Friday, December 17, 2010

Case In Point

I snapped at work today. My hip was REALLY hurting, and very suddenly my feet and legs have turned into sausages...and it hurts. I bitched.

Someone who doesn't know my story (apparently I haven't told the WHOLE world) said, "Remember how lucky you are. Some women can't have kids."

That's when I lost it. I said, "I AM that woman. It took a lot to get here, and I am thrilled, but can't I catch a little break???"

See, that's why I worry I am becoming the whiny pregnant lady. I think I spent so long idealizing pregnancy, this dream, and hearing how wonderful pregnancy was for my mom, that the reality of mine is a bit of a blow.

I want to have an entire week where I don't hurt, puke, stick myself with a needle, or take 30 pills. Actually, just losing 2 of those would be awesome. Wah. Play the world's smallest fiddle, I know. I asked to be here.

I am not displeased to be pregnant. I am displeased, as I have mentioned, to not get my idyllic vision of what it was supposed to be like.

I don't actually, truly bitch that often, and to have that ONE THING said to me...after a rough couple of weeks...sigh.

Okay, bitch session over.

But if anyone knows how I can keep my feet warm when all I can fit into is flip flops, let me know. I elevate at night...but the rest...I am clueless.
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  1. I just wanted to come by and give you a hug! You really have had such a hard time and a little whining is ok and expected.

    Pregnancy is not easy, just as infertility is not easy, just as life is not easy. Everybody gets to vent about it sometimes, no matter what IT is.

    Your body is changing constantly right now and as I look down at my own sausage fingers and recall my frustration from a few minutes ago about not being able to finish a project sitting on the floor because it was so uncomfortable and I couldn't breathe (baby boy is sitting HIGH), and I belch fire nightly and see the rings on my swollen ankles when I take off my socks, I KNOW that it is ok to complain sometimes.

    It doesn't make you any less compassionate or a bad pregnant lady. It makes you human.

    Oh and all my shoes are slip ons right now. The only thing that works is that I accidentally ordered an extra wide width (instead of wide for my size 10s!) and while they were falling off my feet a few months ago, they are perfect now. Not sure what is going to happen when I get dressed up for Christmas...beige sneakers go with a black dress, right??

  2. You go right ahead and vent if you need to...For some they struggle with getting pregnant but once pregnant things are like normal pregnant women....then there are peeps like us that struggle with IF and then struggle once pregnant...and no we are not complaining about the occasional back ache or other symptoms that come along with pregnancy...Our complaints are real and sometimes big issues and I dont care what any other non pregnant IF er is going through if they were in our shoes they would find it very hard and need to vent also....And everyone knows we wouldnt change our position we are in for the world but that doesnt make the pregnancy and easier...You take care and vent anytime

  3. Ok, the flip flops thing I do have covered. Toe socks!! I wear them in winter here with flip flops (we call them thongs). I have a stray pair around if you can't afford them. Do you have small or large feet? Seriously, don't worry about the whining. This is your blog and as such is your space to share your thoughts-whatever they may be. You ARE having a tough time of it. When I had GD with my first PG, I felt so cheated and did whine about the strictness of the diet I had to go on. It blew. Some of the experiences you are having now blow too. So say whateva's you need to say!
    Love ya!

  4. Making babies is hard, just take it a day at a time lovely lady and keep busy!

  5. My husband bought me some really stretch socks...they are super soft and not too I just have to find them!


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