Monday, January 6, 2014

You Know You're A Parent When... sacrifice the larger bedroom to your children to save your living room from being a clusterfuck all the time.  And because all you do is sleep* in your room anyway.

...broken bananas make you want to cry because they make your child cry. go to bed when the kids do if you actually want to get sleep*.

...your bathtub is filled with toys that you try not to break your neck on every time you shower**.

...your house is a disaster area ALWAYS and you've given up on it ever looking nice.

...your fridge has marker on it.  So do your walls, dressers, windowsills, and mini blinds.

...goldfish are a food group.  The crackers.  Not real goldfish. consider a shower** your most peaceful and sacred time of day.

...Dr. Seuss is all you're reading these days.  Unless you can squeeze in 5 minutes of alone time.  During which time you probably wish you were getting sleep*.'ve considered covering your floors with tarps.

Just a few tidbits.

*Sleep is a myth.  One night Finn slept 6 hours straight.  I got 5.5.  I woke up at 2 am refreshed and ready to go.  It was amazing.  It may never happen again.  I can't remember the last time I had regular sleep.

**Showers are also a myth.  Hubby gets them every day. I aim for every 3.  I love showers.  I miss them.

DISCLAIMER:  I wouldn't trade any of this for the world.  But I might for just one night of solid sleep and a longer than 3 minute shower.  So I just want 8 hours and 15 minutes. Then I'm good to go for a long time again.

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