Thursday, June 23, 2011

Praying To....?

When it comes to religion, I am, well, not anti-religion.  But it's not for me.  I was not raised in the Church, and any forays there for weddings, funerals, what have you, made me uncomfortable.  I was a hat counter, LOL.  As soon as I was old enough, I bowed out.  And this was just for your basic Easter, Christmas Eve service. 

I wouldn't go so far as to say I am an atheist.  Agnostic is more like it.  At the same time, I do consider myself to be greatly spiritual, and I do see a difference between a practiced religion and that.  If I HAD to label, I would say I am more pagan in my beliefs. 

And yet...

Once upon a time, within the last year, in fact, I found it so incredibly annoying if, when hearing of my IF issues, that people would say they were praying for me.  It made me uncomfortable.  More than you can imagine.  Or when someone says "God bless you" and they aren't saying it because you sneezed. (I say "gesundheit").  I feel like if there was a God, of the sort that so many in the world worship, why would he let the things happen that he does?  I know that even those with faith fight those feelings.

Anyway, why did it bother me?  No one is forcing anything on me when they say that...they are simply wishing the best for me.  And so I no longer balk upon hearing or seeing those words.

To say I don't pray would be a lie.  I think even the atheists among us practice some sort of prayer.  What, after all, is a wish made verbal or sent out among the energy waves?  What is it if I send you positive energy?  I am praying for the best, wishing you weren't going through what you are, hoping it gets better.

I say things like, "Please let my baby be strong."  "Please let me be able to provide for him as long as he needs."  I am not saying these things to Hubby, to someone in front of me, to a living thing.  I am throwing them out there to the universe to hopefully be picked up by...something.

I don't believe in an all-knowing God.  Or Allah.  I believe in wise men.  I believe in Science.   And I believe in the power of Mother Nature, our Earth, Gaia, Ewya if you will.  That all things are connected.  That sometimes, things do happen the way they are supposed to, no matter how horrid.  I believe in Fate.

And I pray.  There is no other word for it, no matter how hard I try to avoid it.  I pray for all of you, that your dreams of Motherhood come true.  That I can figure out what our next step is.  That I made the right decision bringing a child into this crazy world.  That my friends and family will be okay.

I worship when I lay in the grass and feel growth and renewal and health.  I worship when I turn my face to the sun and bask in its warm rays.  I worship when I float on an ocean current, or listen to the whisper of leaves in the breeze.

Maybe my Church isn't a building, and maybe I fight the norm, and avoid words like "pray" and "God" and Bibles and Korans.  But in recent times, I have realized that it is okay for me to say that I am praying for you, not just thinking of you.  It is okay for me to throw a hope out on the wind, a wish on a star...

Because we all need it.  We need that positive energy.  And that is what a prayer is.

Does it matter if it isn't aimed at any entity in particular?  I think not.

After's the thought that counts, right?


  1. It's clear that you've put a lot of thought into this topic. You've found a way to take a word such as "pray" and make it work for you, realizing that the word itself isn't the problem, it's the perception of it. Very logical approach, and it works well. :) Loved reading this!

  2. This is a great post. I was raised in a strict Catholic household, but have come to be very non religious. I'm certainly not an atheist, and I don't really know how the change happened. Sometimes I think IF had a lot to do with it. But I love how you make the word pray work for you. I've had issues with this word in the past when it's said to me, so it's nice to see it from a different point of view. Thank you!

  3. I think sending positive vibes out into the universe is so much more important than praying to one God is. Karma makes the world go round!

  4. I believe in the energy that connects us all, the energy that was created at the beginning of time. That's my god. I worship it in the same way you do. I would call myself a pagan. x

  5. You've just described my feelings about religion 100%, and very beautifully! Thank you for sharing something so personal. (I believe religion is personal anyway...)

  6. This is such a great post. Seriously, I agree completely. This is how I always think about praying and religion.

    Makes me think, once again, that you'd be AWESOME to know IRL! :)


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