love with this face already :)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Dear Baby #5

Dearest Cricket,

Wow!  It's been over a month since I've written to you.  I talk to you all the time, though.  Especially when you kick the Exit Door, ahem.  YOU AREN'T COMING OUT YET! 

The exciting news is that if you DID come out now, you would have a chance at survival (and bankruptcy for me and Dad, LOL).  But it is of no end of relief to me to have met this milestone.  You assert your strength more and more everyday, from kicks to just plain draining my energy.  You take it all :)  It's good training for when you arrive, though.

Even though you are in there, it was still sort of your first Christmas, and you made out pretty well :)  It was so much fun to open gifts addressed to you.  It makes your impending arrival that much more real to us, and a bit scary as well, but in a good way :)

Since I last wrote, we have been able to feel your kicks with a hand on my belly, AND see your kicks!  We can't really watch you move yet, but seeing my belly jump makes us both giggle.  And with the little monitor we bought, we can HEAR you move in my belly, though we can't use it for your heartbeat yet.  Still, wicked cool.  You really are in there, growing, changing, preparing to be a live child in our arms.

Tomorrow we will be making sure your heart is in good condition, and I can't wait to get another look at you :)  Since I've stopped gaining weight, I imagine you are getting bigger and bigger in there...I even felt your foot yesterday!  So weird and amazing all at the same time. 

Cricket, I have never been this happy, I don't think.  Even my insomnia is worth it.  When I'm unable to sleep at night, your dad snoring, your fur-brother grunting and wiggling on the bed, I lie there with my hand on you, feeling you exercise the night away.  It is time for just you and me, and truth be told, I'm going to miss it soooo much when you are in my arms.  Which will be just as wonderful, but right now, you are all mine, and I treasure these days more than you know.  Maybe someday you will know the same feeling...

I love you.


Monday, January 3, 2011

Meet and Greet!

Calling all Eastern Pa/NJ girls!  Some of us have been discussing a get-together, if y'all would like!  That includes the Philly gang, of which there are quite a few. So spread the word! 

Sundays are honestly the only day I can really do it.  I thought about what would be semi-central for everyone, and thought perhaps New Hope would be a fun place to meet up?  I know it's the dead of winter, but, meh, does that bother anyone too much? 

So, think about it, let me know days, etc, ideas, ANYTHING, and we can start getting this train rolling! 

Email me at kakunaa at gmail dot com, make sure I know who you are, which blog, etc, so I can figure you all out (sometimes the names don't stick, but the blog names do!). 

It's time we met face to face and had a gang of ladies we can lean on in person if need be!  Also, I know that I'm now in the KU category, so if this will not make you comfortable, I completely understand.  But if you are interested, please let me know!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

24w0d - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

23w0d - no, that's not my belly button, that
is Pancho's injection site.
Well, my dears, 2011 is upon us!  Can you believe it?  I know for many of us 2010 will go down in the record books as sucking hairy donkey balls.  Seriously.  But it's a NEW YEAR, and the future is wide open!  Uh-oh, I feel a Tom Petty song coming on!  I wish for nothing but the best for all of you, my dears, and I hope that for those of you still TTC, that this is THE YEAR.  That 2011 brings you your dreams and wishes and peace.  I hope that joy and sorrow share more of a balance this year.  Happy New Year.

As for resolutions?  I have some ... the usual.  The one that means the most to me, though, is that I am going to take at least 1 photo a day, and it will go onto my other blog.  EVERY DAY.  So, while they may not all be artsy, they will be a photo journal of my life.  I also plan on starting a blog just for Cricket.  I will send most of these weekly updates and letters to it, and once Cricket is born, it will be a place for letters to her/him, to chronical her life, something for her to have when she's older to see. 


How far along: 24 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of a papaya! Watch what you say -- baby is now able to hear outside noise from down in the womb. Studies show that baby finds gentle music and your own voice most soothing. Nipples are starting to sprout, and that little face is fully formed. And, baby's starting to settle into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop.10.5-11.8 inches; 12.7-20.8 oz. (*This will apparently remain the same info for a few weeks now as she gains weight and actual development slows down).

Total Weight Gain:  139.8 lbs as of Friday morning (no computer access Saturday this week!) - so have been hovering around 140 for a couple weeks now, working on balancing out that hospital weight.  That puts me at 27 lbs or so, which makes me feel MUCH better :)

Maternity clothes: Can't live without 'em!  I think all pants should have nice thick elastic waists.  Holiday dinners and visits to the buffet would be so much more comfortable!

Stretch marks: Hip and thigh ones are flaring up from puberty.

Sleep:  Depends :)  I toss and turn a lot, and with as much as I get up to tinkle, if I get 3 hours straight it's cause for celebration! 

I wasn't going to have internet access
today, so I took this early, 23w5d, there's
the belly!  I should post the original tattoo
pics so you can see the difference.  I think
I will when I get further along :)
Movement:  I think the movement is even better than the heartbeat, but that's just me.  It's something I can feel every day to know life is good in there.  And with our little monitor, we can hear the kicks! 

Cravings/Aversions: Oddly, my appetite is not nearly what it was in the beginning, and I often cannot figure out what it is I want to eat.  It's like a game...what does Genevieve want to eat today???  Last few days I am on a KitKat kick.  Mmmm, healthy.  LOL.

Sex:  MY sex drive has returned after a hiatus!  The baby better not be having any yet!   Haven't had the birds and the bees talk yet!

Symptoms:  Rings are officially off.  I got tired of finding a place to put them midway through the day.  Fatigue.  I cannot get enough sleep.  I am REALLY tired most of the day. 

What I miss:  Sleeping on my belly.  As getting cozy gets more difficult, I miss that option more and more.  But really?  That's it :) 

What I look forward to:  Next ultrasound!  And the day that Pancho is gone for GOOD.  We're almost there!

Moods:  I am on Cloud 9.  Seriously.  I am flying, couldn't be happier, lalalala, I don't even recognize myself!

Milestones: VIABILITY!!!!!  Woohoo!  Which in NO WAY means Cricket is coming out yet, but at least now if something goes wrong, she's got a fighting chance :)  I'm so excited by this.  What a way to welcome the new year! 

Belly, 23w5d, from the front.  I have had people think I had
the baby looking at me straight on in the right shirt.  I am
going all forward, and from the back, it is undetectable!
Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis. Ready for the list? Syn.throid 50 mcg, 100 mg, Zo.fran pump, Iron, D3, D2, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, no more prenatals, Bene.fiber, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Lidocaine patches, Tylenol 3 for the migraines.

Saw Dr. Back twice - I would have that man's children.  I feel soooo much better.  Nearly status quo for me!  And I'm barely waddling!

Saw Dr. Pain - released from his care unless I get really bad again :)

Weekly Wisdom: Stop turning sideways to fit through places...You are the same size from the side, LOL.

I HAD to show you what is happening to my belly button.
That scar at the very top is 2 different belly button piercing
scars.  The middle one, just above the belly button, is the
bottom parts of the top ones - it used to not be visible. 
The bottom one is a surgical scar my husband didn't even
know I had.  It also didn't really used to be visible.  LOL.
Best moment this week: Coming to peace with things, and beginning to feel SEXY pregnant instead of FAT pregnant.  It's a wonderful feeling! I got curves, and I am LOVIN them! 

Worst moment this week:  Nothing pregnancy related!