Wow! It's been over a month since I've written to you. I talk to you all the time, though. Especially when you kick the Exit Door, ahem. YOU AREN'T COMING OUT YET!
The exciting news is that if you DID come out now, you would have a chance at survival (and bankruptcy for me and Dad, LOL). But it is of no end of relief to me to have met this milestone. You assert your strength more and more everyday, from kicks to just plain draining my energy. You take it all :) It's good training for when you arrive, though.
Even though you are in there, it was still sort of your first Christmas, and you made out pretty well :) It was so much fun to open gifts addressed to you. It makes your impending arrival that much more real to us, and a bit scary as well, but in a good way :)
Since I last wrote, we have been able to feel your kicks with a hand on my belly, AND see your kicks! We can't really watch you move yet, but seeing my belly jump makes us both giggle. And with the little monitor we bought, we can HEAR you move in my belly, though we can't use it for your heartbeat yet. Still, wicked cool. You really are in there, growing, changing, preparing to be a live child in our arms.
Tomorrow we will be making sure your heart is in good condition, and I can't wait to get another look at you :) Since I've stopped gaining weight, I imagine you are getting bigger and bigger in there...I even felt your foot yesterday! So weird and amazing all at the same time.
Cricket, I have never been this happy, I don't think. Even my insomnia is worth it. When I'm unable to sleep at night, your dad snoring, your fur-brother grunting and wiggling on the bed, I lie there with my hand on you, feeling you exercise the night away. It is time for just you and me, and truth be told, I'm going to miss it soooo much when you are in my arms. Which will be just as wonderful, but right now, you are all mine, and I treasure these days more than you know. Maybe someday you will know the same feeling...
I love you.