Frog and Pixie welcomed Baby #2, C, a little boy who looks just like his daddy, into the world yesterday early morning. On P's 11-month birthday.
I swear I was going to go to the hospital yesterday to meet and hold him. I swear I am so happy for them.
But I am fairly certain that I am exuding the color green, from my irises to the tips of my hair and that it is shining out of my toes. These are the time I know I am A: Not done, and B: Not cured. For the record, I WANT to hold that baby. Oh, do I want to hold that baby. But...I dread the emotions that will come with it. The aching in my uterus. The pain in my chest.
But, I shall go. I shall congratulate and fawn and cuddle. And then I will g home and cry and drink and sleep.
And consider how I look in the color green.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I wonder if those pangs of jealousy ever really go away? I confess that, even now, I am envious whenever I hear about someone who can get pregnant easily, and stay pregnant without fear.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
Sending lots of ((hugs)). I don't know how to let go of that jealousy.
ReplyDeleteI think it stays with you no matter what. We've started talking about going for #2 even though we really can't afford it right now. At the same time though I know I'm not done either and that I will find a way to make it work.
ReplyDelete{{{Hugs}}} Genevieve
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I so know what you're going through. Those pangs are truly painful.
ReplyDeleteAnd I understand the catch 22 of emotions. So happy for your friends but so sad for yourself.
Hugs to you.