Monday, August 9, 2010

Fishing for Sane - An Explanation

Went fishing this morning, and I caught Crazy Genevieve!  I've got her on the hook now, struggling a bit, but caught for the moment.  Long enough for me to exlplain about the BBS thing.  Or at least try, from a semi-rational point of view.

Okay, for a Leo, I am weird about wanting attention.  I like it, but I like it the way I want it, when I want it.  Yeah, there might be more to that cat thing than I realized...

Anywho, I am very self-conscious about my body, and I definitely have some tran tendencies.  I have always known that the most difficult part about being pregnant would be my BBS getting big and fairly obvious.  I'm just not comfortable with them.  I don't know how else to explain it.  I like to look sexy.  Sometimes.  Most days I just want to be comfortable.  And my body is defying me right's taken over and it's saying, "Ha!  You aren't in control anymore!"  That would be another one of those Leo traits I got....

So for me to be uncomfortable in my skin and getting stares and comments is difficult.  Plus, the biggest downside to being out about my IF is that EVERYONE is tracking my progress.  So, bigger BBS = pregnancy, and everyone thinks I should be thrilled and that it's a definite.  I know better.  Hello?  Progesterone?  (Oops, let me tighten up the reel a bit....there!)

So, it's a comfort thing.  I am more comfortable being androgynous.  I know it doesn't make sense in the realm of wanting to become a mother.  It's something I am going to learn to live with.  And it's fine.  It's just an adjustment.  But I wanted to explain. 

In the vein of learning to love myself, I am posting one of my favorite empowerment songs.  Enjoy, and Happy Monday (which was not so perfect, but oh, well).


  1. oh sweetie, I get it ...I didn't want to breatfeed for this reason, I have always had big BBS and to use them for that, I felt ..well we'll discuss it some other time...but I do know how you need to feel comfortable even in this time of not knowing.
    Just know you're beautiful inside and out and your body will do lots of other things in the next 40 weeks (Kir the Optimist at your service) better get used to it.

    and as usual, I cannot see your song (here at work..firewalls..) but I am sure it's you.
    <3 xo

  2. Sounds like you are having a rough time of it right now. Just think of your end goal though and how this discomfort may just be worth it in the end. I hope it is! :) HUGS!

  3. ((Hugs)) I understand. I'm comfortable the size I am but do not want bigger ones. For some reason it embarrasses me. Still crossing my fingers for you.

  4. Hey honey so sorry it was a less than perfect Monday. I understand you finding it hard everyone thinking your boobs changing size automatically means pregnancy. How frustrating, those ignorant people!! I like your explanation and you are absolutely entitled to feel that way. (((HUGS)))


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