Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Toddler Tornado

I am trying to figure out how pregnancies survive toddlers.  P seems determined to climb on, step on, fall on, and in all ways possible do damage to my lower abdomen.

I have one word: OWWWWWW.

It is painful and uncomfortable and a bit scary.  But I know it's not really on purpose.  He's just a toddler.  A Toddler Tornado.  If you saw what he can do to a room in under 5 minutes you would understand.  Granted, we have such a small space in which to function (it sends me into a tizzy at least once a week), but seriously. He is nuts.  NUTS.

He throws things at us when we don't cooperate or he doesn't want them and I have bruises, usually on my face, to prove it.  He hits.  He shoves his fingers in my mouth and tries to play with my tongue rings.  He climbs, shoves, pulls the cat's tail with squeals of delight.

I hid the bubbles from him because it's all he wanted to play with 24/7 - "bo bo bo bo?"  He signs more, please, and all done.  He sometimes says juice, ball, chicken, mom, dad, kitty, nan(a), and most commonly and emphatically "NO!"  Oh, and see, as in see?  see?  His version of "I want."

But it's not all terrible twos.  His giggle is infectious.  He is throwing food less and less.  He tries to feed me, which is adorable.  He pretend eats, cooks, talks on the phone (ah-o?), and, to my delight, if we say it's nap or bed time, he picks up his lovey and sippy cup and walks into the bedroom to his crib.  He hugs, he kisses, both on command at sleepy time.  Sometimes on his own just because.  And he waves bye-bye and blows kisses both as a farewell and a thank you.

Speaking of which...he is fiercely independent, but can be very clingy, too.  However, that independent side is hysterical and scary.  On Halloween (and at other times) I would tell him to say "bye bye".  If he particularly liked the look of the house, he would look at me, wave, blow me kisses, and go right inside.  Cheeky little goober!  He does not have, and never has had, anything resembling stranger danger.  Which is mildly scary.  He walks off with complete strangers.  Like I said, cheeky.

I worry that we will not be able to get him, ahem, tamed down a bit by the time Grasshopper comes.  Hitting the baby will NOT be okay, obviously.  We hope to get him a baby doll soon and see if we can't nurture some sort of compassion.  The only thing about babies he cares about right now is that they come in strollers he can push.  Other toddlers he likes, but I've seen him push them, too.  Or hit.  Definitely hoping we can get a handle on his wild side.

He is a joy, he is a terror, he is beautiful, and he is very much his own person.  I wouldn't have it any other way.


  1. Oh lady welcome to toddlerhood. I am not going to doll out assvice, but you gotta let him know what is acceptable and what isn't before grasshopper comes. Toddlers are angels and holy terrors all rolled into one cute cherub face.

  2. We use time out with occasional success! At least he knows we are crossed with him!

  3. I may have missed telling you congratulations, if not, then again, CONGRATULATIONS! :-)
    Don't worry toomuch about P. it IS a phase. Try to be consistent, and even though it seems useless now, after two bazillion times of telling him 'no hitting' he will understand it. He won't stop every time, but lights will go on in his head and you'll see the change. Until then, take care ofyourself. Being a pregnant gym mat is not funny for the mat impersonator. :-) Be strong.


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