Thursday, November 3, 2011

When The Meanings Change

You know how I know my life has changed?  When the following things have ENTIRELY different meanings.

  • "I squirted."  No, this does not mean an amazing orgasm.  It means I squirted milk from a boob, either into P's mouth to get his attention, or across the room because it freaks Hubby out.
  • "I'm coming, OMG I'm coming."  Also not an amazing orgasm.  This is me when P is screaming and I am across the room.  In fact, it is this very thing that led to the 6 weeks in a walking cast.  Yeeeeaaaahhhh.
  • "Slippery when wet."  Not my girly bits.  Oh, no.  This is a wet baby in the bath.  When alone, this becomes a serious hazard. 
  • "Don't give me a hickey!"  Said to P when he misses the nipple and gets something else.  Can't remember the last time I said that to Hubby. 
  • "I can't remember the last time someone sucked on my lip like that."  Again, not Hubby.  P giving me a very enthusiastic kiss.  Also led to aforementioned hickey. 
  • "Eww, there is sticky white stuff on my pants."  Spit up, that is.  On my crotch.  Nice aim, kiddo.  Occasionally also dripping down my chest into my bra. 
  • "OMG that's an erection!"  This was not a pleasant surprise awaiting me in bed.  This was P's reaction to his first full bath in the bathtub.  While I was with him.  That was a new and interesting experience!  Boys are fun. 
Are you seeing a trend here?  Yup, my life has DEFINITELY changed. 

And I love it.  Every wet, sticky, squirting moment.

8 comments:

  1. LOL. You make me blush and laugh all at once! :)

    I must have missed the walking cast! Ouch!!

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  2. LOL... and you wouldn't change a moment of it, would you?

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  3. Love it! Totally hilarious... and SO true! :)

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  4. Ha Ha Ha!

    Eeeew...and funny at the same time...

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  5. this whole post totally cracked me up!

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