Wednesday, July 6, 2011

30 Day Infertility Blog Challenge: Day 5

5.Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.

*Because my blog is publicly published, I will be keeping the name private

 This is actually a really difficult post for me...I really struggled with who to choose and how to go about it.  Someone who hurt me?  Or someone who supported me?  I decided on the latter, in the pursuit of positivity.

Dear Little's Mommy,

You found out you were pregnant shortly after we met.  You were already well aware of our struggles, and always made sure to ask how it was going.  Your announcement came shortly after I had said that one more pregnancy announcement would send me over the edge.  When you called, I just KNEW.  And I cried.

There were some missteps in how you supported me.  But it didn't matter, because you took me seriously, understood my pain, and gave me a shoulder to cry on.  Getting the opportunity to be there through your pregnancy was a joy.  For some reason, it didn't pain me.  To this day, I don't know why yours was easier to bear than others.

Perhaps it was because you allowed me full access to your bump.  When Tiny kicked, you made sure to let me feel.  It allowed me to have a sort of vicarious pregnancy through some of the darkest moments of my life.

You never mince words, and for that I am eternally thankful.  But you are not without tact.  There is definitely a difference.  Even when we are busy, we always get a chance to catch up.  And I can only thank you for the many times you listened to my disaster of a life and smacked some sense into me.

You were the first to bring me maternity pants...even before we knew we were pregnant.  You were THAT SURE.  When I could not be.  I cannot begin to tell you how much that meant to me, hormonal mess that I was.  I cried when I saw that bag on my desk, when I pulled out pants and shirts and imagined needing them because I had a bump, not just because I was bloated beyond reason from treatments.

I love you.  I love the raw honesty we have with one another, with no worry of offense or hurt feelings.  And I love that you always trusted that somehow, some way, I would be holding my own little Tiny someday soon.

Thank you.



  1. So sweet! I have a friend EXACTLY like this....she's been my rock. She let me live through both of her pregnancies, and it never bothered me. I love her kids to death!

    I hope that she reads your blog, or that you give this letter to her:)

  2. My hormones are out of control - I just weeped while reading this letter. great post!

  3. You chose well, Kakunaa!

    And Tiny's mom is a great fertile friend to have!

  4. I love this. It made me cry too. Beautifully written. And you know something? It's that good, I don't know but what I'd send it. :)


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