Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Bearded Lady

Come one!  Come all!  Welcome to the PREGNANCY CIRCUS FREAK SHOW!!!

Here, for your viewing pleasure, we have....THE BEARDED LADY! 

No, really.  I have always been, shall we say....hirsuit.  But it's out.of.control.  I used to need to pluck a hair or 3 from my chin, just underneath. And there was peach fuzz on my neck.  NOW???? I look like I have an Amish beard.  Seriously.  IT'S BAD.  And embarassing.  The fuzz on my belly is so not just fuzz anymore.  I had to shave to attach Pancho comfortably.  I am a furry beast. 

Which brings me to the circus.  Think about it.  What pregnancy does to a body is truly freak show worthy.  Extra hair.  Unbelievably expanding uterus (up to 20 times its original size!!!).  Not only would someone seeing me get a beard, if they visit regularly, they get to see my body grow in strange and obscene ways.  OH!  And then, they can watch the alien being move inside my belly.  Because that's not weird AT ALL.  And that's just the REALLY obvious stuff. 

I refuse to wax it.  Bleach maybe?  And will it go away after???  Oh, goodness, I hope so.  Please don't let me be saddled with a permanent beard.  The unibrow and hairy mole are enough to deal with, thank you very much.

So, thank you for visiting my little freak show. That will be $5, please.

11 comments:

  1. LOL, a side show it is! Old wifestales claim if you grow more hair during pregnancy it's a boy :)

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  2. bawhaha....my extra fuzz hasn't gone away yet. Soon please!

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  3. Sorry I can't help with this one sweetie, I have never experienced it! I hope it is not bothering you too much!! I've just caught up on the other posts, too. What a cool journal! And yay for your mum visiting and making all those wonderful offers. Take care :)

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  4. Ah! I hear you! i have developed a furry back!! Just awful! it's soft of course but dark...not nice at all and I hope it'll go away too. I also have a darker shadow just where my hairline meets my ears...not nice...I look like a guy from the seventies with a big belly!

    But honestly, bring it on!!!

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  5. LMAO! I am so sorry. That does suck. I'd recommend bleaching it. I wouldn't wax it, for the simple fact that it may grow back even worse. Good luck, sweetie. I promise you aren't a freak show!!!

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  6. I'm right there with you...and I'm getting more hair in places that people don't see too, well people except my hubby that is ;-) And its staying cause my poor boobies can take the pain. I just hope I don't end up like the dog and having to cut out anything that sticks, if you know what I mean.

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  7. See and I have the worlds thinnest hair so I almost look normal when preggo... I said almost.

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  8. OOOOHHHH...you poor girl, seriously how many PG s/e are you going to have????
    I didn't get hairy, but at 14 weeks, I got Hives and then I got them every single day for the rest of my pregnancy. It was seriously awful..along with the puking and bedrest etc.

    I know you are making the best of it, but i am really hoping the universe gives you a break soon....HUGS

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  9. haha, i love your freak show! :)

    p.s. i left you a sweet little award on my blog! and thanks for all of your support! xo!

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  10. Oh you poor girl! You have been sick and now you're hairy all over? I hope all the odd side effects stop for you soon!

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  11. Yea, welcome to my world...LOL. I pluck the crap out of my mess...I have this cool contraption that plucks a bunch at once...:)

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