May Reflections

Before I dive into what I realllllllly want to post about today, I'm going to catch up on a couple of things. First, Kristin proposed a Blogging Without Makeup Day, where we post a pic of ourselves without makeup and rock it :) Here is me, glasses, no makeup, no contacts. Bad lighting, glare on the glasses :)

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Secondly, I missed a couple days. I spent the night at F&P's Saturday night, and Frog had been feeling not right for almost a week. Sunday morning he got out of bed to go to work and fell over. Major joint pain. So off to the hospital we went. I'd had about 1 1/2 hours of sleep (thank you insomnia once again). Just a viral infection. He's fine. But I was too exhausted the rest of the day to do a damn thing. Yesterday, I was cranky, irritable, and seriously PMS'ing. Still no sign of AF, but I just couldn't be bothered, yet again.

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Yesterday was also the hearing for Drunk Mom. We showed up. Lawyer and the woman showed up. A police officer came in. The judge came in. Turns out that the arresting officer has quit the department so there was some confusion as to what happens next, plus, the lawyer had decided they were going to waive the initial hearing anyway. So we were not needed. No idea what happens next or if we will even know. *Sigh*

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So, on to what was supposed to be Sunday's post. I got to thinking...we all have months we dread....months that have some sort of history for us that make them difficult. I started thinking about May in particular, as May is REALLY hard for me usually. And it occurred to me that though difficult things have happened in every other month, I'm sure, May has been consistent in terms of life changes for me for 11 straight years! Insane. Here's the breakdown:
1999 - graduate from college.
2000 - accepted to Peace Corps and my mom had a nervous breakdown.
2001 - leave for Peace Corps (6 months later I had a nervous breakdown and came home).
2002 - my dearest grandmother who taught me to love music, Mother Nature, and beauty in general passed away. The last photo taken of her is with me.
2003 - hired by the organization that would take me to California - best job EVER.
2004 - moved in with my soon-to-be-wife.
2005 - meet the women who would become my support in SoCal, beginning my drag king career. Incidentally, the main woman was our MC of sorts at my wedding to DH.
2006 - Hired officially by the company that would lead indirectly to me meeting my DH.
2007 - moved in with DH, post divorce from the wife.
2008 - move with DH and some friends to a house in the town of our dreams and begin planning our wedding. Incidentally, start TTC
2009 - having run out of options, we had been living with my dad back here in PA - May is when my dad went off the deep end, threatened DH and we had to move overnight into a crap apartment to get away from him. Major blowup and change in the relationship with my father. Realize we may have TTTC and start becoming frustrated with the whole thing.
2010 - I go off the deep end, and we are beginning the pre-cycle to our first IVF as soon as the red-headed step-child shows her ugly face....which could lead to the biggest change in our lives yet......

So....that's May in my life. Never a dull one, not for years. I've been waxing quite philosophical lately, and perhaps it is because of May. I had thought to insert photos from some of these moments, but alas, I am not at home. Plus, then this post would realllllly be enormous. As opposed to mildly enormous.

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I spoke about signs a few posts ago. I got 2 this week past. First, a ladybug landed on DH's shoulder. That's good luck, I believe. I'll take it. Sign 2: a book I had read about on someone else's post looked really intriguing...and it turned up on Pixie's shelf. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth which turned out to be one of the most fascinating reads of my life. She is an amazing woman. I am reading all I can, not for me, not in some sort of hopeful preparation, but for Pixie. I am going to be part of the support team for her birth. So I need to be prepared. Preparing for HER birth takes my mind off of things. Kind of. Well, not really, but I feel I'm helping, which always makes me feel better. So, those are my good signs. I'll take them. Whatever help I can get, I will take it.

I apologize for the long post. My brain doesn't ever quiet down, and so if I miss days I feel I have to just GET IT ALL OUT. So there you go. Happy week, Bleeps.