Monday, January 13, 2014

On Hold

We gave up potty training again for the time being.  I made it longer this time than last.  There are 2 camps of thought re: potty training.

Ready or Not Ready.

No Such Thing As Ready or Not Ready.

The question is, which do I believe in?  Because if I believe in the first, he's not ready.  If I believe in the second, he's totally capable and just being stubborn which happens.

So I'm doing some reading, will make a decision, and when PT starts again we are staying quiet so I don't get the conflicting advice which ends up making me doubt my own decisions.

Why do I think he's capable?  He can read.  If he can teach himself to read he can understand that poop and pee go in a potty.  He would wait until we weren't looking to go - meaning he knows he's doing it.  This sort of thought process puts me in the "No such thing" category.  I believe he can learn and that he doesn't have to be "ready".

HOWEVER, he is ridiculously willful, and so perhaps he does personally have to be "ready".  That's where I waver.  He never did trial and error with any skills.  He waited until he knew he could do them, and then just did them.  Like with crawling and walking and rolling.  All of it.  And he recently gave up his version of a paci (a nasty old sippy cup) on his own.  So perhaps there is no fighting this kid.  Perhaps he WILL have a "ready" time.

Anyway, it's on hold again.  We're not over the average age for boys, so no worrying yet. I just REALLY want to be down to 1 in diapers.  I feel like he should be doing more things for himself than he is and that is my fault.  But what do I know?  I'm making up this whole parenting thing as I go along.


  1. Gen seriously, he can read and he's not even 3!! He is obviously stubborn and wan to to do it his way, of course he knows, he just doesn't want to do it for you, he will do it when he feels i's something for himself. With such a character, do you really want to fight it? I bet he will tell you one day out of the blue he has to pee and where did you put the potty. It's NOT something you are failing at, it's not something you have to have a time frame for, I think maybe you feel this way because he rolled when he was about 2 weeks old, he crawled and walked very early, but just let him be for now, so what if in potty training he is not the first of his class? Don't take it as a personal defeat because you gave up, you didn't give up, you realised he doesn't want to do it yet and you are respecting his will. Are you back in disposable or are you in cloth? Put him in cloth if you are on disposable, maybe the change will trigger something in his mind. Love.

  2. George basically trained himself to use the potty. Had few accidents, which we 'cured' with bribes (no more vacuuming if you don't go on the toilet NOW). And bribes are resorted to when he refuses to go when he should, before leaving the house, after waking up, and such. But I thunk we are over that as well. Just because he can, does not mean he is ready for it. Have patience. Don't push it. He will do it when he wants to and si ready for it, which is when you want him to. :-)
    Seriously, let him lead, and the fights will vanish. George used the potty for two months during the summer, and since then, he only uses the toilet. Why would you want him to pee standing up so early? Do you need MORE messes to clean up? Let him sit for as long as possible, aim is an issue even for adults, and the last drops never make it into the bowl, so if ADULTS cannot manage it, why expect a little boy to do it?
    Start small. First mornings, then the entire day, nappies only for naps and night time. He will go without napoy for naps pretty soon afterwards, and then he will decide when it is time to go nappiless for the night - but this might take a year or so, i hear. George wakes up dry most nights, but he sleeps in the top bunk bed, so for now, until going to the toilet during the night is easier, nappy on it is.
    Good luck. Trust your kid more, if he does not want to throw the nappy just yet, let him be, and next time toilet training is on, it will be for real.
    Reading?! Crazy! He is such an adorable feisty kid. :-)


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