It's been well over a year since I've had sex. Like when Finn was conceived long time. I can't do it. The only reason Finn was conceived is that I was self-medicating. When I got pregnant and spent time in the hospital all that stopped. And apparently so did my ability to have sex.
Which all stems from the rape.
I was talking to a friend recently and she said it sounds like PTSD. I had never considered that. I know I need therapy, I just DON'T WANT TO DO IT. Because I don't want to think about it any more than I already do.
But the current situation isn't healthy and is extremely unfair to Hubby.
Why can't I just stay in denial and avoidance?