Everyone and their mother that we meet know Cricket is an IVF baby, and in some cases, a DS baby. Not only have I come across a number of people and acquaintances who have had some run-in with IF, but the medical professionals in my life are hardcore IF veterans.
2 weeks ago at the ER, our doctor had done IVF unsuccessfully, and ended up adopting 6 kids through foster care. My nurse who handles Pancho was on the verge of pursuing IVF when she was offered a private adoption. They are now in the midst of a 2nd adoption.
Today in the ER (I will explain later), our nurse tech it turns out was conceived after her parents went through 2 years of fertility treatments. And my night nurse up on the floor (I promise to explain, but don't worry, Cricket is great) tried for years and with treatments for children. They finally got a BFP only to miscarry and have lived childfree since then.
These are just the most recent examples.
What's my point? Being open allows others to be open, and perhaps to say something honestly for the first time to someone who GETS IT. Sometimes that little connection can make a day.
Think about it. Try it, maybe. Just once...you might be surprised.
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One of these days I'll take your advice. I really mean it. I've been open about our m/c with medical professionals but that's about it. (And, really, that was just because it was a medical thing...) I just have the hardest time talking about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, seriously, what the heck happened?
Talking openly about our struggles was what made the last 2+ years bearable. It has brought incredible friends into my life, as well as given me an opportunty to educate others about what we deal with and how they can be supportive. Awareness is huge!
ReplyDeleteAnd I really hope you are okay!
I agree, opening up has been helpful. Hope you are okay! You've had a rough pregnancy thus far. I know it's all worth it, but hoping things get easier for you soon.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree...the more I talk, the more I see people that have been affected by IF and have built their families in a non traditional way. It makes me feel much less alone and it just reiterates the thought that every baby is a gift, no matter how they got here.
ReplyDeleteum, why are you in the ER and hospital...everything ok? You didn't text..bad girl! ;) xoxoxoox
Both my sister-in-laws suffer from IF. Pcos and IVF have made all my nieces and nephews possible.
ReplyDeleteUm, please elaborate as to why you are in the ER! I hope that everything is okay...
ReplyDeleteI completely agree! We are the exact same, totally open about our IVF and IF experience, I would have loved to hear other people experiences when we were in the darkest days so I promised to myself I would have been there for others. Love, Fran
ReplyDeleteps: don't leave too long before you update on what happened!!
I hope you are okay, I look forward to your ER update. If more people would talk about it, more people would know what you should and shouldn't say around pregnant women, or around people in general about pregnancy and children. You don't know the struggle, loss, or whatever else others have been through. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI am still surprised at how many IF veterans I run across. Glad Cricket is ok and I hope you didn't undergo too big of a scare.
ReplyDeleteSome days I am able to be super open and am amazed at the connections I make. Other days I have been smacked in the face with too much fertile news and just want to hunker down and keep my troubles to myself. But I would like to be strong enough to be "out" more :) Thanks so much for your sweet comment on my blog too. And please don't keep us in suspense for too long about this hospital stay!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't have any friends that have struggled with IF, I have met so many women online and I since I talk about my IF struggles with everyone I meet (I think they think I am a FREAK!) I have met people IRL that have struggled (who I never would have talked to if I wasn't so open and psycho). Since none of my IRL friends understand IF, I broke it down for them. It helped me to vent, helped me to get others to know about IF, and helped me to gain some peace.
ReplyDelete