Friday, May 21, 2010

Ramblings of an Exhausted Insomniac

Good morning, Bleeps!!! Welcome to May's ICLW! For those of you new to my little world, I apologize for this post. I've barely slept in weeks, and this week has been particularly bad, so I'm a bit loony toons this morning. I have been working on this post all night in my head, and started at 4 am with the actual computer stuff to make it happen. I'm a tired girl, and my brain won't shut up, so this could be long. If you would like to play catch up on our story, click the link above that says "Our TTC Journey."

Let's see, I'll start with it being Photo Friday with today's project being something called Through the Viewfinder (TTV). Below is the TTV photo, followed by the original. I don't know how I feel about what I chose, but I plan to continue messing around with this, because it's freakin cool and fun. For those interested, original photo taken at Yellowstone National Park back in 2003.

Next on the agenda is the Name My Uterus Contest for which I am still taking entries. I thought it would be fun to continue taking entries through ICLW - perhaps I will get a LOT. I have to say, the entries so far have been fantastic! Thank you so much, ladies!

CD32, still no red-headed step-child. So, because Frog is freaked out (and DH knows nothing since technically he didn't want to know if men were involved in this open marriage thing), I will be POAS later today. I bought 2 at the dollar store. Can't believe I'm doing it. Feels weird, considering the nearly absolute impossibility, but hey, I needed something to do today. Results tomorrow (negative, I assure you).

As I mentioned, STILL not sleeping. At last GP appointment, he prescribed Lun.esta. Long story short, insurance companies are fun, and he had to change it, which took a week of phone tag, so Monday night I started on Res.toril. One of the side effects (1.2% of people) is nightmares or vivid dreams. You guessed it. I got it. Also got additional anxiety (2.0%). I gave it 3 nights and am giving the hell up. I couldn't take it. So last night I tried Valerian go. No crazy dreams, but no sleep, either. I refuse to nap today....maybe that will give me a fair shot tonight. Cross your fingers for me.....because I REALLY need some freaking sleep.

Next up (I warned you this would be long - remember, brain won't let me sleep so I think ALL NIGHT) is a shout-out to Mel at Stirrup Queens for all the projects she puts together. And for the amount of reading she must do to keep up with us all. I accidentally deleted my blogroll yesterday, but luckily had one of my pages open and was able to re-do it. Which is when I realized I follow 59 blogs. 59. And I can barely keep up. Mel has a blogroll of over 2000!!! Seriously? All hail the freakin Queen. I would also like to shout out to K because that woman manages a witty, and more importantly, succinct post every day. Unlike my novels of verbal vomit. Kudos to you! Besides, I won a drawing on her page, and the envelope came with a note written on....toilet paper. I love that woman.

Last night DH and I watched Edge of Darkness with Frog and Pixie. Bad flick for someone with anxiety issues, let me tell you. BUT, that's not actually the point. There is a scene ****SPOILER ALERT**** in the movie where Mel Gibson's character is shaving, and his daughter hallucination comes in the room and wants to shave as well. Like a good daddy, he puts shaving cream all over her face, and she shaves with him, same moves, but with a comb. Serious Daddy/Daughter moment. I wept. Father's Day is around the corner, and no daughter for hubby to be a daddy to. It was very poignant. And I'm a sap. But, yeah, I was a little blown away by my reaction to that. Apparently it's not just Pg bellies and ultrasounds that will do me in anymore.

Okay, I will stop now. I think I covered everything I wanted to, and if not, oh freakin' well, there's always tomorrow. I'm off to read some new blogs! Happy ICLW to you all :) I am leaving you with a video of a song that gets me through, and has for years. One of my support songs. Now, the video is absolute cheese, as it was the 80's, so if you can't take it, close your eyes and just listen to the words. Enjoy. Happy Friday and Happy Reading!


  1. so sorry you're not sleeping, The Fibro does that to me too...and I am TIRED a lot. I understand and hope tonight you get some zzz's.

    I loved the picture, it's looks "Out of this world'ly...." and I like it very much.

    you let me know as soon as you POAS...Holy cow,...I'll be in knots all day.

    as for those holidays , Oh I many days that cater to "embracing our families"right??? and so many tears...cried, screamed, pounded into chests and into pillows...for what I couldn't have, what I felt I'd never have. I am hugging you in my heart, because I know how that feels. I just hope that soon your dream comes true.

    and I can't see the song...BAH! (sometimes I HATE my computer!) Happy Friday, I actually hope you are napping right now.


  2. Great picture!

    I hope you get some sleep soon! Sorry about the nightmares and vivid dream. I've been there (on another medication after surgery in December) and it's no fun at all!


  3. Good luck with the sleep!

    I love the name the uterus contest. I named my car (The Bean) and my computer (Adam West). I can't thing of a good name for the uterus though. Good luck1


  4. Good luck with hpts. Take them asap and get it over with :)
    Thanks for the head up on that movie.. it would've me me bawl too.

  5. Oh woman I love you more. Love, love, love your photos.

  6. Oh I can't imagine what the no sleep must be doing to you - I feel like you're at a distinct disadvantage for everything when there is lack of sleep. Hope you find the right combination of meds and peace to give you some Zzz's.

    I'm not sure what to name your uterus. If I come up with something, I'll post it!

  7. I've never heard the term "red-haired step child" to describe... you know... that bitch!

    Thanks for adding to my IF lexicon!


  8. Nothing worse than not being able to sleep, been there done that and it's horrible, I hope sleep manages to find you soon.

    And great song!

    Happy ICLW!!

  9. Well Kakunaa...the way you are saying it, you doooooo need to sleep!

    I am awed at Mel's commitment as well and hats off to her!

    I love the picture!

  10. I love the picts. Sorry your not sleeping, I know what that can do to a person. I hope you find some peace soon. Congrats on winning a contest.

    Happy ICLW!(#64)

  11. it's hard, i know.
    it's so difficult to empty one's mind when it is filled with anticipation or anxiety or what have you.
    some people say if you are having difficulty sleeping to: try reading; a glass of milk right before you want to go to sleep; turn the tv one etc [something boring is bound to come on!]; meditation; etc. i think the human body eventually quiets itself down and from sheer exhaustion, the sleep will arrive.
    best to you.

  12. love what you are doing with the TTV stuff. ha! I almost typed "the ttc stuff"- love what you are doing there too ;-)


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