This mama needs to make some changes. My former libido, well, let's just say that a three-toed sloth only needs 1 foot to count how many times I've knocked boots this year.
A plan is required.
Step one began yesterday. 30 min cardio every day after work. I have to start slowly as I am so out of shape, but it's a start. I will work up to heavier cardio. With any luck this will jump-start my metabolism. Until I can feel good about my body again, I will have some serious issues letting someone else have access to it. I'm not confident in being sexy right now. More like frumpy and fat.
Step two: I HAVE to find the time to shave. I am Chewbaca. I hate doing it, I hate the time involved, I hate that it takes something that is totally sexist to make me feel sexy, but maybe it will help. For now anyway. You know, pretend I am a girl as well as a sleep-deprived Mama with no free time.
Step three: Began this last night as well. Crib transitioning. So that there is not a baby between us at night. The crib is now riding sidecar toddler bed style, mattresses at the same level. Now I just have to get Hubby to come to bed before, oh, 1:30 am when there is no way in hell he is getting laid as I only have 2 more hours to sleep. Hopefully this will change some WHEN he is working. (Positive thinking).
Step four: This will be difficult. The zoloft has killed my sex drive, BUT I had a seriously racy dream last night, so maybe things are getting moving in the right direction. I need to make time to actually interact like a married person with Hubby. I mean, kisses, PHYSICAL CONTACT. The way I feel these days, I kinda just want to be left alone, but everything takes work, so I have to overcome the numb.
Step five: Date nights? I would love to implement these. First we need money for a sitter...and the insanity of the holidays needs to pass. Then maybe? I hope? Not that we had these before, but when it was just the 2 of us, it wasn't really necessary. We don't even really cuddle any more. So sad. Time to fix this. But after the holidays and WHEN Hubs has a job. (see the positivity?)
So that is my 5-step plan.
Thoughts? Ideas? Help me have a marriage again, please. I have attached so much of my identity to that little butterball that I seem to have forgotten what got me here.