Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Green Eyed Lady

Frog and Pixie welcomed Baby #2, C, a little boy who looks just like his daddy, into the world yesterday early morning.  On P's 11-month birthday.

I swear I was going to go to the hospital yesterday to meet and hold him.  I swear I am so happy for them. 

But I am fairly certain that I am exuding the color green, from my irises to the tips of my hair and that it is shining out of my toes.  These are the time I know I am A: Not done, and B: Not cured.  For the record, I WANT to hold that baby.  Oh, do I want to hold that baby.  But...I dread the emotions that will come with it.  The aching in my uterus.  The pain in my chest. 

But, I shall go.  I shall congratulate and fawn and cuddle.  And then I will g home and cry and drink and sleep. 

And consider how I look in the color green.


  1. I wonder if those pangs of jealousy ever really go away? I confess that, even now, I am envious whenever I hear about someone who can get pregnant easily, and stay pregnant without fear.


  2. Sending lots of ((hugs)). I don't know how to let go of that jealousy.

  3. I think it stays with you no matter what. We've started talking about going for #2 even though we really can't afford it right now. At the same time though I know I'm not done either and that I will find a way to make it work.

  4. Oh gosh, I so know what you're going through. Those pangs are truly painful.

    And I understand the catch 22 of emotions. So happy for your friends but so sad for yourself.

    Hugs to you.


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