2 nights ago Finn threw up in the middle of the night. I rolled in it, it was all over the pillows and bedding. The mattress still smells like it. We cleaned up as best we could and slept elsewhere. Over the last couple of days he's had diarrhea. leading to explosive diapers and poopy EVERYTHING, including me. We have a potty training 3yo. Let's just say bodily functions and fluids have been running my life more so than usual.
Last night, in the span of an hour, I cleaned up diarrhea, then got vomited on, got Finn and I into the bath to wash up where Phelan joined us. After we got out, Phelan pooped in the bath (we are having trouble with that aspect of potty training), and then he got distracted and peed on the side of the couch/floor. We are getting our money's worth out of the spot cleaner we bought. Hubby now has it's process down pat.
Just when I thought we were through the horror, first thing this morning there was more explosive poop and an outfit change for 2 of us.
The good news is that I'm laughing about it. Because crying just seems like overkill.
Also, I don't have the energy to cry. I'm too busy cleaning vomity poopy peed on clothes and bedding.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Potty Training Hilarity
Being at school is a world of good for Phelan, even if he is having a tough time adjusting. He's in the potty training classroom. Younger kids, but an easier transition for him plus the benefit of potty training. On Tuesday he pottied once successfully; same with Wednesday. Twice on Thursday, and then all day on Friday, excluding nap time.
We hadn't been able to get him to go at home, but it was only an hour before bed. But we sat him on the toilet and tried. He prefers to sit. One night he's on the toilet and we're with him in the bathroom and he's grunting with the effort of trying to produce pee. Then he says, "Mommy, it won't come out. It's broken. I can't fix it!" We about died laughing. He's all pulling at his penis trying to make the pee come out. Hysterical.
This weekend I was determined that we would not lose the progress we made during the week, so I took the diaper off and promised cookies in exchange for successful pottying. I had to go out and get more cookies. So yay! He hadn't pooped all day, which isn't surprising. They hold it for diaper time. But he didn't.
You know those bleachable moments commercials? Well, we had one. Phelan pooped, but not in the potty. He brought Hubby poop. On a lid from one of the pieces of his play kitchen set. "Here, Daddy." He was so proud of himself. I nearly peed myself laughing. Poop on a platter. I can't wait to tell his first date that story. BLACK. MAIL.
I had to share.
We hadn't been able to get him to go at home, but it was only an hour before bed. But we sat him on the toilet and tried. He prefers to sit. One night he's on the toilet and we're with him in the bathroom and he's grunting with the effort of trying to produce pee. Then he says, "Mommy, it won't come out. It's broken. I can't fix it!" We about died laughing. He's all pulling at his penis trying to make the pee come out. Hysterical.
This weekend I was determined that we would not lose the progress we made during the week, so I took the diaper off and promised cookies in exchange for successful pottying. I had to go out and get more cookies. So yay! He hadn't pooped all day, which isn't surprising. They hold it for diaper time. But he didn't.
You know those bleachable moments commercials? Well, we had one. Phelan pooped, but not in the potty. He brought Hubby poop. On a lid from one of the pieces of his play kitchen set. "Here, Daddy." He was so proud of himself. I nearly peed myself laughing. Poop on a platter. I can't wait to tell his first date that story. BLACK. MAIL.
I had to share.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
What a Week
Monday our sitter gave us a week's notice. One week. You have to understand that we were paying DIRT CHEAP for child care. And we are still really tight on money. So losing her was a panic-inducing blow. To say we were scrambling was an understatment. Assuming we could find a similar situation, most people don't deal with our late pick up (7pm some days), and no childcare facility will. We were on the waitlist for subsidized childcare through the state, but no idea when that would come through.
I was talking to my one boss, with whom I have become friends, and she was so upset at me maybe needing to quit to work for a facility where I can bring the kids for free. Though she understood. We were trying every avenue we could think of.
It turns out that Tuesday night after our meeting my friend went to the director and area director and said to them that they couldn't afford to lose me and they needed to figure something out. They went to the owner.
The next day I found out that they worked out a way for both kids to come to work with me and attend the school without much more cost to me than we had been paying, and it's for 5 days a week, not 3. I cried. My director told me I'm worth it and that they cherish me as a teacher. I cried again.
I've found a community at this job. I feel wanted at this job. And now my kids get to be social. Phelan needs it especially. He's going to have a harder transition than Finn, though Finn had a rough day yesterday.
So that worry was over but then I was worrying about them being in school what with eating issues and Phelan's issues with structure when he's always just free played. Can't win for losing, right?
We've decided to put Phelan in the class just below him, the older 2yo, because it's slightly less structured and has more potty training abilities, to help him transition into going to school. After summer he will move up to the preschool class.
Finn is going into the Toddler class. Young Toddlers, though really it's just one class right now. He is the youngest, and not walking yet. So I think he was overwhelmed by the rough and tumble of the other kids. But he'll get there. In Older Infants he was king of the roost and had a blast. But he might as well get used to being in a toddler classroom as he'll be walking soon.
I've been given a great opportunity here. To be able to put my kids into a school that they never would have been able to attend. And I can check in on them during the day. I sneak, though, because they still melt down if they see me and then I leave again.
So, a new chapter in our lives. My kids are in school!
I was talking to my one boss, with whom I have become friends, and she was so upset at me maybe needing to quit to work for a facility where I can bring the kids for free. Though she understood. We were trying every avenue we could think of.
It turns out that Tuesday night after our meeting my friend went to the director and area director and said to them that they couldn't afford to lose me and they needed to figure something out. They went to the owner.
The next day I found out that they worked out a way for both kids to come to work with me and attend the school without much more cost to me than we had been paying, and it's for 5 days a week, not 3. I cried. My director told me I'm worth it and that they cherish me as a teacher. I cried again.
I've found a community at this job. I feel wanted at this job. And now my kids get to be social. Phelan needs it especially. He's going to have a harder transition than Finn, though Finn had a rough day yesterday.
So that worry was over but then I was worrying about them being in school what with eating issues and Phelan's issues with structure when he's always just free played. Can't win for losing, right?
We've decided to put Phelan in the class just below him, the older 2yo, because it's slightly less structured and has more potty training abilities, to help him transition into going to school. After summer he will move up to the preschool class.
Finn is going into the Toddler class. Young Toddlers, though really it's just one class right now. He is the youngest, and not walking yet. So I think he was overwhelmed by the rough and tumble of the other kids. But he'll get there. In Older Infants he was king of the roost and had a blast. But he might as well get used to being in a toddler classroom as he'll be walking soon.
I've been given a great opportunity here. To be able to put my kids into a school that they never would have been able to attend. And I can check in on them during the day. I sneak, though, because they still melt down if they see me and then I leave again.
So, a new chapter in our lives. My kids are in school!
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Sorry
Sorry for that last negative post. I was so frustrated. Am frustrated. It just feels like we never get ahead and it gets old. And exhausting. I was whining, though. I wouldn't want to read outright whining. So I apologize.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Anxiety Full Speed Ahead
Sunday I had a panic attack that had me calling Hubby at work and begging him to come home. Usually if it's a little anxiety I can handle it. This was full blown. I ended up having the neighbor come over and he watched the kids until Hubby could come home. I was a disaster. Monday morning I woke up feeling very discombobulated. I managed to make it to work, but I was seeing double, and kept bumping into the curb driving. My boss sent me home, with a promise to tell her I made it safely. I went to the doctor, and he came close to ordering a CT but opted for bloodwork instead. Now I'm waiting to hear back on it. And I'm off work again. 2 days. I'm still super edgy and at the same time all I want to do is lie in bed. I just saw the psychiatrist a few weeks ago and we kept my meds where they were. I'm wondering if it's time for a change. I'm missing blocks of time from Sunday and yesterday. Like blank spots in the day that I just can't remember. I tried to do laundry that I'd already done. It scared the shit out of me.
Maybe I should switch to decaf.
Maybe I should switch to decaf.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Happy Birthday Finn!!!
A year ago today Phelan flopped on my large pregnant belly, tore the placenta, and less than 12 hours later Finn was here. We survived 12 days in the NICU, and Finn has been getting beat up by his brother for a year now. And I'm still breastfeeding. In 2 days I will have been breastfeeding for a year!!! Woohoo! And let me tell you, he shows no signs of stopping any time soon.
Finn is a happy, daredevil child. Laid back. We are so lucky. I love this child. He is starting to stand independently, will be on whole milk starting tomorrow, and we are working on transitioning to sippy cups. We're also working on him feeding himself more table foods. He seems to be having texture issues. I think. Or he's lazy, LOL. He's about 20lbs, don't know how tall. I will know that tomorrow at his 1 year well check. He doesn't sleep through the night, but neither does his big brother, so this is nothing new in our world. Mama has adjusted.
Finn is a happy, daredevil child. Laid back. We are so lucky. I love this child. He is starting to stand independently, will be on whole milk starting tomorrow, and we are working on transitioning to sippy cups. We're also working on him feeding himself more table foods. He seems to be having texture issues. I think. Or he's lazy, LOL. He's about 20lbs, don't know how tall. I will know that tomorrow at his 1 year well check. He doesn't sleep through the night, but neither does his big brother, so this is nothing new in our world. Mama has adjusted.
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Happy Birthday, Finnegan!!!
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Child Care Dilemma (I Hate Money)
We have a sitter because she is way cheaper than preschool, even with my discount. And she can watch them until we get home, which many days is close to 7. Most daycares/preschools close at 6:30 and I WORK until 6:30. Also, most available child care facilities around here are preschools. Not daycares. I would kill for a good ol' daycare with late hours. They are cheaper. But we live in a wealthy area and the wealthy want schools and education for their little ones. Apparently. Sigh.
So the dilemma is that our sitter sometimes can't watch the boys and I have a hell of a time getting ahold of our back up sitter. This week they went to work with me 3 times. The problem with that is that right now we have low enrollment and it can be an option, but soon it won't be. I can't remotely afford to put Finn in, at least until he walks. The infant price is not discounted and is super expensive. P isn't potty trained, and socially is behind his counterparts. Well, more to do with daily structure, really, so he's in with the 2's. That's a little more than the 3's. I want to enroll P full time, but I have to see if our budget can handle it! And just have Finn with the sitter. I think she'd be cool with taking him with her to appointments if she needed to, as he's small and not so wild.
Basically, it comes down to money. I'm realizing that if I worked in another industry I couldn't afford child care AT ALL. If I get the one job I'm hoping to, I'd have to stick with the sitter. For both of them. But it'd be part time. Ugh. I hate money. I just want what's best for my kids. P needs the socialization. And I guess I'm okay with him being in the 2yo classroom. He needs the potty training (although he KNOWS how and when to go, he just refuses) but cognitively he's at Kindergarten level. He reads beyond what any of the other kids, even in Pre-K, do. He doesn't write his own name yet, but that's something I could probably teach him in a weekend. Anyway, point being, there's not as much of the educational stuff in the 2yo classroom. But he likes playing anyway. He carries around a certain puzzle all day, lol. I just don't want him to be bored. But I also feel like they get to be kids without schooling for only so long. Which is why a standard daycare with more playing would be my preference.
Did I say UGH yet? Ugh.
I don't even know what to do or how to make all this work. Adulting sucks sometimes.
So the dilemma is that our sitter sometimes can't watch the boys and I have a hell of a time getting ahold of our back up sitter. This week they went to work with me 3 times. The problem with that is that right now we have low enrollment and it can be an option, but soon it won't be. I can't remotely afford to put Finn in, at least until he walks. The infant price is not discounted and is super expensive. P isn't potty trained, and socially is behind his counterparts. Well, more to do with daily structure, really, so he's in with the 2's. That's a little more than the 3's. I want to enroll P full time, but I have to see if our budget can handle it! And just have Finn with the sitter. I think she'd be cool with taking him with her to appointments if she needed to, as he's small and not so wild.
Basically, it comes down to money. I'm realizing that if I worked in another industry I couldn't afford child care AT ALL. If I get the one job I'm hoping to, I'd have to stick with the sitter. For both of them. But it'd be part time. Ugh. I hate money. I just want what's best for my kids. P needs the socialization. And I guess I'm okay with him being in the 2yo classroom. He needs the potty training (although he KNOWS how and when to go, he just refuses) but cognitively he's at Kindergarten level. He reads beyond what any of the other kids, even in Pre-K, do. He doesn't write his own name yet, but that's something I could probably teach him in a weekend. Anyway, point being, there's not as much of the educational stuff in the 2yo classroom. But he likes playing anyway. He carries around a certain puzzle all day, lol. I just don't want him to be bored. But I also feel like they get to be kids without schooling for only so long. Which is why a standard daycare with more playing would be my preference.
Did I say UGH yet? Ugh.
I don't even know what to do or how to make all this work. Adulting sucks sometimes.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
A Breastfeeding Encounter
Yesterday we took the kids to this indoor play park. Luckily I got the tickets ahead of time via Groupon because I'm not sure it would have been worth it otherwise, but they had fun, so all is well.
Anyway, I was in the under 2 area with Finn and these 2 girls, probably age 6 or 7, were in there. They were fascinated with Finn. I had to keep reminding them to be gentle as they were manhandling him a bit. Finn got fed up and crawled over to me. He started yanking on my shirt, which means he was ready to nurse, so I pulled down my shirt a bit and we went to town.
The girls had more than a little passing interest in this. So here's how the conversation went.
Girls: What does he want?
Me: He wants to nurse, drink breast milk.
G: What's that?
M: Mommy's make milk and babies drink it.
G: So he doesn't drink out of his own bottle?
M: He does when I'm not around.
G: Does that hurt? Does he have teeth?
M: No, it doesn't hurt, and yes he has teeth.
G: Can we taste the milk?
M: Ummm, no.
G: Can we feel the milk?
M: No, it's inside.
G: (not believing me, they both reach over and poke my boob) I felt it! I felt the milk!
M: Okay.
And then they left. I was dying. I'm sure their parents would be thrilled to know that they touched my boob. I missed a few of the things they said, but that was the gist of the conversation. So funny. And mildly awkward, especially the poking part.
So that's my latest and greatest nursing in public experience. It's the strangest by far.
Anyway, I was in the under 2 area with Finn and these 2 girls, probably age 6 or 7, were in there. They were fascinated with Finn. I had to keep reminding them to be gentle as they were manhandling him a bit. Finn got fed up and crawled over to me. He started yanking on my shirt, which means he was ready to nurse, so I pulled down my shirt a bit and we went to town.
The girls had more than a little passing interest in this. So here's how the conversation went.
Girls: What does he want?
Me: He wants to nurse, drink breast milk.
G: What's that?
M: Mommy's make milk and babies drink it.
G: So he doesn't drink out of his own bottle?
M: He does when I'm not around.
G: Does that hurt? Does he have teeth?
M: No, it doesn't hurt, and yes he has teeth.
G: Can we taste the milk?
M: Ummm, no.
G: Can we feel the milk?
M: No, it's inside.
G: (not believing me, they both reach over and poke my boob) I felt it! I felt the milk!
M: Okay.
And then they left. I was dying. I'm sure their parents would be thrilled to know that they touched my boob. I missed a few of the things they said, but that was the gist of the conversation. So funny. And mildly awkward, especially the poking part.
So that's my latest and greatest nursing in public experience. It's the strangest by far.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Sorry
I'm sorry I've been such a downer about Phelan lately. I'm just frustrated and need to let it out. And hoping I'm not the only one who goes through such things with their child. Which it turns out is the case. Hearing about others' struggles makes me feel better. Not that I'm glad they are struggling or have struggled, it just means I'm not alone.
Parenting can be a lonely proposition. It's good to know I have support.
Parenting can be a lonely proposition. It's good to know I have support.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Tears Of Frustration
Raising Phelan is turning out to be the most difficult thing I've done in my life. Some days I don't know what to do. Yesterday he at NOTHING. He had some milk and pediasure and "juice" but that's it. He fought bedtime despite the melatonin and was crying that he was hungry, but wouldn't eat anything. I was in tears. I don't know how to fix things like that. He WILL NOT EAT. I think it's time to seek therapy for the eating issues. The pedi is not worried, but I sure as hell am.
He has nightmares and night terrors. Those are the worst thing ever. All you can do is hold them and hope it's over soon. I dread bedtime. The worst of them tend to occur within an hour of him going to sleep and then we have to start the whole process alllll over. It's heartbreaking.
And I really fear he's going to be 4 before he agrees to potty train. Everyone tells me he won't go to Kindergarten in diapers, but I'm not so sure about that. He simply refuses.
This child is going to be the death of me. I love him to pieces, but he wins, hands down. I'm along for the ride. I can't even imagine what the teenage years will be like. OMG.
He has nightmares and night terrors. Those are the worst thing ever. All you can do is hold them and hope it's over soon. I dread bedtime. The worst of them tend to occur within an hour of him going to sleep and then we have to start the whole process alllll over. It's heartbreaking.
And I really fear he's going to be 4 before he agrees to potty train. Everyone tells me he won't go to Kindergarten in diapers, but I'm not so sure about that. He simply refuses.
This child is going to be the death of me. I love him to pieces, but he wins, hands down. I'm along for the ride. I can't even imagine what the teenage years will be like. OMG.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Addendum
I spoke with the teacher who had P in the afternoon that day. She said he was NOT doing anything with the chairs. That he was sitting on the reading couch with his lovey just asking for Mommy. So I'm feeling better. Also, a friend told me about this necklace so I think I will order it and give it a go. It can't hurt. I don't want to stifle him at all, but I need some of the wild to go away.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Embarrassed
Friday my sitter, Abuela, was sick and I couldn't get ahold of my old sitter as a back up. I called work and my boss needed me badly, so she told me to bring the boys in with me. Finn I wasn't worried about. He's my easy child. I knew he'd be fine and chill and not be a problem. Phelan...I was really worried about that.
He started off the day okay, and in fact, as far as I know, he did really well all morning. And then it came time for naps. He was "washing his hands" ie playing in the water. He was told he needed to stop and that it was nap time. He proceeded to run screaming around the room "I'm not taking a nap. I want a movie. NO!!!" You get the idea. So they came to find me to find out how to handle him. We fixed that problem. I thought that was it.
Yesterday my boss was telling me that he kinda lost it at the end of the day, too. A parent came to her and said there was a kid in the room she didn't recognize throwing chairs. Boss lady checked, and he wasn't throwing chairs, but it's very possible that he was relocating them. He got very agitated again, and they decided to just bring him to me as I was down to only 2 other kids at the time.
When I dropped him off, I apologized in advance, knowing he'd be difficult. But I'm still so embarrassed. You guys, I try everything with him. It just doesn't work. He is such a handful. People at work are impressed with how I handle the difficult children. It's because I have Phelan. I've seen it all. But I don't know what to do. I can only hope that he will eventually settle down some, but I see ADHD meds in our future.
He can be the sweetest kid on the face of the earth. But when he's done or determined, god help you if you try to deter him. People asked if he would be attending the school. I said that A I can't afford it and B I don't want the teachers to hate me because of my kid.
I love him to the moon and back. But it's so frustrating to feel like a terrible parent because your child is wild and nothing works. He's too young for meds and too young to be diagnosed. So at this point, I just have a strong-willed stubborn wild child. Who runs my house. I feel like the worst parent ever.
He started off the day okay, and in fact, as far as I know, he did really well all morning. And then it came time for naps. He was "washing his hands" ie playing in the water. He was told he needed to stop and that it was nap time. He proceeded to run screaming around the room "I'm not taking a nap. I want a movie. NO!!!" You get the idea. So they came to find me to find out how to handle him. We fixed that problem. I thought that was it.
Yesterday my boss was telling me that he kinda lost it at the end of the day, too. A parent came to her and said there was a kid in the room she didn't recognize throwing chairs. Boss lady checked, and he wasn't throwing chairs, but it's very possible that he was relocating them. He got very agitated again, and they decided to just bring him to me as I was down to only 2 other kids at the time.
When I dropped him off, I apologized in advance, knowing he'd be difficult. But I'm still so embarrassed. You guys, I try everything with him. It just doesn't work. He is such a handful. People at work are impressed with how I handle the difficult children. It's because I have Phelan. I've seen it all. But I don't know what to do. I can only hope that he will eventually settle down some, but I see ADHD meds in our future.
He can be the sweetest kid on the face of the earth. But when he's done or determined, god help you if you try to deter him. People asked if he would be attending the school. I said that A I can't afford it and B I don't want the teachers to hate me because of my kid.
I love him to the moon and back. But it's so frustrating to feel like a terrible parent because your child is wild and nothing works. He's too young for meds and too young to be diagnosed. So at this point, I just have a strong-willed stubborn wild child. Who runs my house. I feel like the worst parent ever.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
A Few Pics
I haven't posted pics of the boys in FOREVER, so here are some from the last week!
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| Mama and Phelan selfie. He thinks selfies are good fun. |
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| See? Selfies are fun! |
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| Mama, I want the phone! Screw the selfie! |
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| Haha! I found Phelan's birthday cake! So much for waiting until a year old! |
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| What is this face paint shit? |
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| Breastfeeding still going strong. A lot of gymnurstics these days. |
Monday, March 24, 2014
My Baby is 3
Phelan turned 3 on Thursday with very little fanfare. He even turned down the french fries and chocolate shake I bought him. Stinker. But then, he's been stubborn since conception. And as time goes on that just gets stronger and stronger. He is very much his own person, and his will is unbendable. He may be the death of my sanity. And my furniture and carpets.
We celebrated Saturday by taking him to the Trampoline park, which was an epic fail. He freaked the moment it was time to jump. And Sunday had our friends over for some cake and singing. Low key. I'm just not the mom to put on a huge party he will barely remember and is still struggling with the concept of. I told him it was his birthday, and he said "Happy Birthday" to me. And to anyone who would listen. So, there's that. He knows that birthdays are happy though.
He still isn't potty trained but we are making strides. I need more alcohol. And a steam spot cleaner for my now pee soaked furniture and floors. He KNOWS how to go. He KNOWS when he needs to go. He just can't be bothered. It takes away from what he's doing. I'm not sure how to overcome that. He does like wearing underwear, though. Bonus points?
He has a renewed interest in all things Signing Time, so I'm hoping to get more videos. I want Finn exposed as well. He gets so into them. I love it. And I'm learning more as well.
I can't call him a toddler anymore. He's 3. He's a preschooler. He's a little boy. Who's learning and growing and becoming more and more his own person every day. He's growing up. He wants a BIKE. I'm not ready for that! Potty, then bike. There should be some sort of order to these things.
3 years has gone by so quickly, and yet seems like a lifetime. His lifetime. I barely remember life without him.
We celebrated Saturday by taking him to the Trampoline park, which was an epic fail. He freaked the moment it was time to jump. And Sunday had our friends over for some cake and singing. Low key. I'm just not the mom to put on a huge party he will barely remember and is still struggling with the concept of. I told him it was his birthday, and he said "Happy Birthday" to me. And to anyone who would listen. So, there's that. He knows that birthdays are happy though.
He still isn't potty trained but we are making strides. I need more alcohol. And a steam spot cleaner for my now pee soaked furniture and floors. He KNOWS how to go. He KNOWS when he needs to go. He just can't be bothered. It takes away from what he's doing. I'm not sure how to overcome that. He does like wearing underwear, though. Bonus points?
He has a renewed interest in all things Signing Time, so I'm hoping to get more videos. I want Finn exposed as well. He gets so into them. I love it. And I'm learning more as well.
I can't call him a toddler anymore. He's 3. He's a preschooler. He's a little boy. Who's learning and growing and becoming more and more his own person every day. He's growing up. He wants a BIKE. I'm not ready for that! Potty, then bike. There should be some sort of order to these things.
3 years has gone by so quickly, and yet seems like a lifetime. His lifetime. I barely remember life without him.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
I'm A Believer
Finn has been wicked fussy this week. Thursday night it was particularly bad. Really rough night. Friday morning I stuck my finger in his mouth on a hunch. Sure enough, teeth. As in multiple. Both bottom teeth coming through together. And I feel bumps on his upper gums, so I think the top 2 are close behind. Go big or go home, right?
Anyway, I gave him Tylenol, put orajel on, gave him teething rings, a cold washcloth. NOTHING. WORKED. I then remembered his amber necklace was off (he pulls it off) so I put it back on. Within a couple hours, happy baby.
I haven't had to give meds again or anything.
I am a total believer now. Completely.
Anyway, I gave him Tylenol, put orajel on, gave him teething rings, a cold washcloth. NOTHING. WORKED. I then remembered his amber necklace was off (he pulls it off) so I put it back on. Within a couple hours, happy baby.
I haven't had to give meds again or anything.
I am a total believer now. Completely.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Conversations with Phelan
P: Mommy, where's my Water Wo?
M: Your what?
P: My Water Wo.
M: What's a Water Wo?
P: What's a Water Wo?
P: Oh, no! My Water Wo!
M: Can you show me?
P: Can me show you?
M: Can you?
P: Can you?
M: Show me.
P: Let's find my Water Wo! Let's go!
M: Okay, let's look.
Looking commences
M: Do you see it?
P: Yes!
M: Where?
P: Where?
I finally figured out what he was talking about, by the way. Thank goodness. That conversation was making me batty.
M: Your what?
P: My Water Wo.
M: What's a Water Wo?
P: What's a Water Wo?
P: Oh, no! My Water Wo!
M: Can you show me?
P: Can me show you?
M: Can you?
P: Can you?
M: Show me.
P: Let's find my Water Wo! Let's go!
M: Okay, let's look.
Looking commences
M: Do you see it?
P: Yes!
M: Where?
P: Where?
I finally figured out what he was talking about, by the way. Thank goodness. That conversation was making me batty.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Ass, Bitten
My mother used to share this story about a day when I was a baby and I wouldn't stop crying. She fed me, she changed me, she rocked me. She tried EVERYTHING and I just couldn't be appeased. She laid me on the bed for a moment, and as I lay there crying she said, "What do you WANT?"
Flash forward 36 years. My son is having a meltdown of sorts. He is very upset. I'm trying to appease him. Out of his mouth comes, "What do you WANT?" Along with "Go to your room NOW."
I have become my mother, and my son likes to point it out to me. Obviously.
My mother is laughing somewhere, because like all moms she just knows things. So she must know that I'm now raising a child just like myself. And this is retribution. I know she's laughing. I know it.
My own words have come back to bite me in the ass. I'm raising another version of myself. My mother is definitely laughing.
Flash forward 36 years. My son is having a meltdown of sorts. He is very upset. I'm trying to appease him. Out of his mouth comes, "What do you WANT?" Along with "Go to your room NOW."
I have become my mother, and my son likes to point it out to me. Obviously.
My mother is laughing somewhere, because like all moms she just knows things. So she must know that I'm now raising a child just like myself. And this is retribution. I know she's laughing. I know it.
My own words have come back to bite me in the ass. I'm raising another version of myself. My mother is definitely laughing.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Better
Hopping on to alleviate fears. I am MUCH better. I don't know what caused those several days of hell, but I feel like me again. Just the usual levels of anxiety and exhaustion, which I'm used to. Thank goodness. That was scary.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Bad Times
I have hit a low point. As low as just before I found out I was pregnant with Finn. I haven't been this bad in that long. And it hit like a ton of bricks. I don't know how to get past it except breathe and take each moment as it comes. The panic is overwhelming. The sadness breathtaking. It's like all of a sudden the meds just STOPPED WORKING.
I know one trigger is that the new job has been delayed in starting and therefore I'm not getting the income I planned on so now money is on the table again. Money does it every time. But this time is really bad. Scary bad.
I just had to go to the bathroom at work and cry. Oy. That's been a while. How long do I put up with it until I call the psychiatrist?
I know one trigger is that the new job has been delayed in starting and therefore I'm not getting the income I planned on so now money is on the table again. Money does it every time. But this time is really bad. Scary bad.
I just had to go to the bathroom at work and cry. Oy. That's been a while. How long do I put up with it until I call the psychiatrist?
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