Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Shit, Poop, Kaka, Feces, Crap

It doesn't matter what you call it.  I like variety.  But no matter what you use, there is no denying that my life is ruled by poop.

Had you told me 3 years ago that poop would be such a defining aspect of my life I would have laughed at you.  And yet here I am...

We have 3 cats (well, one has gone walkabout) - that's a lot of poop.  And pee for that matter, but these cats have some seriously stinky poo.  It requires scooping and changing and maintaining.

We have a dog.  A dog that poops 3x a day easily.  Again, that's a lot of poop.  I remember when I was pregnant and was jealous of his regular poop habits.  Yeah, not so much anymore.

I have a toddler.  Who thankfully has fairly solid poop, and usually just once a day.  I am ever so grateful for his easy poop.  Of course, I still have to scrape out and wash those poopy diapers.  Yum.

And of course, there is Hubby - I'm not going to lie and say I miss his poop.  Holy hell.  The toilet in this apartment is not equipped to handle what comes out of his ass.  'Nuff said.

But hey, I can handle it.

All of this wouldn't be so bad, really, if it wasn't for ME.  IBS is the devil.  Stress induced IBS when your world has become a country song is horrid.  Movies make me cry and then poop.  Anxiety attacks make me poop.  Just thinking about packing and figuring out this move makes me poop.  And it's not healthy poop.  Oh, no.  It's sweaty, uncomfortable, ass-burning poop.  Sometimes 6 or 7 times a day.  I spend a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom.


Can I PLEASE get a break?  My butt hurts and toilet paper is expensive!

There has got to be more to life than poop.


  1. I hear ya... IBS is a bitch. I had a nice break from it through the second half of my pregnancy with Pip, but as soon as he was born it was right back, with the added joy of Metformin (to help with my blood sugars) side effects to boot. I was spending two hours a day in the bathroom. Ugh!

    Hope it gets better soon...

  2. Ugh that's a lot of crap. And I'm with you on the IBS poop. I was envious of people with the anti pooping variety of IBS when in an IBS outbreak. It's awful.


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