Sunday, May 9, 2010

Always There, Never Gone, Forever Strong

Grown In My Heart is presenting a Mother's Day Adoption Carnival. The idea is to post a photo of your Mom(s), and write a piece about them in 6 words. Unfortunately I have no decent photos of my MIL's just of them, but they, too, shall be honored today. However, my mother is one of my favorite subjects. We have had our issues, on and off, over the years, but nevertheless, she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever known. 6 words....that is difficult, but here goes: "Always there, never gone, forever strong."

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommy's, and also to those of us striving to be a mommy to something other than a furbaby. Or to our friends. Or just in our hearts. You are all amazing, strong, beautiful women - and we will all somehow survive this terrible ride on the IF Rollercoaster and come out the other side stronger, more compassionate, and forever changed, but ever more beautiful for it.

2 Mother's Days ago is right around when I went off of BCP and we began TTC. I thought for sure by last year, I'd be a mother, have a baby keeping me up all hours. Alas, it was not to be. So, I thought, this year. But then we got the reality of male and female factor infertility. Doing the BD became irrelevant, and our lives changed forever.

I have refused to purchase anything baby related during this process. Can't do it....including the fabulous wooden rocking bassinet I found for $25, antique. But friends have outwitted me. One is holding all of her maternity clothes, and a baby swing for me. She is confident we will prevail on our IVF cycle. Yesterday, Pixie and Frog found a crib circa 1979, metal, probably not considered safe anymore, in their crawl space, that has decorations that to them screamed my name. And so, I have inherited a crib. I don't even know how to feel about it.

But it's coming home to be cleaned up, and .... I don't think I can put it in the spare room, the current cat room, yet. So probably store it in the basement. But maybe I can look at it as hope, as "when" instead of "if" and use it as inspiration. I have a crib.

I have included a video this post. When I first heard this song YEARS ago, I thought, "When I have a daughter, (or son, but I always imagined a daughter) I will sing this to her...this will be the song I will learn and sing to her." It's the closest I have to having purchased baby things in anticipation, besides the names picked out years ago. I want to share it with you. The artist's name is Vienna Teng, and I'm playing it for the daughter I will someday have. To you, my love.


  1. beautiful post and what a beautiful Mama you have. I love that photo.

  2. Very sweet, and Happy Mama's Day lovely lady!

  3. OMG! I'm a friend of Vienna's! We met in college in a singing group (though obviously I didn't have the chops to go pro), and this was one of the first songs she ever recorded on her demo. It's a beautiful song, and I have wished just as fervently as you have for a wee one to sing it too.

    Happy Mother's Day.

  4. Happy Mother's Day...your daughter will be blessed to call you Momma! xoxoxo

  5. Oh so glad you linked and posted. Love the words, love the photo. Mother's Day can be so hard when you're on that long and winding road.

  6. What a beautiful, beautiful song--it made me cry. And I love the picture of your mother with the flowers in the background. You can tell just by looking what a strong woman she is.

    Happy Mother's Day!


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