A couple weeks ago at Hubby's company Christmas party I was getting antsy to leave. Things were winding down, but people were still happily talking and hanging out. I said, "I want to go home and see the kids." Someone, not yet a parent, said, "Aren't they asleep, though?" I said that yes, they were, but I wanted to watch them breathe. He was baffled. His fiance laughed, and I just told him that one day he would get it.
P is nearly 3 years old and I still like to creep in his room and watch him sleep, watch his chest rise and fall, touch his sweet face, kiss it. While he is asleep I still see my little baby. He is growing so fast, learning so much, but asleep he is my sweet not threenager baby.
Finn is still my tiny. Sometimes I have a difficult time falling asleep because I just want to watch him sleep. 8 months in and the miracle that he is mine is still alive and well. I listen to his breathing to lull me to sleep. I try to take it all in.
It goes so fast that I don't want to miss a moment. Even when I can't wait for a few moments to myself, I end up spending them watching my kids sleep. I can't be the only mom who does this.
One of my favorite books as a child was Love You Forever, which I still need to purchase for myself. It always made me weepy. I was sentimental even then. But now, now that I have my own little ones, I UNDERSTAND it. The urge to hold my babies even while they sleep, to rock them. Because they will always be my babies. Until the day I die.