Friday, August 6, 2010

A Letter To Myself

Dear 34,

As I write this, you have just turned 33, and sit amazed at all the last year has brought.  You are in your "2ww" for an IVF cycle, the only one you said you would do, and the doctors gave you an excellent chance of success.  You have spent a number of the last months on an emotional rollercoaster the likes of which I sincerely hope you do not have to go through again. 

I wonder...are you now the mother of a child or 2?  Or are you moving on, or perhaps have you just done an FET?  Have you found a new job that doesn't make you crazy?  Was 33 better to you than 32 was? 

There are some things I want you to remember, whatever the outcome was of that 33rd birthday.  So, when you read this, try to remember where you were a year ago.

You are beautiful, you are strong, and you are a good person.  And while it seemed like it at the time, it's not the first time you've been through some seriously bad times.  Granted, it was the worst of those times, but you did what you needed to do to get through it, and don't feel guilty about things you may have done or said.  Self-preservation is necessary. 

Have you started taking care of yourself as well as you try to care for others?  Have you found something to occupy yourself that makes you feel good about yourself?  And I really want to know....are you a mother to children you bore of your own body?  I really want to know that...

But most of all, I want to know if you are alright, if you are happy, if this past year gave you what you needed, and in some cases, what you wanted.  If not, find what makes you happy again, and go do it.  Somehow....You are beautiful, you are strong, and you are a good person.

Love,

33

14 comments:

  1. Great letter....and generally things turn out better than we plan....with a few wibbles a long the way. May you have a fantastic year with babies and no major wibbles. xxx

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  2. Oh my , I can't even write the tears are comnig so fast...this was a gorgeous letter to yourself, to those babies that better be STICKING right now...to all that you are...
    beautiful, strong and amazing, my friend!!!
    xoxoxo

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  3. Great letter! I hope 33 is an awesome year. And, I hope those gorgeous litle embabies are snuggling in tight for the long haul.

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  4. Beautiful letter and happy birthday. I hope 33 is going to be a great year for both of us :)

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  5. What an awesome idea. I love the letter! Here's to a great year!

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  6. Yet another reason why you rock my socks.

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  7. I hope, this coming August, that all your answers are the ones that Gen2010 wanted them to be.

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  8. what a wonderful letter and I see a beautiful ticker at the top of your blog, so sounds like the IVF was a success!! Congrats!!

    (popping over from the creme)

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  9. Now following from Creme de la Creme (hope you'll follow back).

    That was a wonderful letter. It got me thinking about what I would write to myself.

    I hope that it would be similar - full of love and hope.

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  10. What a wonderful idea, to write a letter to yourself. And a very honest, gentle letter it was. I have to say, I was very excited to see your ticker above it, confirming that your 34 year old will be the mother of a child. So exciting! How amazing will it be to go back and read this letter and to realize how much has changed. While you will still be beautiful and strong and a good person, you will also be someone's mother, and that will change you forever. Congratulations 34!

    Creme de la Creme #125
    Creme de la Creme 2010 Iron Commenter Attempt
    http://esperanzasays.wordpress.com/iron-clad-creme-de-la-creme-commenter/

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  11. I'm here from the Creme (a little late, but still here).

    I love this idea. And, I see by your ticker that you are currently pregnant. Congratulations!

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