Thursday, October 7, 2010

Warning: Minor Debbie Downer Ahead

I don't have a catchy title today, nothing clever in my head.  Today is the first day in a little over a week I haven't had a migraine/tension headache and the accompanying back pain.  Well, not incapacitating, anyway.  A migraine induced by an attempt to take a dump.  Seriously.  What's funny is that my ticker says something about constipation...it's soooooo not lying. 

So now, Spazz and Punky AREN'T moving in - so he's moving his stuff back out.  He is afraid between working with DH and living with DH that their friendship will suffer, so he's not moving in.  They aren't moving in.  And he is cutting back the hours he works with Hubby, so that saves us money...I guess it's a compromise.  I'm worried about how that is going to affect Hubby's back.  I just don't know...I understand, I do, but ugh.

Turns out the crib is from FROG!!!  Yeah.  Weird.  And he called Hubby today...wants to help him fix it.  I think he's lonely, and scared after his time in the hospital and wants a friend again.  Not that he'll speak to me.  I'm still the bad person.  He lost 35 lbs in the hospital from the high fever, and they still have to test him for leukemia.  Why this hasn't been done yet if they think it's a possibility is beyond  me.  Anyway, I guess he and Hubby are going to be buds now, and I honestly don't know how I feel about that...

So I guess what I'm saying, is that overall, I just don't know about things, life, MY life right now.  I'm worried about finances and the car, I don't want drama, and I simply don't understand why things upset me so much.  The ONLY reason I managed to get off the couch today is because Chica is here and helps me to be productive.  It's as though the brain can't let the good in.  I've only been back on the Zo.loft a little over a week, though, so I know not to expect miracles.  And I hope the lower dose does the job, I really do.  I worry a lot about the possibility of post-partum depression, honestly. 

Do you ever wonder how you got here?  Do you look around and wonder, "How did my life get here?"

5 comments:

  1. Sweetie...things are bothering you so much because you have a cocktail of raging hormones coursing through your body. Every little bit of reason will cease to exist for the duration of the pregnancy. {{{Hugs}}}

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  2. Yes I often wonder that..OFTEN! But then equally as often I think 'Isn't life fantastic?' It does even out. xxx

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  3. Honey, I think and ask that question to myself [how did my life get here?] every single morning. Usually just before I drag my arse to the side of the bed and swing my feet onto the floor and then right after I think "oh another day" I then think "how the hell did my life get here?".

    That question and more importantly it's answer is the reason for my current journey. Perhaps this is where I'm MEANT to be but if it is, I certainly ain't happy about it.

    Big hugs, glad you're migraine free today and as for the possibility of post-partum depression, it may well happen but you've already got the most powerful tool - foresight and the knowledge that it may just happen. If you know it's a possibility you can be prepared for it!

    xxx

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  4. Ugh, the drama seems to follow you. It'll get better. *BIG HUG*

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  5. ALL.THE.TIME..seriously.

    hang in there, things will work out the way they are suppossed to. I promise

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