So, I started a workout and diet regimen. I think I might be dying.
Okay, maybe I'm not dying, but O. M. G.
I gave up carbs. I WANT BREAD so badly. Like I dream about quesadillas and Subway. And I gave up sugar (except for my coffee creamer). I want ICE CREAM. I'm not kidding. I'm feeling like all I want are things that are bad for me. Isn't that supposed to go away? Aren't you supposed to happily crave all things good after a little bit? Yeah, not happening here. I want all the fatty, carby things.
I started the Bikini Body Mommy 90 day challenge. I joined on day 15, so it's really the 75 day challenge for me. You know that awesome sore from working out that makes you feel so good? Good hurt? I don't have that. I am hobbling. As of today I have shin splints. I am MISERABLE.
I hate my body. I do. I HATE it. I can't stand looking in the mirror. I don't want to be naked (and I hate clothes). I don't want anyone looking at me. I'm embarassed by the extra baby/medication weight I am carrying around. But I'm so so sore and hungry. This shit is hard.
I wish I could have a gym membership, have time to go, and could go when they can watch the kids so I can work out at a pace and style that better suits me.
I haven't done a weigh-in yet. That happens every 2 weeks. So I'm hoping to see some improvement when that day happens, because honestly, if I don't see SOME sort of change, I'm going to be very disheartened and inclined to quit the pain.
I know, lifestyle changes are hard. But I'm not really up for hurting myself in the quest for weight loss. There has got to be a less painful way....