Dear AF...

...I have known you for quite some time now, and I feel that I can be brutally honest, so here goes. I HATE YOU! But I will say that for a long time, it was only a detestation. In fact, there were a number of times when I welcomed your visit because it meant that my careless behavior did not cause me a permanent reminder of what's-his-name(s). You still annoyed me, though, with your abuse of my uterus and the emotional rollercoaster. But I accepted that you were part of my life, and that your arrival proved I was hormonally balanced (ha!) and that things functioned the way they were supposed to.

However, having said that, for the last 2 years you really have become the bane of my existence. All you do is remind me for 6 days a month of what I can't have. So screw you! And! it turns out that your arrival did NOT mean that all was well. In fact, I am seriously irritated by the amount of money I spent on preventing you from NOT visiting. You misled me, you hurt me, and most of all, you mock me. I wish you did not exist.

The odd thing is that, from what I read, in about 2 months I'll be hoping for your arrival so that I can start the process that will hopefully lead to your banishment for 9 months. So, despite my hatred of you, and my wish that you disappear for long months at a time, please take comfort in the fact that for 1 month, I will relish your arrival. Maybe that will help to lessen the blow of my complete and utter honesty with you. If not, I don't really care.

Thanks for listening,

Me