Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Guilt

My nerves have been all over the place...some days totally fine, some days I can barely get out of bed. Saturday was a "spend all day moping" kind of day. I bailed on a birthday party and some friends. GUILT!!!

Why does guilt play such a large part of this journey? I can't help how I feel, but there it is. It hounds me sometimes. I want to be a good friend, and yet I hide from people some days. I have a good group of friends, and they are supportive, and yet, still....GUILT. Self-imposed GUILT. What is that about, anyway?

Other news: insurance will cover the cryo and 2 years storage. $3000 officially assigned to our FSA for DS and meds and paying some of the bills afterwards. It's a start. I'm nervous, and I've still got at least 2 months to wait. The waiting game is difficult, but things are slowly moving forward....

2 comments:

  1. It's not "bailing" on friends...it's called Self Preservation. The emotional toll of all of this is incredible and ANYTHING you can do to make your life a little less stressful is important. True friends will understand.
    I'm glad that your insurance will help. Every little bit helps, for sure.
    Missy

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  2. You've gotta take care of you, you know? And if once in a while (or maybe more often) that just means some downtime to yourself when you can just let yourself feel the way you feel...so be it.

    You're so fortunate that your insurance does anything for you...mine laughed at me when I asked!!

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