Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Dear Baby #4

My dear Cricket,

I thought you might like to know just HOW we chose your donor, as I know it will come up one day.  At some point, you will wonder, and we are not going to hide it from you.  How you came to be is so important.  Not more important than how much you will be loved, but important nonetheless. 

I have to be honest, we had to really take financial burdens into consideration when choosing where your donor came from, and who it was.  Which led us to Cryogenic Laboratories, as they were the least expensive, and offered a "basic" donor, with very basic information.  You will not get to meet your donor, but you have us, so I hope that doesn't matter as much to you, though I will understand if it does.

So, once we had narrowed down which company we could afford, we also had the requirements of the doctor.  They preferred a specific type of sperm preparation (EWWWW, I know, but there you go).  We also preferred a donor with known pregnancies to make sure we weren't up against any quality issues. 

So now we had a list of potential donors.  Dad and I have a wicked sense of humor, and for a time talked about having a biracial baby, just to screw with people.  There were definitely some Asian and other donors on the long list.  But in the end, we decided to try for someone who shared a similar ethnic background with Dad, as well as some physical characteristics.  Keep in mind that we had some pretty severe limitations, so we are talking close, here, but no cigar, okay?  But, it became important for Dad to have the possibility of you being recognized as his baby to the outside world.  So you have been spared the question of, "Were you adopted???"  Aren't you happy logic prevailed? 

All the other stuff, the degree, interests, etc, of your donor were just bonuses.  Things we liked, but not uber-important.  Because when it comes down to it, we just wanted you.  And we want you healthy.  And genes are certainly not everything, not by a long shot.  Ask any adopted child.  (And you have an "aunt" who is adopted, so you can have long talks with her some day about it, if you want.)

So, while it's not an exciting story, it's the beginning of you, and you should know it, and not be ashamed or embarassed about it.  We all come about in different ways.  The important thing?  You were desired, wanted, worked for, and loved long before you even came to be a fertilized egg in a petri dish. 

Love you,



  1. This is beautiful G and so very open, something I'd be as well if I was in your shoes.

    And you're right it's not something your babe should ever be ashamed of because really it shows how much he/she was wanted!


  2. What a beautiful letter. I love that your sense of humor had you considering a biracial baby...LOL.

  3. Cricket is a lucky little person to have such great parents - and lucky they decided not to have a bi-racial baby "for fun"!

  4. Great post, you brought tears to my eyes!

    Cricket is so very lucky!

  5. Awwww, I love these letters. I need to do one, or two.

  6. i'd be happy to talk to the cricket about such things some day...its a similar line of thought that D and i discuss in our looking to the future and hoping to have a family!


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