I have been blocked. I couldn't write. I'm still having issues. Me. Who has no filter and has spewed so much on this blog. I have regularly made light of things, joked, and generally let you into my life. Right now I am having difficulty with that. I write posts in my head. All the time. But when it comes to actually putting it out there...I really don't know why I am unable to express all of this shit in my head.
The things that run through my head, the struggles I am facing, admitting to myself, the fear I have for myself, my family...I can't seem to put it out there. Writing it down, sharing it with you means I am out there, exposed. And while I know that it will bring me support, I still can't get it down on "paper." I am trying, though. Trying not to be shut down. Self preservation, maybe? Just writing this post, an overview, no really personal information, is making my anxiety flare up. But I also know that if I don't let it out I cannot heal. So I will do my best to get it out there. Starting tomorrow I will open myself up as much as I can.
But for now, I mentioned big changes! I have big news.
We are moving. In a couple of months, we will be moving to Delaware, OH. Whenever my f'ing settlement comes through. It's a small town half an hour north of Columbus. There are tons of job opportunities, and the cost of living is lower. It was a gut-wrenching decision. My mother is devastated that I am taking her grandson away, and the guilt I feel is epic. I have cried over it quite a bit. I know why, and I will get into it in a future post.
But, and here is the best part, we bought a mobile home there. As in owning our own (small) house with low lot rental in a small park, only 50 or so homes. It's a quiet neighborhood. Many parks nearby, and an amazing community pool.
|This is our new house. Small, but OURS, which is the most important thing.|
The interior is semi-modern. We have already purchased paint for the living room/kitchen area, as well as our bedroom. And I pretty much know what I am going to do with P's room. Unfortunately, I will have to do it after we move in unless I take another trip out there.
Which will be difficult as I am going to hit up a local temp agency here so that I can get us some money for now. Hubby's job cut his hours drastically and we need money! I am terrified, but I will get through it.
Anywho, here are some lousy pics of the house.
|P's room. HUGE closet.|
|Bathroom vanity. Keeping the color and adding accents. |
Needs new flooring. Fun project! The shower/tub is
amazeballs. As in step in HUGE soaking tub. Woot.
|Kitchen. Open to living room. Not as much counter space as I would like|
but tons and tons of storage.
|Living room. Setup may be awkward, but I will figure it out. There is a|
hand through window from kitchen, and a counter where we can eat.
So I have to keep that space open.
|Looking toward the rear of the house. Will be replacing all of that flooring|
as well. That door at the end is our room, and just before that to the right
is where our washer and dryer (once we have them) will go.
|Our room. Also a huge closet, thank goodness!|
|This is the little office alcove in our room. Built in table. Love it.|
|Another view...just cuz P is in it :-) He was very excited to check out the house.|
He even shut himself in his room, LOL.
|This is the old school radio built into the wall in the living room. It works. And there is a speaker|
in the ceiling of the living room and our room. Cheesy, yet cool.
|The cabinets are horrid, LOL. But with some wood filler, sand paper, and paint...|
they will be awesomesauce.
So, yeah, that's my big news. We are officially home owners, albeit it a mobile home. Whatever. It's ours. Which is kind of surreal.
That's my news for today. I promise. I am back. I can do this.