Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Truth Is...

...I feel like a fraud as a mother many days.

...I am a terrible SAHM, unless you ignore everything but the cooking/baking.

...I miss my husband terribly.

...I can't do this single parenting thing much longer.  I need help.  I need a partner.

...I have an amazing amount of respect for all SAHM, single moms, semi-single moms (like military wives), and all Super Moms in general.

...I am NOT a super mom.  I'm not even a great mom.  I am simply P's mom.

...We had to sell the mobile home.  That's 2 jobs and 2 homes lost in under 6 months.  It takes skills, people.

...Hubby has a job interview tomorrow and we are still planning to move us all out to OH...y'know, someday, hopefully soon.

...I felt for quite some time that I was improving.  I now feel as though I am backsliding, but I blame stress.  And single SAHM parenting.

...Something not so great happened and I cannot have sex...at all...without panicking.  Yeah.

...I have been cutting more.

...I often feel like I need to scream, that it is the only thing possible that can come out of my mouth, but that it's stuck in my throat, blocking all logical things.  You know, like Rose in Titanic when she says "...but inside I'm SCREAMING".  Like that.

...Listening to your grandmother tell you, yet again, that she wants to die is really not a great way to start the day.  What do you do with that?

...I really am not this whiny all the time.  Things have been rough the last couple of weeks, particularly this last week.

...I couldn't get through all of this without y'all.  Thank you.


  1. Sorry you're feeling so down, I hope things pick up really soon for you. Big hugs xxxxxxx

  2. sweetie, I'm here if you feel like talking. You are not alone even though I'm sure it feels that way most of the time. Sorry for the mobile home, I'm wishing with every inch of my body that things will get better for you soon. Love, Fran

  3. I am so sorry you are feeling so low. I hope things get better soon. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. Hugs! You are a great mama and the smiles on P's face are proof of that. I'm always here if you need to talk.

  5. You are stronger than you think. You just have to get back to trusting yourself again.
    Sorry about the rough times. I hope they sre over soon.
    Stop cutting. It does not help you or anyone else.
    You are the best mum for P. hug hm tight and let the love help you out of this funk.
    Thinking of you. Hugs.


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