I have been woefully absent from Blogger - honestly, I have been unable to concentrate on anything else but me. I love you guys, I do. Just needed me time. But seriously, smack me.
I am pretty sure I actually made myself sick yesterday. I was having heart palpitations, seeing spots, and then started getting light-headed and nearly passing out. Hubby took me to the hospital, talking to me the whole way to keep me conscious. I also had tightness in my chest in waves, and then a full-on asthma attack. They gave me Ativan (I could have been taking it allllll this time????) which made me comatose. Got released after they cleared me for preeclampsia. Couldn't find a damn thing wrong. We did pull me off the Procardia because the earlier symptoms could easily have been from that and I've been on it for 6 weeks. So it's stopped a week early. I also learned that contractions I used to feel I don't even notice anymore.
I am so overwhelmed I made myself sick. This is where I was a year ago. But I am supposed to be happy! Cricket is nearly here! But bedrest has made me feel useless and unable to nest. No control. Which is driving me insane. And I am constantly in pain, which gets old.
In the last week I have lost a friend (Colliwog) and a former friendship (Pixie) seems to be starting up in fits and starts, which confuses the hell out of me. Emotional much?
Hubby's reassurances that "everything will get done" just don't seem to be cutting it. I am at a loss. And borderline losing it.
So please....smack me. Maybe a jolt to the system is what I need. Yesterday was TERRIFYING, and I'm pretty sure it was for Hubby, too. To find me white as a ghost and barely coherent could not have been fun. This is the kind of thing I am terrified I will pass on to Cricket.
Maybe being able to move around more soon will help. I can only hope. In the meantime, I give you permission to smack the hysterical pregnant lady. Please. Before I totally go off the deep end.