Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Cherry Pie With A Peanut On Top

Well, after much encouragement from my Tweeps, a plan in place, and a baby monitor next to us, Hubby and I FINALLY took the plunge and popped that postpartum cherry.

Yes.  6 MONTHS post partum.  8 months since any nookie. 

I have been soooo nervous about going there.  And so tired and with absolutely NO sex drive.  So. I just didn't care.  But with Hubby leaving for 3 months, I thought we ought to give it a shot.  After our date failed epically on Monday with only dinner, no movie, and me in bed at 8pm, I told him that Friday was IT. 

Yup, we scheduled it.  No shame here.  Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right?

The plan was to put P down in the crib.  You know, that thing people buy for their children to sleep in?  One of those big, expensive items that we agonize over for weeks about?  Convertible, not convertible?  What type of mattress?  What color?  Matching set?  Too tall?  Too short?  You get the idea.  The same crib that 6 months later has held blankets, stuffed animals, clothing, diapers...pretty much anything BUT the kid.  He has been in there as much as...10 minutes at a stretch while I did things in the room.  Maybe. 

But Friday night was to be different.  P is usually (but never regularly) dozing on my boob by around 8 pm.  So into the crib he was to go.  He dozed.  I tweeted that THE DEED was about to happen. I stood up...

And he woke up. 

I sat back down, switched boobs.  Thought better of it.  Went upstairs to the nursery.  Changed his butt (and his clothes after he knocked the diaper wipe container on its side spilling diaper wipe solution on the table rendering it quite damp and slick).  Sat in the rocker.  Pulled out other boob.  And watched him chew on his fingers, grin at me, stare at the stuff on the walls, and babble away.  At 8:45 pm. 

Desperate times, folks, desperate times. 

I turned out the big light, turned on the small light and PUT HIM IN THE CRIB.  Awake.  Turned on the mobile (I hear babies like them...) (and which really ought to have a silent mode), and left the room.  With him awake. 

WHAAAAATTT????  I hear people do this.  As a matter of normal daily proceedings.  It is fairly incomprehensible to me. 

So, run upstairs, get undressed, climb in bed, Hubby is NAKED!  What is this naked thing?  He must actually want to get some nookie!  (Oh, please, please, PLEASE do not let my family be reading this!!!).  What comes next???  I honestly am not sure what to do now...

And all I can think about is the monitor right next to us...and all I hear is the music from the mobile, and I keep wondering if he is okay or still playing, it is hard to concentrate! 

But, I did it!  Despite the fact that I don't feel in the least bit sexy.  And my tatas are sooo off limits because they are P's food source!  Back off everyone!  And while it was initially a bit hurty, it was so worth it.

And P was fussy within 5 minutes.  Soooo, no snuggle time.  P back in bed with us where I felt much better about his well-being.

Was it worth jumping that hurdle?  Absolutely :-)  Will it be a hurdle again?  I think so.  I have a mental block.  Sleep and time with baby trumps all unless I push it.  So, in the name of keeping my marriage sane, it is time to start making time for alone time with Hubby.  Especially with him being gone a lot. 

We need it.  I can't forget that our marriage is a priority, too. 


  1. Great post. We don't even have a baby yet and I suffer from similar issues. But we saw a therapist about it, and she recommended doing exactly what you did (see free advice)- schedule it and make it a priority. Because, it too is important. At least you see now P made it safely!

  2. Woo-hoo!!!

    Just keep doing it. ;)

  3. You are so funny! This is one thing we didn't have an issue with, I'm sure thanks in part to the fact Aidan's adopted. But also because we're a couple of opportunists. Baby down for an hour nap? BAM! ;)

  4. Awesome! And, even without a baby, yet, I totally get the need to schedule it after all of this stress. Up until now, TTC has scheduled it for us so, even if we never "felt" like it, I at least knew SOMETHING would happen and I could believe all was still OK. With IVF and whatever comes after, it has become the lowest priority possible. Which sucks. Gotta work on that.


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