Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 2:23 PM
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 11:17 PM
Protection (ie. a house, etc)
Space (ie. habitat)
This being said, as humans, we have pushed the boundaries of what nature intended, what biology intended. We eat things that, well, do crazy things to our bodies. We have polluted the planet that gives us all of the things we need. Our water and air are scary. We live in places that really are well beyond what we need, and have not only redefined habitat for ourselves, we have wrecked it for other living creatures. (I am not saying I'm innocent in all of this, just stating facts).
Posted by Kakunaa at 9:03 AM
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 9:50 AM
Friday, June 25, 2010
This is actually a really hard one for me. It all stemmed from a post at Creating Motherhood that I read....this is apparently what triggered this week's theme. Read it...it's fabulous. Because it's all about tangential thinking which is completely the way I think. Someday I shall give you some examples. Anyway, "unexpected loves" is this weeks' theme and I've been trying to think about that all week.
3. Spicy food and cooking. It was a joke growing up how much I could not cook and how picky I was. Something snapped in college, and all of a sudden I was Julia F'in Childs. I can throw together ANYTHING with what's in your fridge and cupboards. It might be a little strange, but it will taste good. And I can't stand bland anymore. Hot peppers and I are good friends now, very good friends. I have two bunches ("ristras") hanging in my house now - spice = life. I have oodles of cookbooks, but mainly, I make shit up. And for someone who doesn't eat meat, I make some mean meat dishes. I love the smiles, the contentment, the SILENCE caused by the consumption of good food. And I love that I can make that happen.
Posted by Kakunaa at 8:16 AM
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 2:28 PM
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 3:38 AM
Monday, June 21, 2010
That's it for today. I'm cranky. It's been a long 4 days and I still have 8 hours of work ahead of me. And our computer is still fried.
*Sigh* Hope everyone else is doing well out there in Blog Land.
Posted by Kakunaa at 2:26 PM
Saturday, June 19, 2010
I have discovered that sitting is still not so comfy....oh, well. Whatcha gonna do, right?
So, home pooter is shortly to be fixed and I shall be uploading photos. I have a post planned with tons....and hopefully some (sarcastic) humor.
Spoke with my nurse - I let her know I have been unsuccessful in gaining weight and she said she wants 5-10 lbs on me. 5 by the time I start Lu.pron in just under 3 weeks. *Sigh* She said to try protein. I'm eating carrot sticks and peanut butter....think that's what she meant? I've gotta figure out how to do this. I'm going to have to eat constantly....
More later. These 10 hour work days are killing me, so next decent post probably won't be until Tuesday.....
Posted by Kakunaa at 5:13 PM
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Surfers were awesome!!!! Just my kind of peeps. We had a great night...I made a HUGE dinner for 9 and we went for a late night walk by the creek and picked wildflowers for Pixie and Frog, as well as caught fireflies :)
They left us a cd of the one guy's music, and a sea bead necklace :) It really all cheered me up, which I think helped with the body heal, because I CAN WALK!!!! WOOT!!!!
Today is my last day of leave (again, LOL), and it's back to the daily grind tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous, but if I can keep my spirits up, then I will be okay.
I have really vivid dreams, and the last few nights I have dreamt I was pregnant, in my 3rd trimester. I keep waking up feeling my belly and disappointed it is flat. Maybe this is an omen?
Posted by Kakunaa at 12:24 PM
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
- There is a solid chance that my retrieval will fall on the day of my sister's baby shower (yeah, not kidding) - which rules out transportation. I'm trying to get a few options ready for transportation - DH won't be able to get 2 days in 1 week off, so the trouble is finding someone to take me because it's more important to me that he be at the transfer. No matter which of those 4 days it is, they are almost all work days, so maybe I will have a week straight off.
- The transfer stands a good chance of happening on my birthday. Again, not kidding. I really don't want that. I really don't. My first wedding was on my birthday and that didn't go so well.....
- My beta will fall right around Pixie's due date, if not on her due date. Please be late, baby girl.....
Lupron start 20 units (orange tip syringe) evening of 7/9/10 (you will get a call this day to remind you). Take this in the evening between 8 and 9 pm.
Continue active birth control pills.
Last birth control pill 7/13/10(you may or may not get a period-no need to call) Continue Lupron 20units
First Office Visit=7/20/10
You will have Blood Work that am.
You will get a call that afternoon with exact instructions
Evening of 7/20(After you receive a call)
225 IU Gonal-F + 15 units Low Dose HCG
Lupron decreases to 5 Units
Evening of 7/21
225 IU Gonal-F + 15 units Low Dose HCG
Lupron 5 Units
Evening of 7/22
225 IU Gonal-F + 15 units Low Dose HCG
Lupron 5 Units
*Morning of 7/23
*In for blood work and ultrasound this am
After your second ultrasound appointment, it is a possibility that your medication doses could change and the days in which you come in for monitoring may vary so the following dates are estimates of when you will need to come in for monitoring.
Possible retrieval 7/29-8/1
Possible transfer 8/1-8/7
Posted by Kakunaa at 4:26 PM
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 1:38 PM
Monday, June 7, 2010
Ramifications of this??? I totally have to put off IVF. We need a shit-ton of work done on the car to pass inspection in a few weeks and we are short a lot of my income due to all this time off of work. I got 3 weeks of short term disbility pay (at 60% of full pay) in the nearly 8 weeks I have missed. So it looks like we're putting off IVF for 2 months. I think this means that I'll be on BCP for freakin 2 months straight....which is super! No, not really. I'm not sure yet. I was hoping for only 1 month, but I think 2 is more realistic financially.
I sobbed, I screamed, I laughed hysterically today. Shit, even the doctor laughed. I mean, really, it's kinda funny. In a fucked up kinda way. I'm hoping to find a way to sleep again during this time off at least. It's like one road block after another. After another. After another.
I am at least gonna get a chance to finish all the damn baby blankets I am making for OTHER PEOPLE. Yeah, I'm venting. I want to hopefully borrow this laptop I'm using right now later so I can catch up with other people and maybe stop feeling sorry for myself.
I'm totally rambling. Here's the thing....I've been needing to do this for a while. So, today was really just a shit day. Started with falling down the stairs, and it just got better and better from there.
Frog and Pixie are, well, making some changes in their house and living arrangements. Pixe's mom, who lives in their downstairs apartment is moving into the main house so they can rent out the apartment. So they had to tell her about me. Or thought they should. She admitted she thought something was going on, but hoped it wasn't. I've been down this road before with 2 other mom's, and I was always the bad guy. I mean, who wants their daughter to be bisexual or gay? Well, other than my parents, LOL. Anyway, her mom is Catholic....so she's going through the typical something is wrong with my daughter, etc etc etc. She is blaming Frog for it, saying she was never like this before she met him. Which is funny because they've been together 8 years and this is something Pixie has only opened up to herself about since I've been in their lives. Not that she's real pleased with me. I just don't know what's next. I totally feel like they've got all this crap going on in their lives, (not that I don't), and that I'm just causing more issues. I know it's not my fault, and this is their decision and they could have chosen to try and hide it but I feel terrible. Terrible.
What a goddamn day. What a goddamn week, month, fucking year. I want to be a good friend to the people I love, and I just can't even be there for them. I'm hitting a wall, here. I thought I hit that wall 2 months ago, but apparently, apparently I CAN take more shit. So you know what, world???? Keep dishing it out. Keep it the fuck up. Because I WILL find a way through all of this. I WILL find a way to be a good friend again. I WILL find a way to ... all of it.
A: Thank you for listening.
B: Sorry for the seriously foul language in this post.
C: I don't have a "C" but A and B only didn't seem to be enough.
Posted by Kakunaa at 3:15 PM
Saturday, June 5, 2010
I came to work today. I made it halfway through before losing it. Can't take the pain. Waiting for Frog to come and take me to Urgent Care. I give up. I'm so over all of it. I just want ONE GODDAMN GOOD WEEK. Is that so much to ask??????
Posted by Kakunaa at 4:46 PM
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 1:07 PM
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Posted by Kakunaa at 2:09 PM