My parents used to say when we were kids that we didn't have moments in our life. The kind of moments that alter your reality, the world's reality. They remembered MLK, John F Kennedy, and Robert Kennedy being assassinated. Woodstock. The Vietnam War.
I wasn't really all that sure it was a bad thing that we didn't have those moments in our generation.
But you know what? I remember the Challenger exploding.
I remember distinctly where I was when I found out the Columbine Shooting had happened.
I remember the VA Tech shooting.
You can be sure as hell that I remember where I was for 9/11.
Today, unfortunately, has become another of those moments. And honestly, I haven't been as glued to the tv like I was today since 9/11.
Today in Newtown, CT 20 children and a handful of teachers lost their lives in an incident that has left me drowning in grief and anger and anxiety. And thankfulness. I hugged my son so hard he squirmed away. Hubby went out and bought me oodles of chocolate that my stomach has been too upset to eat. Too upset from hours of crying.
There are so many issues at hand. So many things people are up in arms (poor choice of words, granted) about. But all I can think is that it could have been prevented. And I could write oodles on that. But this is not the time to get on my soapbox, though it works quite well as a distraction.
But for now...no.
I've snuggled my boy. I have a candle lit for those families. My heart will now always have a part of it that broke today. That cannot process entirely the senselessness of a thing like this. That does not want to wake up tomorrow to a world in which today happened.
I am sending peace, as much as I can muster, to Newtown, CT. To the families affected by the horrors of this morning. And I am hoping for some peace in my own heart.
Be with those you love. Hug them a little closer. And send some love to NE tonight.