Apparently I am becoming an "issue" writer. I think it stems from all the assvice, advice, "they say" passive agressiveness, and what-not that comes along with having a child. I will admit, sometimes I jump the gun. Because I anticipate the things that will be important to me, and the reactions from people to those things. Or, issues that could arise.
Bodies. As in our human bodies. As in I don't always feel the need to cover mine, and I also don't want my son (and other children???) to feel that their bodies are something to be covered and be ashamed of. Now, my mom walked around all the time naked in front of us. I didn't care...the younger sisters apparently managed more social input and were thoroughly embarassed.
In fact, I distinctly remember the day my mother made me put a shirt on outside in the summer for the first time. I think I was around 5 years old. And I was PISSED. She tried to explain to me. You know, "People are uncomfortable" etc etc etc. No, I didn't understand. At all. It's difficult to go from naked child to covered-up child. I think that may have been my first real experience with social constraints. I was not pleased. To this day I feel more comfortable nude than in revealing clothing...
So, my poor kid is going to have a fairly nudist mom. And people get in SUCH an uproar about that. As in child abuse allegations uproar. But, and correct me if I'm wrong, my little man has spent an inordinate amount of time attached to my naked wobbly bits. I realize this will not stick in his long-term memory. But at the same time, I'm not sure I care if it does. I don't want him growing up with the media's hype over nudity. I want him to know that our bodies are natural, that it's okay to be comfortable in your own skin.
I would NEVER go so far as to be nude in front of other people's children - that is their call to make.
I haven't had the time to research, but logic leads me to believe that children of nudists are no more screwed up than children of, say, 7th Day Adventists. A healthy body image is so important! And children of cultures where nudity is the norm come out, join the "Western" world, and see to be fine. I think. Based on my admittedly limited observations in one particular culture.
I guess where I am going with this is ...
What are your feelings? Yes, my decision, etc, but I just wonder if you've considered at what point to cover up. Where do you draw the line? AND, is it necessary? I'm not saying I am going to take baths with my kid forever, but I don't know that being all cover-up-bodies-are-bad is something I want either.
Thoughts? And PLEASE be respectful. Thanks!
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I agree. I'm not sure what the big deal is (let alone why it lays you open for allegations of child abuse) about letting your child know that you have *gasp* a body. Or what sorts of terrible psychological damage it's supposed to cause if baby sees daddy's willie or mommy's hoo-ha. (No, I do not actually use the term 'hoo-ha' in everyday speech.) Not sure what's so traumatic about seeing that my parents are built just like everyone else. I'm toying with the idea of taking Gabe on naturist holidays when he's a little older. Hubby hasn't refused, so that's a start...
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% with this post. I too grew up in an open-door family. Alex and I are comfortable enough to walk around our apartment in the nude and have actively sought out family-friendly naturist communities that we would feel comfortable bringing future children to. People who believe that not being ashamed of the human body is abuse...wow...I'm sorry that you've even had to hear that. As far as drawing the line, I feel like that will get figured out when the time comes. I assume it's like what I've read about co-sleeping or breastfeeding: the comfort level of everyone involved will alter and change will happen naturally.
ReplyDeleteWow....well, Kakunaa, I will say that you just do whatever you want to do, and as long as you and hubby are comfy with it.
ReplyDeleteI am not a nudist, but I tend to just walk around in a long T-shirt at home, and even sleep in one. I only have my PJs on when there are other people at home or I am expecting someone at the door.
I wonder if I will be able to do it after my baby arrives and when the baby is able to 'realize' and all. That's a decision I have left for that time.
But yeah, if you can carry it, you can do it.
Nothing wrong with being nudey. Just not in the middle of town or in front of a freaked out teenager.
ReplyDeleteUm, my thought is that no one who thinks this is an issue has ever tried to navigate a public restroom, to buy (try on) clothes, or to go swimming with their 4-year old. Because if you think my 4-year old can be told to just "wait outside" or "get yourself changed," you -- the generic you -- are living in an alternate universe.
ReplyDeleteI'm not modest, but even if I wanted to be, it would hardly work. About a year ago (if that) I did take to locking the door when I use the bathroom in my own house so that I can have a tad of privacy, though even that was at first controversial (with DS). Try it in a public restroom and he just crawls under the door at which point, believe me, the least of your worries is your nudity. Here's to healthy immune systems!
I'm not the person to ask, I think everyone should be naked, lol. Boyfriend showers Babe, everyone runs around reminding the other to close blinds or find underpants or something crazy. Nobody has said anything to us and if they did I'd probably flash them so... you know. Folks who love "dressed" call first to tell us they're coming over.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely a "you do whatever you want and I'll do what I want and it won't hurt either of us" kind of gal. So, you do whatever you want!
ReplyDeleteMy stepdad always wanders around in his tighty-whiteys and I was totally used to it as a kid. My mother and I are perfectly comfortable naked around each other. When I was at the bra store the other day, there was a teenager buying a bra and she wouldn't let her mother anywhere near the dressing room. She wouldn't even let her in to turn her back to her and try her own bra on. It made me a little sad. I mean, I understand the teenage body issues thing, but this is your mother! She's kind of seen it already...
Apparently I'm the only one who likes to be covered who is commenting...haha.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I'm completely modest and spend most of my days running around with pants, long sleeve shirts, and socks on (I do live in Alaska :) However, the amount of clothes definitely decreases when we are in Louisiana during the middle of summer. :)
Anyway, back to the point. Seriously, why do people think they get to moderate how another person lives? Do what you want to do! Love your kid. Feed your kid. Provide shelter for them. The rest is up to you. Just my two cents. :)