11 Days of Amazement

So, I have posts planned about the hospital stay, and our first few days home...but, well, I'm behind on everything, LOL. 

But I wanted to thank you all for all the kind wishes and comments and love you all have showered upon us!  We are happy as pigs in shit, let me tell you!  Although, I have decided to rename myself "Sleepless In Slatington."

We feel so incredibly blessed by our little boy.  Every day he amazes us...and right now he pretty much just sleeps and eats, LOL.  I'm so glad my body waited to evict him until just long enough to avoid NICU time, and that we got to bring him home with us.  He might be teeny, but he's strong and even surprised the nurses with his quick grasp of breastfeeding and insanely calm demeanor. 

Quick stat update:

• Weight at birth: 4lb 8oz
• Weight at discharge: 4lb 1oz
• Weight at Ped appt 3/24/11: 4lb 6oz
• Weight at Ped appt 3/31/11: 4lb 4oz

So, after we stopped supplementing when my milk came in he dropped a bit of weight.  I was a basket case...still am a bit.  2 oz is a lot in our little guy.  BUT to be fair, he was battling jaundice for several days, so that could be the cause.  Still, to be safe, we are supplementing again for another few days.  It's hard, though, because I have to use formula as I haven't had a chance to pump yet (his schedule is still a bit erratic, but I'm hoping to get on that), and since my milk seems to be plentiful, using the SNS system overwhelms him, and then he spits up...which to me seems to defeat the purpose.  So...I think I will have to try and sneak in a couple bottles until I can pump, hopefully tomorrow. 

He has a nasty diaper rash where his thighs meet his groin...as though his skin has rubbed raw, which made me feel horrible, and a case of thrush, which is normal, but still...I'm having such a hard time with anything that can hurt him. 

It took 10 days, but my edema has finally gone, thank goodness!  More on that in another post.  And as of yesterday, I'm 11 pounds down with 35 to go.

I miss my bump, the closeness of him inside me...and I'm weeping thinking about it, that it may never happen again.  Baby Blues are NO JOKE.  Not that I would trade him for anything...I am just super emotional and every now and then put my hand on my belly expecting kicks.  I cry about EVERYTHING.  I cry worrying about him, I cry seeing Hubby with him - the most wonderful surprise of this has been seeing Hubby with his son, the tenderness, the love, the intimacy.  He is so good with him.  So good.  It's beautiful to see.  I want to bottle it. 

I want to slow time down...it's going too quickly and I'm too catatonic to fully appreciate it.  I am already dreading returning to work.  To which end, we toured the day care today...and I'm comfortable with them...but not with ever letting him out of my sight, LOL.  I panic about him not growing while wishing he could stay tiny forever...logic does not live here.

I have become that obsessed, addicted to my child, paranoid mother.  I don't even have the words to express everything right now, you guys, I just don't.  Please be patient with me.  And look for those other posts I mentioned, and know that I'm trying to at least read the basic beginnings of your posts from my reader, even if I am not commenting.  There is just too much to catch up on.   I love you all!

I am going to leave you with some quick photos...and soon, a video of the coolest thing EVER.  Here's my amazing, teeny kiddo. 

Peanut just moments old

First family photo

Poor Peanut did not want to be awake.  This is his
cousin, CJ...she's 7 months old.



He always puts his hands up by his face when sleeping.



One of the few times he isn't making crazy faces, LOL.

I have never seen a baby do this...

My 2 guys...

He is starting to have brief alert periods...this is his
"Home Alone" look

International Man of Mystery

Thank you again for all the well wishes...we are feeling so loved by you all!

And Then There Were Three

Well, I can't think of a better way to celebrate my 1 year Blogoversary, as well as my 300th post (hey, I am counting Kir's posts - thank you thank you thank you Kir) than with my son's (!!!) Birth Story. 

As you know, I was released from bedrest on Tuesday March 15.  I promptly nested like a mad woman, and made plans for my pregnancy massage, our taxes, and to finish the house this week.  Other than being tired and a bit on the weak side, I was feeling great!  Because I could finally prepare for Cricket's arrival.  I even went out Friday to a friend's birthday party for her daughter.  Saturday I was worn out though from the week, and rested.  I hadn't been having contractions, and had decided Cricket was going to surprise us all and make me wait 5 more weeks.  Turns out I had been having contractions, but after 2 months, I didn't notice them anymore!

Sunday morning I was dozing, ignoring the cat scratching at the door. I managed to ignore it and continued drifting in and out of sleep...until I felt warm liquid come out of me.  I thought, "Great, I peed myself."  Went to the bathroom, and dribbled out a little more pee, confirming my thought that I had peed, because it was a small pee.  I even posted on FB: "The cat scratching at the door I could ignore. Peeing myself, not so much, LOL".  I went downstairs to get a snack, and hmmmm, did I just pee myself again???  Wait - no - really?  This started at 8 am.

Back up to the bedroom.  Said to Hubby, "Hubby, sweetie, I didn't pee my pants."  H: "Huh?"  Me: "Time to wake up, we're having a baby today." H: "Your water broke!"  LOL. 

I called my mom, who was sleeping.  Stepdad didn't want to wake her up until I told him I needed to see if she could give me any input on whether my water had indeed broken...he got her up pretty darn quickly after that, LOL.

As I talked to her, I started finding clothes, and pulling together the stuff I hadn't packed for the hospital yet.  We agreed it was time to call the doctor, and as I gushed again, I did so.  I put a pad on and got the go-ahead to head to the hospital.  But I totally needed to finish packing and get a shower.  Called Mom, let her know we'd be heading to the hospital after I showered.  Told Hubby same (who at this point is dressed and looking a little freaked at my calmness).  Both of them said, "Shower????"  I pointed out it might be a few days before I could shower, and as I wasn't having contractions, we had plenty of time. 

We were admitted to L&D at 10 am.  I was still quite calm, rather excited, and by this time, soaking wet.  Like wearing a heavy wet diaper.  I chatted with the admisson lady, who was in shock - apparently most women don't come in all smiley and chatty, they just kinda stand there.  I mentioned that I can't for the life of me figure out why children don't want to potty train earlier since a heavy wet diaper feels really icky.  I was a one-woman comedy show!  Most of my stay was spent cracking some nurse or doctor up...I'm not exactly your standard goo-goo ga-ga mom, LOL. 

*** Of special note: I shouldn't be surprised my water broke when it did.  Super Moon meets Vernal Equinox???  The L&D staff all looked a little worn out - it was a busy weekend for them!***

We were in triage for nearly 3 hours - we verified that I had ruptured and a resident came and did an internal.  Quite happily, I found I was 3-4 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  Like I said, I simply got so used to the contractions that I didn't feel them.  I still wasn't contracting regularly, but hey!  I was already in Stage 2!  Totally exciting!  I was rarin' to go.  I asked when we would have a room so I could get up and move around to really get things moving.  Because they had been so busy, they were simply waiting for a room to be cleaned, and by 1 we were settled in.

We walked the halls for about half an hour, and I started having contractions, but the second I stopped moving, so did they.  My OB decided since I was preterm to start a pitocin drip to try and move things along faster so that he wasn't affected by the lack of fluid.  Boooo, but no choice.  Thus ended my hall wandering and that's when I had to start letting go of my birth plan. 

Pitocin drip began at 2, and again, began contracting, and I sent Hubby for a walk.  Right after that, Cricket's heartbeat took a serious dip.  Next thing I know, the room is full of nurses, an oxygen mask is on me, and I am being tossed from side to side to find the hb.  Hubby walked in on the chaos.  I wasn't nervous yet, though. We pulled the Pitocin and waited for Cricket to recover.  No change in dilation yet.

We waited 2 hours.  We had music going, me chowing on jello, a regular party...with NOTHING HAPPENING.  At around 5 maybe? we started the Pitocin again, and this time, we made it quite a bit further.  The epidural guy kept checking in to see if I wanted one, but I was determined.  I was having contractions about 80 seconds long, maybe 20 seconds of a break in between and feeling them pretty good.  Once again, I sent Hubby for a snack...wanted him to get out while he could.   Poor guy....came back and what does he find?  Me being tossed from side to side, oxygen on, and this time, sobbing.  Cricket's hb dropped again.  So, the OB checks me....now I'm pushing 5 cm...but that's not a large change in nearly 12 hours.  At this point discussion of a possible c-section began, but I was determined to stay positive.  But now I was scared.  Which made the internal check horrid and I totally screamed - OUCH!  OB's should have to have tiny hands.

Around this time my sister showed up with caffeine and motrin for Hubby - gotta love Littlest, LOL.  I decided to have the epidural for 2 reasons.  First, it was looking to be a loooooonnnnnng night, and I didn't think my energy would last with no rest.  Second, if we had to do a c-section, one step was out of the way.  I pulled out all my piercings as well. 

They also decided to put in an IUPC (intrauterine pressure catheter) to measure my contractions from the inside to see what the hell was going on.  Of course, it took a couple tries to get it up there.  Why would it be easy?  But that's okay, we got it done.
 
Now, not surprisingly, the epidural didn't go so well, either.  Seriously, why would it?  It took at least twice the normal time to get in - turns out my vertebrae are rotated and he couldn't find the space for the thingy.  Poor Hubby had to leave the room - he wanted to punch this guy for hurting me, LOL. But as usual, we did get it done and 10 minutes later I was giggling about the weirdness of it.  Look!  There's my legs!  But I can't feel them!  I also couldn't feel contractions AT ALL.  Weird to see stuff on the monitor but not know it's going on.

So, 10 pm, one last shot at the Pitocin.  Made it half an hour again.  Hubby had stepped out, so you KNOW what happened.  Yup.  Comes back in to chaos and wifey tossing again.  The OB looks at me and says, "You know what this means, right?"  Yeah...fuck.  C-section.  Shit, they called the OR faster than I thought possible.  I made a couple quick calls to family, and he called his.  Baby coming NOW!  That was at just after 10:30.

At 10:50 we were in the OR and I was finally calm.  I had looked at the epidural guy when the decision was made and told him he'd better give me a sedative - I was a wreck at this point.  So he did.  Oh, I love the epidural guy.  I'm hollering, "Don't forget to let my husband in!  Where is he????"  As soon as he was gowned up, he came in and sat by me, and the fun began.  Why do they have to put your arms out like that?  I think I mentioned something along the lines of having a Jesus on the cross thing going on - soooo bad of me.  But really?  That's what I felt like!  I felt the weirdest sensation as they shaved me, and then saw the bottle of that orange stuff come out, and I knew the show was on the road. 

Very soon I felt the tugging and pulling I have heard so much about, and now I'm hollering at Hubby, "You have to watch!  I can't, so you have to!  This is our kid being born!!!"  He refused...a little too freaky for him, LOL. 

And then there was a cry. 

And Hubby was GONE. They whisked away my kid before I even saw to make sure he was okay.  Except, no one told me he was a he.  Or a she.  They're busy putting me back together, and Hubby's with him, and I finally said, "Ummm, excuse me, could you tell me WHAT I HAD???"  Somewhere behind me I hear "boy" and I thought they had to be talking about something else.  I said, "I don't have boys.  Can you double check?"  Cue laughter.  Hubby pokes his head around and says, "It's a boy, I win."  SHOCK.  Okay, okay, it's a boy...I can change my pronouns.  Wait, is he okay?  "Does he have all his bits???  Is he okay???"  Answer being yes, I immediately started sobbing...relief?  I don't know.  "Are you sure, are you sure?"  "Yes, honey, he's perfect."  "When can I see him????  Why isn't anyone showing me my kid??" 

Once he was finished with his intial eval and clean up, Hubby brought him over so I could see and so we could get pics.  I think I just stared - really?  This little tiny being just came out of me?  This is the creature who has been kicking me for months?  SHOCK.  Hubby is all grins and "I have a son!"  And I am just ... relieved.  So much for instant bonding, LOL.  I blame the drugs. 

There is a blank spot here for about an hour.  Next thing I remember is looking around me and saying,
"Where are we?"  Oh!  Recovery!  Wait, it's what time?  Did we call the parents?  We have to call the parents.  Where's my kid?  Turns out he had to go for a fuller eval and bath and whatnot, so we called the parents.  Me: "Mom..." Mom: "Are you okay????"  Me: "You have a grandson." Mom: "She's here!  Wait...did you say grandson?  Are you sure?"  LMAO.  "Hold on, I have to tell Lil Sis.  It's a boy."  Lil Sis: "Are you sure?"  Mom: "That's what I said and she said."  LMAO.  (Suffice it to say it took us all days to totally get the pronouns right...and that's with a concerted effort...my brain still says "she".)  Next conversation went like this:  Me: "You have a grandson." Dad: "I have a grandson!!!!!"  He didn't ask for verification, LOL.  We gave the stats, and I believe Hubby called his family. 

Where is my kid?????  I lose another hour here...2 am arrives, and FINALLY, they bring me my son.  (Twitch...it's still weird to say that.  I have a SON, I have a SON.) 

And he is tiny and perfect.  And mine.  And ummm, whoa, this kid came from me.  Yeah, it took a while to settle in, LOL.  I held him, skin to skin, had my first lesson in breastfeeding, and laid him on my chest.  And argued when they took him away from me.  Apparently they can't leave a baby in the room overnight with someone heavily medicated and unable to move their legs.  LOL.  But they assured me they would bring him any time I asked.  Oh, but I didn't want to let him go.  Weird shock feelings aside, all I wanted to do was hold him, look at him, learn him, so that I COULD get over the shock.  Holy shit, we had a baby.

We got moved to a postpartum room, and I kicked Hubby out once he got me settled to go get some sleep.  And I laid there and tried to grasp the day...

And so, on the day of the Super Moon and Vernal Equinox, my little Earth baby came to stay...

And then there were 3.

Some Pictures of Phelan

Hi all,
I got to see our new mommy last night. She looks good and once she starts to feel better, a c-section can really do a number on the whole "moving around " thoughts.

But her hugs were strong and her love for the this little guy was evident. We talked and laughed, I will let her tell you the story, how surprised she was that "CRICKET" was really a bouncing baby boy and how from the moment he was born her hubby has been "on cloud 9" and "completely in love".

I forgot how nice it is to hold a tiny, tiny, baby. It's amazing to me that at 4lbs and 7 oz, he is so good at nursing, once he was fed last night he literally didn't cry the whole time I was there. Opened his eyes and looked around, was just a little doll. I loved holding him and remembering the feel of a little person in my arms.

His nickname has become "PEANUT" and it fits, he really is. A gorgeous little Peanut.

Phelan and Mommy

How gorgeous is this little guy???

one of my favorite pictures of him.

Daddy & Phelan *LOVE*

right on Mommy's chest, best place to be.

another favorite of mine, Mommy and Me.

Mommy says Hi and she'll get back to the computer as soon as she can. She may be coming home in the next few days, but the decision is still in the air depending on how she's healing. I'll keep you updated.

**Kir **

Cricket is Born: It's a BOY !!!! :)

I am sorry this is late my friends, I was asleep. But while I was dreaming, Cricket was entering the world


PHELAN SHEL RICHARDSON
Born at 11:12pm
4lbs, 8oz 17inches long
No NICU stay (go Phelan)

Both mommy, baby and daddy are all doing well
Daddy is "on cloud 9" according to mommy.

I'm so excited, aren't you???

I will post pictures in a few hours.

**Kir

First Update on Cricket

HI all,
I know that you are all waiting but  there ISN'T MUCH TO TELL YET.
I swear.
I've been in touch with our girl all day:
at the ER at about 11:30 or so , she was 3-4 cm dialed and 80% effaced.
2pm they started Pitocin
by 5:45 or so, there still wasn't much happening. If they turned the meds down, the contractions would slow down too...so there was talk about epidurals and a c-section if need be.

But it's now 7:48 EST and I haven't heard another thing. I know that all of you are keeping her in your prayers and thoughts and I know she APPRECIATES that. She's excited and so ready to be a mom.

if I hear anything else before morning, I'll update again.

xo
**Kir

Thundercats Are Go!

Look for updates from Kir while I am in the hospital!

35w0d - 35 Days To Go!

WEEKLY UPDATE

How far along: 35 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of a honeydew. Cricket doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Total Weight Gain: 159.2 lbs - 45.5 lbs! Eek! I give up, LOL.

Maternity clothes: Running out of things to wear, LOL. 

Sleep: This week has begun the "OMG it's hard to get comfortable!" phase.

Movement: Cricket has been more active this week than in past weeks, despite it being cramped in there.  Wednesday night she did a whole headspin thing that had me going, "Ow ow ow what are you doing????"  And then relief for a couple of days as she had settled a bit lower.  I think she switched from butt on right to butt by belly button, but who knows, LOL. 

Cravings/Aversions: Cravings: All things potato. Aversions: Red meat.

Sex: Now that I can play, of course, it hasn't happened.  Thank goodness for B.O.B.  Hubby stays up half the night playing games in the man cave.  Obviously our priorities are different.  Sigh.

Symptoms: HB not as bad this week, thank goodness.  But it shows up at the oddest times.  Someone asked about the Pepto - I have a "safe" list from the doctor.  Apparently the Pepto is okay after first trimester.  I've also had some menstrual type cramping - I had forgotten what that felt like. 

What I miss: Right now, not much :)

What I look forward to: Our last u/s is in 1 week.  I can't freaking believe we made it this far!  Meeting my Cricket.

Moods: I am in some sort of insanely endorphin induced high - and I love it!  Too bad it didn't give me more energy, LOL.  I will admit to having a short temper these days, though.

Milestones: Short of some vacuuming and getting tools out, nursery is DONE!  Playroom is close (I need to hang some things and order photos), and the downstairs is making progress.  Pack N Play (which took 45 minutes to assemble - PORTABLE MY ASS!!!)  I promise photos once it's all finished.  And hey, 35 weeks!  You know how awesome that is?  That means, barring any unforseen complications, no NICU!  AND, freedom to move around and get things done at last, what I can tolerate anyway.  Been a big week!  Oh!  And the Baby Shower!  I was going to post pics, but the ones Littlest took all have me making some horrendous face and I just have zero urge to share, LOL.  But it was fun, and we got lots of teeny clothes, and needed things, and then spent a huge amount of money buying the rest early in the week.  I can't believe it could be any day now!
Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis. Syn.throid 50 mcg, Zo.loft 100 mg, Iron x 3 (my anemia is getting worse and worse), D3, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Tylenol 3 for the migraines, Unisom so I sleep a bit better.

Weekly Wisdom: 2 months of doing nothing means that when you are allowed, it still takes a while to get going.  Don't expect miracles overnight, LOL.

Best moment this week: Shower, release from bedrest, nursery coming together.  It's been a good week :)
Worst moment this week: Sitting through a 2+ hour "newborn care class" that was not at all what I expected, and uncomfortable to boot - Hubby could barely get my boots off by the end.

I hope to have nursery/playroom type pics up within a few days - just have to do the finishing touches!  Not all photos will be up, but that's okay, you'll be able to see the basic layout.

A Story To Share

Remember my photo shoot from last month?  The woman, Rebecca Fuhs Gotzon, who did them, also has joined a Writing Group.  Each week they get a prompt and they have to use that to write a piece.  The week of our shoot, her prompt was "nature."  As she put it to me, "I don't hike."  So...our photo shoot became the inspiration for her story.  I am highly flattered, and she gave me permission to post it here.  Again, if you are in the Lehigh Valley and are looking for someone to shoot you, your children, etc, find her on Facebook and give her a shout! 

Without further ado, I give you her story.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


A Natural Curve


She stood naked in front of me. An honest naked. Not a sensual naked, not an exposed naked. Just naked—the way she was when she came into this world.

Her pregnant belly protruded from her body adding a natural and healthy girth to her waistline. I adjusted the lighting as she stood waiting to model.

She was a stranger not 30 minutes before, but the fact that she was intrusting me with this intimate and poetic photography shoot made her an instant friend.

Given that she had spent the last months on bed rest she was weak, and unable to stand for long periods of time. Without fail every twenty minutes she excused herself, as her future daughter sat on her bladder forcing her to take these numerous breaks.

The woman had always been thin, “a twig” in her own words. The added weight of a growing human was an adjustment that she was not too fond of. “On the plus side, I finally have boobs!” She laughs, in a lighthearted moment.

We had previously discussed her preferences when it comes to maternity photography. She wanted it to be intimate, with a flair for the dramatic. She tells me that she enjoys the stark visual contrast of backlighting on a rounded stomach. She doesn’t want to document the event, but illustrate it. She is not looking to glamorize pregnancy, with all it’s uncomfortable and inevitable annoyances, but rather capture the intrigue of change.

She stood before me naked, as we captured the natural beauty of life. It was honest. It was kind. Art takes many forms, and I envisioned her body as an evolving canvas.

Twenty minutes passed, time for another break. Afterwards she sat at my kitchen table, waiting for her strength to return. She is unsure if the person growing inside her is male or female, but chooses to “her” as a pronoun in place of “it.”

“One moment, she’s kicking me.” I patiently wait. For that is the natural order of life, that we make amends for the process of giving breath. Inside of her “she” is growing, and processing, and developing. It is natural. It is beautiful.

“Alright, she settled down.” Once again I adjust my lighting. The honesty of nature never ceasing to amaze me.

Game On!

So, yup, still way behind in reading...every time I go to catch up, I have a project I need to work on.  For instance, baby shower prep, etc.  Been nesting like mad, and that makes me uncomfortable and tired, so I keep getting behind.  I am so, so sorry! 

But I have to say, it may not get better for the next week or so, because....

I AM ALLOWED TO GET UP AND MOVE AROUND AGAIN! 

That's right, I am only restricted by what I can tolerate at this point.  Which, it turns out, is not as much as I had hoped, LOL.  We finished up shopping today (Ack!  Money!) and I now feel like someone drove a truck over my hips and lower back.  Oops.  Maybe I should have eased into it. 

So, I am determined to have the house ready by the end of the weekend, and I have a massage next Tuesday, and after that, Cricket is allowed to come.  Watch me go 6 more weeks...so wouldn't surprise me at this point, LOL. 

I owe you pics of the shower and I will do a post about it.  Promise.

Oh!  And pretty pretty please, head over and give Erica some lovin'.  She is a week behind me, and has been put on hospital bedrest due to preeclampsia.  She's a bit wigged out, understandably so, and could use some support.  She's also on FB, and has a link on her page - she can't access her blog right now, but is all over FB right now trying to stave off boredom and worry. 

I am off to nest and celebrate the fact that I can be mobile...and that I can have SEX!  Oh, yeah, you know I'm excited about that! 

As soon as my obsessive nesting phase ends, I will somehow catch up with you all.  Love you ALL!

34w0d

WEEKLY UPDATE

34 weeks - the 33 week pic wouldn't load
correctly, sorry!

How far along: 34 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of a honeydew. Cricket's fat layers are filling her out, and her central nervous system and lungs continue to mature.  Should be 4.5-5 lbs.

Total Weight Gain: 156.4 lbs - 43 lbs!  Eek!  How am I still putting on 2-3 lbs a week? Oh, right, I get zero excercise. 

Maternity clothes: I bought myself a dress for the shower tomorrow - styles this year run hippie-ish (read: baggy and flowy), so I actually got it in the regular section!

Sleep: A miracle happened last night: I slept for 3 hours straight twice!  Which is a damn miracle!  Normally it's only 1.5-2 hours.  And the nightmares have calmed down now that I'm off the Procardia, which is a nice break.  Phew.

Movement: She's definitely got a schedule, though the only time I've noticed the actual TIME of day is at 10 pm, almost like clockwork.  All movement is either below the belly button, or on the right side.  NADA on the left - still got her butt jammed up in my ribs under the tattoo. 
Cravings/Aversions: Cravings: All things potato. Aversions: Red meat.

Close up of how the belly button and
tattoo are doing.  Definitely stretching
out, but still looking good!

Sex: My subconscious thwarts me nearly every night.  My dreams are X-rated.  Not kidding.  I am hoping they lift my pelvic rest in a couple weeks.  I'm gonna go bonkers, LOL.



I was trying to capture the lopsided
thing I've got going on, but it didn't
really work...



Symptoms: My right milk producer seems to be more of a producer - but it's also way to early to tell.  I'm going based on how much colostrum I can express.  Big news: after nearly 8 months of pooping lumps of coal very irregularly, my digestive system seems to have balanced out.  Can I just say that normal poop after that long is actually a bit of a shock to the system?  LOL.  And uber-gas has returned.  Man, the things coming out of my ass right now should be quarantined.  Still have the rib pain from kiddo's bum.  I have figured out a way to thwart heartburn most times - all food and pills are followed by a swig of Pepto...seems to be working well :)  Hmmm, maybe that's why I poop normally now?  Sciatic pain - yeowwwww!  Makes me hobble like an old lady. Oh!  Pregnancy brain - do you know how many times I have tried to either find the milk in the pantry, or put it away there???

What I miss: Sleeping for long periods of time, getting in and out of chairs, bed, what-have-you unassisted.  LOL.

What I look forward to: Baby shower tomorrow!!!!
Moods: MUCH better this week.  After Sunday and Monday's utter meltdown I am feeling better, crawling out of my pity party.  Thanks for all the kind words, friends :)
Milestones: All heavy nursery stuff has been completed and I can get in there this week to make it pretty!

Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis, PTL (ie Helga is a cranky bitch), IC. Ready for the list? Syn.throid 50 mcg, Zo.loft 100 mg, Iron x 3 (my anemia is getting worse and worse), D3, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Tylenol 3 for the migraines, Unisom so I sleep a bit better.

Weekly Wisdom: Pepto is your friend. 

Best moment this week: Unexpected surprises in the mail from my dear bloggy friends.  I love you all!

Worst moment this week: Hospital Sunday - that was scary and shitty.

Dear Baby #7

My dear, squirmy child,

Once again, I have been totally lax in writing to you.  Mama's been a bit down.  But only because I cannot prep as much as I would like for your arrival.  Your mama is learning to give up some control...which will be good because once you do arrive, you'll very obviously be in charge.  Much like you have for the last 8 months.  Shoot, you've been in charge even before you were conceived! 

7 weeks ago we weren't sure you would still be in my belly when the shower rolled around...we were worried you'd be in the NICU.  But you are still solidly ensconsed in there.  In fact, except for some wiggles and stretches, you really don't flip and roll anymore.  I have to point out, though, that you COULD move your bum to the other side and give the right side of my ribs a little break.  But you know, whatever. 

Speaking of the shower, the party to celebrate your impending arrival is this Sunday!  I am still somewhat in shock that I get to have a shower.  That my first shower OF ANY KIND will be my own baby shower, for YOU, little Cricket.  We are so blessed.  We can't wait to meet you, but you are still under orders to stay put at least 3 more weeks. 

Holy moly, it is so very possible that in 3 weeks you may be here.  Of course, given the ride we've been on, I won't be surprised if you knock us all for a loop and decide to stay put for another 6, LOL.  6 weeks gives us a fighting chance at actually having the house ready for your arrival, LOL.  I have been lighting a fire under your Daddy's bum to get things done, but his sense of urgency is significantly lower.  He has every confidence that slow and steady will win the race.  I want it done NOW. 

The painting is pretty much complete - your "uncle" Spazz just has to paint the top of one of the dressers and fix it.  Curtains and shelves should be going up in the next few days, and the rest of your gear will be here in the next week.  Boy, I hope you like bright colors - Mama got a little excited about the Disney paints.  Mama also successfully won the battle with the bassinet after the cover got washed and managed to get it back on...no easy feat! 

So, my dear, I am doing my job sitting on MY bum to make sure you stay put, and Daddy is working on making everything ready for you.  We can't wait to meet you, nerves and all.  It still seems so surreal that very soon I will be holding you in my arms, and changing your stinky diapers :) 

Until next time...

All my love to you, squirmy.

Mama

Smack Some Sense Into Me

I have been woefully absent from Blogger - honestly, I have been unable to concentrate on anything else but me.  I love you guys, I do.  Just needed me time.  But seriously, smack me. 

I am pretty sure I actually made myself sick yesterday.  I was having heart palpitations, seeing spots, and then started getting light-headed and nearly passing out.  Hubby took me to the hospital, talking to me the whole way to keep me conscious.  I also had tightness in my chest in waves, and then a full-on asthma attack.  They gave me Ativan (I could have been taking it allllll this time????) which  made me comatose.  Got released after they cleared me for preeclampsia.  Couldn't find a damn thing wrong.  We did pull me off the Procardia because the earlier symptoms could easily have been from that and I've been on it for 6 weeks.  So it's stopped a week early.  I also learned that contractions I used to feel I don't even notice anymore. 

I am so overwhelmed I made myself sick.  This is where I was a year ago.  But I am supposed to be happy!  Cricket is nearly here!  But bedrest has made me feel useless and unable to nest.  No control.  Which is driving me insane.  And I am constantly in pain, which gets old. 

In the last week I have lost a friend (Colliwog) and a former friendship (Pixie) seems to be starting up in fits and starts, which confuses the hell out of me.  Emotional much?

Hubby's reassurances that "everything will get done" just don't seem to be cutting it.  I am at a loss.  And borderline losing it. 

So please....smack me.  Maybe a jolt to the system is what I need.  Yesterday was TERRIFYING, and I'm pretty sure it was for Hubby, too.  To find me white as a ghost and barely coherent could not have been fun.  This is the kind of thing I am terrified I will pass on to Cricket. 

Maybe being able to move around more soon will help.  I can only hope.  In the meantime, I give you permission to smack the hysterical pregnant lady.  Please.  Before I totally go off the deep end.

33w0d

WEEKLY UPDATE

How far along: 33 weeks 0 days. Cricket is the size of a honeydew. Baby’s senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, those tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, baby can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing your lullabies! Growth (at least inside your womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month.


Total Weight Gain: 153.8 lbs. I have hit the 40 lb mark.  With a 4lb baby.  Really?

Maternity clothes: Hell yeah! Some of my shirts are actually getting a bit, umm, short...with 2 months (we hope!) to go!  Maternity pants are also getting a bit snug around the bum.

Sleep: I stay in bed about 10-12 hours some nights (excluding the NUMBEROUS trips to the bathroom). Some days I also take a 1-2 hour nap. I give props to the non-bedrest babes who work and stay active the whole time - serious props.

Movement: Turns out that's her bum in my ribs on the right causing me all that pain.  Little stinker.
Cravings/Aversions: Cravings: Nothing big this week. Aversions: Red meat.

Sex: Well, it's about time to start placing your votes! I have been convinced since the beginning that Cricket is a girl - but it's a great mystery!

Symptoms: Crazy, crazy Procardia induced dreams continue. Heartburn. And I think the hemorrhoids have begun.  Le sigh.  Oh, and horrid right sided pain under my rib cage, front and back.  And a TMJ flare up out of the blue.  Good times.

What I miss: Belly sleeping, sex - and control.  Good training I suppose.
What I look forward to: Baby shower is in 1 week!  And then meds stop!  Holy moly!
Moods: Basket. Case. 
Milestones: Hopefully Cricket topped 4lbs this week. 
Medical Concerns: Hypothyroid, anxiety, migraines, bursitis, PTL (ie Helga is a cranky bitch), IC. Ready for the list? Syn.throid 50 mcg, Zo.loft 100 mg, Iron, D3, B12, Vitamin C, Folic acid, stool softeners. Flexeril a bit longer, Tylenol 3 for the migraines, Procardia 20 mg 3x/day, Unisom so I sleep a bit better.

Weekly Wisdom: Be VERY specific with Hubby or he won't do things I need done.  Gotta spell it out.
Best moment this week: Seeing Cricket :-)
Worst moment this week: Honestly it's been a crap week.  Moving on to next week.

Friday Night Leftovers: Ouch

I want to apologize first off for not reading or commenting this week.   I've simply been too damn overwhelmed and, quite honestly, depressed.  And in pain.  I am going to wipe my Google Reader clean Monday and start from there, catching up as you post.  Thanks for understanding.  Anyway, here's my stuff.

• Spazz had to move in with us Saturday.  More drama.  BUT, he's helping get furniture and stuff ready, so I appreciate that.
• Littlest and her BFF came and helped Sunday with the painting of furniture and reorganizing of our bedroom - our room is nearly ready!  Cricket's corner is almost finished.  The nursery is...getting there.
• I had to have a u/s on my gall bladder Tuesday due to regular and fairly painful right sided rib and upper back issues.  Good news is gall bladder is fine.  Bad news is, it is most likely just my rib cage spreading, and since Cricket refuses to budge, it's not going away until she/he makes an appearance.
• I woke up this morning unable to open my mouth - my TMJ has decided to flare up, on one side only.  I know I'm not grinding my teeth because due to excessive preggo boogers, I sleep with my mouth open.  So, who knows WHY it started.  I can't take anti-inflammatories.  So I am trying to stick to soft foods, and will be using warm compresses.  And I was referred to an oral surgeon.  Le sigh.   Chewing, yawning, etc are overrated anyway.
• In good and fun news, shower gifts have started to arrive!  So they are fun little surprises I get to open :-)  Time to start Thank You cards. 
• I have nearly unburied my living room.  Woohoo!

Happy Friday, all!

Wordless Wednesday: 32 Week Ultrasound

At 32 weeks 2 days,  Cricket was 3 lbs 11 oz.  Her head is down still, and the "feet" under my rib cage on the right are not feet.  It's her ARSE!  Torture by bum.  She is a bit on the small side, but all looks okay, so no worries at this point.  Here's my kiddo!