PYHO: Valid

One of the things I absolutely love about the blogging community, and the ALI community specifically is the level of support.  It is AMAZING! 

 

And it does not come easily.  For those of us who have crossed over "that line", the one into motherhood, we sometimes have to tread lightly.  We know how much it hurts to hear Pg announcements, see bumps, hear complaints. 

 

Having said that, I have had a couple of friends recently, one pregnant, one just recently delivered, both of whom feel as though they have to put forward an "I'm so happy" face, despite struggles or what-have-you.

 

Here's the thing, and I told one of my friends this last night:

 

"In sharing this journey, we should be able to share all of it. We go in with this hope of perfection. And then life dumps more crap on our happily ever after, and our disappointment is no less valid because we struggled to get here."

I firmly believe this.  These blogs are our place to share.  And I know it can be difficult for others to read. I also think that straight up flaming of someone's post is not okay.  Really.  We all put ourselves out there.  And the way we feel, it's valid.  

I hate to think any of us feel like we have to sugar coat something to protect others.  Sure, there are ways of being diplomatic, but, you know, you don't know someone else's situation until you've walked a mile in their shoes. 

On top of it being hell to get where we are, some of us also have hellish pregnancies.  And then, becoming a parent, it's not easy.  Oh, we love EVERY MINUTE of it.  But it also has its challenges.  And some of them are insanely frustrating, even disheartening.  There are days of no sleep.  Disappointment once again when our bodies don't do what we had hoped.  And the feeling as though all of our preparation, our dreaming, our fantasizing of motherhood has been for nought.  Because we have NO IDEA what we are doing.  Not a clue.  And more than ever, we need your support, in knowing that we can do this, this next step.  It's what we are all trying for, and we still need you in our lives, even if the direction of our thoughts and what we express have changed.  

We spend months, years, pouring our hearts out about the struggles of becoming parents.  Should we no longer pour out our hearts?  I think that is unreasonable.  We lose followers, and we understand why.  

But please, PLEASE, don't flame us.  Don't expect perfection.  It's never going to be rainbows and butterflies all the time.  We still need you.  We have NOT forgotten where we came from, what it took to get here.  I promise you that.  And we will be behind you all until you attain sleepless nights, boobs that won't put out, pee on your work clothes, and a prayer that you aren't fucking it all up too much.


What we feel is valid.  It's not complaining...it's more sharing of our experiences.  It is truth.  That is what we do here, in our little world.   Please let us continue to be part of it.