Happy Mother's Day to all the mommy's, and also to those of us striving to be a mommy to something other than a furbaby. Or to our friends. Or just in our hearts. You are all amazing, strong, beautiful women - and we will all somehow survive this terrible ride on the IF Rollercoaster and come out the other side stronger, more compassionate, and forever changed, but ever more beautiful for it.
2 Mother's Days ago is right around when I went off of BCP and we began TTC. I thought for sure by last year, I'd be a mother, have a baby keeping me up all hours. Alas, it was not to be. So, I thought, this year. But then we got the reality of male and female factor infertility. Doing the BD became irrelevant, and our lives changed forever.
I have refused to purchase anything baby related during this process. Can't do it....including the fabulous wooden rocking bassinet I found for $25, antique. But friends have outwitted me. One is holding all of her maternity clothes, and a baby swing for me. She is confident we will prevail on our IVF cycle. Yesterday, Pixie and Frog found a crib circa 1979, metal, probably not considered safe anymore, in their crawl space, that has decorations that to them screamed my name. And so, I have inherited a crib. I don't even know how to feel about it.
But it's coming home to be cleaned up, and .... I don't think I can put it in the spare room, the current cat room, yet. So probably store it in the basement. But maybe I can look at it as hope, as "when" instead of "if" and use it as inspiration. I have a crib.
I have included a video this post. When I first heard this song YEARS ago, I thought, "When I have a daughter, (or son, but I always imagined a daughter) I will sing this to her...this will be the song I will learn and sing to her." It's the closest I have to having purchased baby things in anticipation, besides the names picked out years ago. I want to share it with you. The artist's name is Vienna Teng, and I'm playing it for the daughter I will someday have. To you, my love.