Coming Home

Tomorrow, 12 days after his entry into this world, baby Finn will be coming home.

I have so many emotions surrounding this.  I feel like the last 2 weeks I have been neglecting P, but there was no way around it.  I know he's missed me.  And tomorrow I'm going to turn his world upside down in another way by bringing home a BABY.  I feel guilty about this!

I'm also terrified.  Since I have to supplement right now (hopefully not forever!!!) it takes an hour easily to nurse, give bottle, and pump.  An hour.  Every 3.  I guess it could be worse.  And P really is very independent.  I just have to make an effort to spend more time focused on him when F is sleeping.

And squeeze in chores, and cooking food again...right. No problem.  I will get a groove going.  Oh, and apply for jobs.  Because I REALLY need to get another income coming into the house.  Desperately.  Not that I want to leave the boys, but I just don't see any other option.  I really don't want to leave F this early, especially, but it could take several weeks for anything to really come through, so I'm applying now.  I use pumping time to do applications.

I can't believe he's coming home.  I  can't believe there will be 2 kids in my house.  Life is surreal...