Last week I posted about my friend Rebecka and her daughter Katy. I put up a donation button over there on the left.
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I have heard from the family, and wanted to update you as to where donations will be going.
They have chosen Hannah's Heroes. So far we are still at ZERO. I know times are tight. But if you can even donate a dollar. The money will be donated in Katy's name.
Take a moment and check them out if you can. Thanks everyone!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
PYHO: Should
I am incredibly tired of this word. SHOULD. As in...
He SHOULD be sleeping through the night by now.
He SHOULD be on a schedule by now.
You SHOULD not co-sleep.
Get the idea?
Guess what...EAT ME. This ass-vice comes from everyone from doctors to well-meaning friends. My neurologist even chimed in on the sleeping through the night thing. I said, "Tell him that."
What is it with "Western" cultures and this need for baby structure? Have you seen the research? Babies for the most part end up at the same developmental milestones within the same general amount of time regardless of scheduling, how much belly time you give them, whether they sleep with their parents, or spend the first 6 months of their lives swaddled and carried in a papoose.
Left to his/her own devices, a baby will eventually develop his own schedule.
Am I going to deny my child food because it isn't time for him to eat? NO. If he cries at night, am I going to let him cry it out? NO. Maybe this works for others. But not for me, and not for him.
I can't spoil him. Not possible. And is it so bad that he learns that if he is upset that Mama will comestaggering like a zombie running to his side? Why is this bad??? Why are we so keen on structure? Yes, some kids thrive on it. And if that works for you and them, AWESOME. My kid is, well, a little more laid back about such things. He cannot be forced. Hey, I'm excited we seem to have an actual almost standard bedtime. I consider this progress.
But I am NOT forcing the issue. I take my cues from him. I knew when I had a child that he would be in charge for quite some time. He is NEEDS based. We are slaves to society, schedules, etc. This is why we want them to be. Because it's hard as hell on us otherwise. Well, guess what? No one said it would be easy.
So, please, stop telling my what I or my baby SHOULD be doing. We'll get there. When he is ready.
SHOULD isn't in his vocabulary. NEED is. So is LOVE.
He SHOULD be sleeping through the night by now.
He SHOULD be on a schedule by now.
You SHOULD not co-sleep.
Get the idea?
Guess what...EAT ME. This ass-vice comes from everyone from doctors to well-meaning friends. My neurologist even chimed in on the sleeping through the night thing. I said, "Tell him that."
What is it with "Western" cultures and this need for baby structure? Have you seen the research? Babies for the most part end up at the same developmental milestones within the same general amount of time regardless of scheduling, how much belly time you give them, whether they sleep with their parents, or spend the first 6 months of their lives swaddled and carried in a papoose.
Left to his/her own devices, a baby will eventually develop his own schedule.
Am I going to deny my child food because it isn't time for him to eat? NO. If he cries at night, am I going to let him cry it out? NO. Maybe this works for others. But not for me, and not for him.
I can't spoil him. Not possible. And is it so bad that he learns that if he is upset that Mama will come
But I am NOT forcing the issue. I take my cues from him. I knew when I had a child that he would be in charge for quite some time. He is NEEDS based. We are slaves to society, schedules, etc. This is why we want them to be. Because it's hard as hell on us otherwise. Well, guess what? No one said it would be easy.
So, please, stop telling my what I or my baby SHOULD be doing. We'll get there. When he is ready.
SHOULD isn't in his vocabulary. NEED is. So is LOVE.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
My Memories - GIVEAWAY!!! -- WINNER!
So, my first hosted giveaway was mildly disappointing. Only a few entrants. But, that's okay :-) Still excited I got to do it!
Random.org took my 16 comments, and selected #12!!! So, I counted down from the first one, and got Nicole! Rather apropos, actually. Yay for my Cycle Buddy who has done so, so much for me! Thank you!
Email me when you get a chance and I will let you know how to get your software!
Thanks to those who did participate. Really appreciate it!
New giveaway coming soon!!!
Random.org took my 16 comments, and selected #12!!! So, I counted down from the first one, and got Nicole! Rather apropos, actually. Yay for my Cycle Buddy who has done so, so much for me! Thank you!
Email me when you get a chance and I will let you know how to get your software!
Thanks to those who did participate. Really appreciate it!
New giveaway coming soon!!!
Friday, October 7, 2011
More Tragedy
Yesterday I posted about a song and it's meaning in our community. Today it is more apropos than I could have imagined.
Our community sadly has a new member. Rebecka's 2 year old daughter has a brain stem glioma. Cancer. In a 2 year old. Sunday they had a new hope. The amazing doctors at CHOP were going to hopefully help get more of the tumor. With any luck, 6 months of hell would be over. Katy's surgery was Sunday. By Wednesday she still had not woken up and was unresponsive. Wednesday afternoon an EEG showed no brain activity.
Rebecka's family are now all with her in Philly, but arrangements are being made. A young life has been lost to a senseless, indiscriminate disease. Katy's younger sister will never remember her, and most likely, for her older brothers, she will be but a fuzzy memory. A spirited, babbling little girl is gone.
She needs our support, you guys. Please, if nothing else, go give her some love. Send hugs, support, reach out. I know you guys. This is our community.
I do not know what the funeral arrangements are, nor do I have her address yet, but I would like to start a fund, whether for her funeral costs or for a donation, or whatever she prefers. To keep it generic, I have posted a button to the left that you can click on if you are able to give even a $ or $$, hell even 1/$. I will update you with what we have, and where it will ultimately be going.
Either way, please go give her some love. She and her family need it. Thanks, everyone.
Our community sadly has a new member. Rebecka's 2 year old daughter has a brain stem glioma. Cancer. In a 2 year old. Sunday they had a new hope. The amazing doctors at CHOP were going to hopefully help get more of the tumor. With any luck, 6 months of hell would be over. Katy's surgery was Sunday. By Wednesday she still had not woken up and was unresponsive. Wednesday afternoon an EEG showed no brain activity.
Rebecka's family are now all with her in Philly, but arrangements are being made. A young life has been lost to a senseless, indiscriminate disease. Katy's younger sister will never remember her, and most likely, for her older brothers, she will be but a fuzzy memory. A spirited, babbling little girl is gone.
She needs our support, you guys. Please, if nothing else, go give her some love. Send hugs, support, reach out. I know you guys. This is our community.
I do not know what the funeral arrangements are, nor do I have her address yet, but I would like to start a fund, whether for her funeral costs or for a donation, or whatever she prefers. To keep it generic, I have posted a button to the left that you can click on if you are able to give even a $ or $$, hell even 1/$. I will update you with what we have, and where it will ultimately be going.
Either way, please go give her some love. She and her family need it. Thanks, everyone.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I Take You With Me
I am a glutton for punishment. No surprise there. And with my cycle being all out of whack due to BF, Hubby being gone, me being off meds...needless to say, telling me I look pretty could very well set off the water works.
I tend to make poor emotional decisions when this way. Like listening to the Indigo Girls. Which leads to getting my best male friend to watch "Boys On The Side" with me. Not gonna lie: serious guilty "pleasure". I love this movie. And it makes me bawl. EVERY. TIME. I am way too empathetic for my own good.
So, I cried. Wept. Sniffled into my son's hair. (And, yeah, right now writing this the tears are flowing again. At work.) I cried at all the points I normally do. And then the end came. And all of a sudden I was crying for a totally different reason. A NEW reason.
I'm there, listening to Whoopie singing "Anything You Want (You Got It)" and the meaning of the song has now COMPLETELY changed for me. As I sat there hugging my son, crying into his peach fuzz, I thought that the song could be sung to a child and not lose one bit of it's meaning (just have to change the "i'm your man line"). OMG, I was WEEPING.
I've said it before, and I will say it again: I cannot believe the depth of feeling I have for my child. Being away from him sometimes is like an ache...like a string tying us together and I can feel it tugging at me. He doesn't have separation anxiety, I do. And hearing that...oh, boy. Seriously...anything this child wants (you know, within reason), he's got it. I would go to the ends of the earth for him.
And THEN. The following song is "I Take You With Me" by Melissa Etheridge. So there I am, all of a sudden hearing Roy's song in a totally new way, and the next one hits me like a freaking Mack truck.
I have seen so many pages regarding songs people attribute to their IF journey. Songs either written specifically about it, or songs that touch people. And I have listened to them all. And I have listened to this one plenty since we began TTC, since I had P, etc. But once again, sometimes there is an epiphany.
All I could think of was all of my friends with RPL, infant loss, adoptions fallen through, embies that never stuck... We carry them with us always, don't we? No matter what happens. No matter the joy that may follow. We take them with us.
And I take all of YOU with me, in my heart...this song, I think, has changed in my mind, my heart, forever.
"I Take You With Me" - Melissa Etheridge
I tend to make poor emotional decisions when this way. Like listening to the Indigo Girls. Which leads to getting my best male friend to watch "Boys On The Side" with me. Not gonna lie: serious guilty "pleasure". I love this movie. And it makes me bawl. EVERY. TIME. I am way too empathetic for my own good.
So, I cried. Wept. Sniffled into my son's hair. (And, yeah, right now writing this the tears are flowing again. At work.) I cried at all the points I normally do. And then the end came. And all of a sudden I was crying for a totally different reason. A NEW reason.
I'm there, listening to Whoopie singing "Anything You Want (You Got It)" and the meaning of the song has now COMPLETELY changed for me. As I sat there hugging my son, crying into his peach fuzz, I thought that the song could be sung to a child and not lose one bit of it's meaning (just have to change the "i'm your man line"). OMG, I was WEEPING.
I've said it before, and I will say it again: I cannot believe the depth of feeling I have for my child. Being away from him sometimes is like an ache...like a string tying us together and I can feel it tugging at me. He doesn't have separation anxiety, I do. And hearing that...oh, boy. Seriously...anything this child wants (you know, within reason), he's got it. I would go to the ends of the earth for him.
And THEN. The following song is "I Take You With Me" by Melissa Etheridge. So there I am, all of a sudden hearing Roy's song in a totally new way, and the next one hits me like a freaking Mack truck.
Past the devil's own temptation
Beyond where angels sleep
To the holy invocation
Of a neon city street
I feel your hand
I hold you
Through your eyes I see
My love, wherever I go
I take you with me
Down the road of my desires
To the oceans of my peace
Through the fueling of my fires
Until my yearnings cease
I hear your voice
I know you
In your arms I sleep
My love, wherever I go
I take you with me
Even though I've fed my hunger
Even though I've named my fear
I'll never understand it
How the journey led me here
But I have made a promise
That I intend to keep
My love, wherever you go
I take you with me
I have seen so many pages regarding songs people attribute to their IF journey. Songs either written specifically about it, or songs that touch people. And I have listened to them all. And I have listened to this one plenty since we began TTC, since I had P, etc. But once again, sometimes there is an epiphany.
All I could think of was all of my friends with RPL, infant loss, adoptions fallen through, embies that never stuck... We carry them with us always, don't we? No matter what happens. No matter the joy that may follow. We take them with us.
And I take all of YOU with me, in my heart...this song, I think, has changed in my mind, my heart, forever.
"I Take You With Me" - Melissa Etheridge
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
PYHO: Empty Bed, Empty Arms
For 6 months, my son has either been next to the bed in his cradle or in bed with us. Recently he outgrew the cradle, so he has just been in bed with us. Between me, Hubby, the dog, and P, our queen-sized bed has been a rather crowded cozy place.
Hubby left 10 days ago. Cue a large empty space in the bed. Then again, I wasn't getting regularly punched in the face, and the dog had space to himself. I started sleeping in Hubby's space.
I spent Saturday night at my mom's. She took baby duty overnight so I could get my first real night of sleep since...oh, sometime early 2010. I tossed and turned, and when I heard him cry, it took a lot for me not to hop up and go take care of him. But, I slept. And you know what???? So did he! Woke up after 3 hours, then slept 4 hours, whimpered, and back to sleep for 2 more. What?????? This is not something he EVER does for me. E V E R.
After discussing this on FB and Twitter with my mommy friends, the conclusion is that my sound is a bloodhound, smells me when he's next to me, and wants to nurse. Even if he doesn't NEED to. So our lack of sleep is because he loves me so much. This breaks my heart. And it taught me I have to let go...
Starting Monday night, the night before 4 am wake-up for the new schedule, I put him to bed in his crib. And he stayed asleep for 3-4 hours, and then again until I got him up to leave. I am now getting 3.5 hours of sleep at a time. 1 overnight feeding.
My little boy is growing up already, and I am having to sever that apron spring way earlier than I wanted. I can't look over and see my baby. I can't reach out, put my hand on his chest, and let his breathing lull me to sleep. I don't wake up to his little sleepy grin when he sees his Mama for the first time in the morning.
Yes, I get a little more sleep in the deal.
But my bed is empty. And my arms are empty. And my heart aches.
Hubby left 10 days ago. Cue a large empty space in the bed. Then again, I wasn't getting regularly punched in the face, and the dog had space to himself. I started sleeping in Hubby's space.
I spent Saturday night at my mom's. She took baby duty overnight so I could get my first real night of sleep since...oh, sometime early 2010. I tossed and turned, and when I heard him cry, it took a lot for me not to hop up and go take care of him. But, I slept. And you know what???? So did he! Woke up after 3 hours, then slept 4 hours, whimpered, and back to sleep for 2 more. What?????? This is not something he EVER does for me. E V E R.
After discussing this on FB and Twitter with my mommy friends, the conclusion is that my sound is a bloodhound, smells me when he's next to me, and wants to nurse. Even if he doesn't NEED to. So our lack of sleep is because he loves me so much. This breaks my heart. And it taught me I have to let go...
Starting Monday night, the night before 4 am wake-up for the new schedule, I put him to bed in his crib. And he stayed asleep for 3-4 hours, and then again until I got him up to leave. I am now getting 3.5 hours of sleep at a time. 1 overnight feeding.
My little boy is growing up already, and I am having to sever that apron spring way earlier than I wanted. I can't look over and see my baby. I can't reach out, put my hand on his chest, and let his breathing lull me to sleep. I don't wake up to his little sleepy grin when he sees his Mama for the first time in the morning.
Yes, I get a little more sleep in the deal.
But my bed is empty. And my arms are empty. And my heart aches.
Monday, October 3, 2011
My Memories - GIVEAWAY!!!
I have always wanted to scrapbook. But I have enough on my plate, and I never think to get photos other than those I want framed printed. Plus, it would be more chaos around my already cluttered home. So when I was approached to try a digital scrapbooking software, I jumped at the chance!
I give major props to those of you that work with actual paper, scissors, etc. You make AMAZING things. I, the technologically impaired, apparently actually do better with digital things! Who knew?
One of the reasons that I am super excited about this is that we are HUGE fans of photos in our family. I have tons of my pregnancy and his newborn shots that I still need to hang. But I LOVE the collage look as well, and I was really looking for something inexpensive but creative I could do for gifts this year.
Enter My Memories into my life at a VERY helpful time. The software is easy to use, and it takes very little time to put together some awesome looking pages. There are FREE downloads on their site to embellish what comes with the software, or paid downloads from some really talented designers.
Did I mention easy? I did this in about 10 minutes, as the start to an album I want to put together:
They even have videos on YouTube to assist with the software and with ideas. (Great for the technologically impaired persons like myself.)
Best part? I get to pass this on to you guys!!! One of you will get the My Memories Digital Scrapbooking Software for FREE!!! That is a $40 value, which is SWEET.
For those of you who don't win, but are interested, you can get $10 off the scrapbooking software, plus a $10 store coupon using this promo code: STMMMS78804. Win/Win, right?
Please leave a comment for each entry! Make sure at least one of your comments has your email address!
I give major props to those of you that work with actual paper, scissors, etc. You make AMAZING things. I, the technologically impaired, apparently actually do better with digital things! Who knew?
One of the reasons that I am super excited about this is that we are HUGE fans of photos in our family. I have tons of my pregnancy and his newborn shots that I still need to hang. But I LOVE the collage look as well, and I was really looking for something inexpensive but creative I could do for gifts this year.
Enter My Memories into my life at a VERY helpful time. The software is easy to use, and it takes very little time to put together some awesome looking pages. There are FREE downloads on their site to embellish what comes with the software, or paid downloads from some really talented designers.
Did I mention easy? I did this in about 10 minutes, as the start to an album I want to put together:
They even have videos on YouTube to assist with the software and with ideas. (Great for the technologically impaired persons like myself.)
Best part? I get to pass this on to you guys!!! One of you will get the My Memories Digital Scrapbooking Software for FREE!!! That is a $40 value, which is SWEET.
For those of you who don't win, but are interested, you can get $10 off the scrapbooking software, plus a $10 store coupon using this promo code: STMMMS78804. Win/Win, right?
Please leave a comment for each entry! Make sure at least one of your comments has your email address!
- Mandatory: Visit My Memories, take a look around, and leave me a comment telling me what your favorite product, layout, what-have-you, is!
- Follow My Memories on Twitter (@MyMemoriesSuite). (1 entry)
- Follow My Memories on Facebook (My Memories Suite). (1 entry)
- Leave a comment on their blog and shoot me a link (My Memories). (2 entries)
- Let me know you follow me! (1 entry)
- Follow me on Twitter (@AttilaTheHippie) (1 entry)
- Tweet about the contest! (1 entry/tweet - make sure to @AttilaTheHippie so I can add it to you! And let me know your twitter name when you follow me!)
So that is 8+ possible entries. Giveaway will end 10/10/11 at midnight. Any comment before then that is a valid entry will count, and I will use one of those coolio sites that does a random choosing. PLEASE make sure you leave in the mandatory comment your email address so I can get ahold of you! Thanks!
And GOOD LUCK!!!
*I was contacted to do a review of this product and received a copy of the software for that purpose. All opinions are my own*
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