A friend said to me this morning, "You need to get laid."
I said, "I'm trying!"
His reply, "Oh, back to your old ways then?"
Here's the thing. I never really LEFT my "old ways." I had a child. I am on medication. I have been exhausted and had NO sex drive. Things are waking up though, for sure. The part of me that loves sex hadn't gone away, it was slumbering. Understandably so.
About 5 years ago when I caved and went to see a psychiatrist in order to try and save my first marriage, and my possible bipolar disease was being discussed, one of the things asked was about whether I have periods of hypersexuality. By our culture's standards? Yes. No doubt about it. By other cultures? It would depend. Some things have changed about my behaviors, though. I no longer get drunk and stupid and sleep with just anyone. Any sexual liaisons are planned, with people I know and am friends with. It's a friendly thing. And it's how I am built.
Polyamory is a valid sexual identification. But in this culture? Not so much. Not for many. Swingers, people with open marriages, etc...we are seen as being on the fringe of acceptable culture. But the spectrum of sexuality is broad. Do most people understand me? No. Do some think my behavior is wrong? Absolutely. Do I sometimes wonder if I have some addiction or something? Yes. But then I remember my studies on other cultures. My knowledge of biology. I am who I am. I like sex. I like it with different people. It does NOT rule my life.
Maybe it is related to me being bipolar. Who knows. At the same time, I am not being defensive. Just really, really curious. I know the feeling range from it being WRONG because we are married. Or, you know, just WRONG in general for some people. As I said, I firmly believe that I fall comfortably within the range of sexual identities expressesd around the world.
Remind me to stay off Dr. Google, who convinces me I have some sort of psychosis.