*UPDATED* Paying It Forward & Update

Kristin at Dragondreamer's Lair is putting together a memorial for Lola, to let Wise Guy know we are all here for her.  So check out her post for the plan.  Please go do this.  Wise Guy needs us, and has been there for so many of us in our journeys.  Time to pay it forward ladies.

I am going to be brutally honest.  I didn't make it past that news yesterday.  I couldn't read anyone's blogs.  I couldn't risk coming across more bad news.  So please, please understand if I don't comment for a few days while I wrap my head around things.  But the meltdown I had yesterday I can't risk.  One of the best things I can do right now is stay calm.

My mom commented that she was surprised how well I was handling things.  I pointed out that she just hadn't heard me lose it.  But oh, did I.  The shift nurse came in and got me calmed down, and later had the NICU nurse come over and talk to me.  Before I leave I will be heading over to see the LOs over there.  Specifically to see one about Cricket's size, and a bit older (since she isn't coming out yet) to hopefully give me some peace of mind about potentially delivering pre-term.  I am not going alone...that much I've determined.  So whomever is my ride home will be with me.  I'd love for that to be Hubby, but with work, I am realistic.

So, update.  By about 8 last night the contractions tapered off.  It's 4 am - just had another small one.  But    I finally crashed and got a whopping 5 hours of sleep.  But my brain has turned back on.  I'm not even sure what all I told you guys yesterday regarding a plan - I am that out of it. 

I met with the Perinatologist in the afternoon, and they postponed my cervix check until before I leave today to space out the checks as much as possible and hopefully prevent any more trauma.  I will be staying on the Procardia, and may be able to space out doses, depending on how my body reacts to being less restricted than I am in here.  Basically, if there has been no change in my cervix since Friday night, I go home with severe restrictions, but not actual bed rest.  I will be able to work for the time being, with the knowledge that things could change. 

I don't know if this will now mean weekly OB visits or what.  Guess we shall see.  Hubby is not going to let me move a finger.  I would be willing to bet that if we go to the grocery store he plops me in a wheelchair.  I'm trying not to think of the work I need to get done at home.  My sisters, friends, mom are very much going to be chipping in and helping me ... um, I hope, LOL. 

Okay, as I was writing the Resident came in and did a check.  No real change that they can tell (being that there were 2 different examiners) so we will see what the OB says later - but I will almost definitely have more frequent checks either at the OB or with Peri. With this news, though, I am expecting to be released with the restrictions and work.  I will let you know if this changes.

Are we out of the woods? Nope. Could things be worse? Absolutely. As far as shortened, funneling cervices go, and preterm labor, we are in a good place. My cervix was nice and long (5cm) to begin with, and was somewhere between 3 and 4 cm when I was admitted. So, yes, we have to watch it, but we've got some room to play with. As long as we keep contractions to 4 or less per hour (I'm sure they may kick back up a notch when I'm not in bed constantly), they will be happy for now. Am I scared? Hell yeah. Am I grateful that this is happening now instead of earlier? Yup. Is there a chance I could go all the way? Yes, but no one seems to think that right now. We are hoping for 35 weeks. It would be nice to actually be pregnant at my shower.  And at 35 weeks we stand an amazing shot of not needing the NICU for more than a couple of days.  So, 8 more weeks...here's hoping. 

Thanks for the support gang, and I will be back to commenting soon.  I just need to get myself to a place where I can stay calm and focused.  I love you all.

*UPDATE*

Spoke with the OB and I will be out of work for 2 weeks right now.  Before I am due to go back I will follow up with them and see what the plan is from there.  Not strict bed rest, but limited to doing what I need to do to eat, shower, etc.  Stay away from excessive stairing.