Owwww

So, I started a workout and diet regimen.  I think I might be dying.

Okay, maybe I'm not dying, but O. M. G.

I gave up carbs.  I WANT BREAD so badly.  Like I dream about quesadillas and Subway.  And I gave up sugar (except for my coffee creamer).  I want ICE CREAM.  I'm not kidding.  I'm feeling like all I want are things that are bad for me.  Isn't that supposed to go away?  Aren't you supposed to happily crave all things good after a little bit?  Yeah, not happening here.  I want all the fatty, carby things.

I started the Bikini Body Mommy 90 day challenge.  I joined on day 15, so it's really the 75 day challenge for me.  You know that awesome sore from working out that makes you feel so good?  Good hurt?  I don't have that.  I am hobbling.  As of today I have shin splints.  I am MISERABLE.

I hate my body.  I do.  I HATE it.  I can't stand looking in the mirror.  I don't want to be naked (and I hate clothes).  I don't want anyone looking at me.  I'm embarassed by the extra baby/medication weight I am carrying around.  But I'm so so sore and hungry.  This shit is hard.

I wish I could have a gym membership, have time to go, and could go when they can watch the kids so I can work out at a pace and style that better suits me.

I haven't done a weigh-in yet.  That happens every 2 weeks.  So I'm hoping to see some improvement when that day happens, because honestly, if I don't see SOME sort of change, I'm going to be very disheartened and inclined to quit the pain.

I know, lifestyle changes are hard.  But I'm not really up for hurting myself in the quest for weight loss.  There has got to be a less painful way....